Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Child Loss => Topic started by: mugless on December 17, 2017, 03:31:42 PM

Title: Is there an age limit for "child"
Post by: mugless on December 17, 2017, 03:31:42 PM
I just lost my son.  He was 26 in body.  Is that too old to be in this group?
Title: Re: Is there an age limit for "child"
Post by: Terry on December 17, 2017, 07:39:27 PM


I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious son. Welcome to our Webhealing family.

I came to Webhealing when my surviving son, Jeff of 28 years, died. No, age does not matter. We have members who have lost newborn babies (I am one of those members) and children in their 60's.

Tell us about your son. We would like to get to know you both. And, if you like you can post his birth and angel date and I will post them on the calendar for you. He will always be remembered on his special dates, and yours on Webhealing.

Sending big hugs and my love,
Title: Re: Is there an age limit for "child"
Post by: mugless on December 27, 2017, 05:42:43 PM
Hi Everyone,
    It is two days after Christmas and I just finished a crying spell.  Terry, you asked me for some info on my son.  Matt was a big guy (445#) but with an even bigger heart.  He never knew a stranger.  He would offer anybody a hand even though he had very little money.  He, like his dad(me), loved hugs.  It didn't matter if it was a male or a female.  He would ask the person first.  If they didn't mind, a hug would soon follow.  He liked a lot of music from my generation(70's).  He loved the pipe organ just like his dad.  He accepted my wife (his stepmom) immediately.  When I went to meet her for the first time,  Matt hugged right away. Matt was his own person but loved everyone.  Oh yeah, he loved Jesus and read his Bible daily.  He was born April 2,1991 and was called Home to be with the Lord on Nov. 27,2017.
   I'll be right back.  I have tears again.
   Okay, a little about me.  I am a born again Christian as well.  I have a daughter,29, who has gone her own way and wants nothing to do with Dad.  I work with mentally and physically challenged adults in a one on one basis.  Like Matt, I don't know a stranger.  I am a good bit more cautious than Matt was.  I am a poet,by hobby, who is in a writer's block.  I write to help me grieve.  I wrote, and read, a poem for each of my parents' services as well as my uncle's and Matt's.  I do not keep copies of them by choice.
  I will share more another time.  If anyone has any questions, please ask.  I'll do my best to answe them.
Title: Re: Is there an age limit for "child"
Post by: Terry on December 28, 2017, 04:29:33 PM

Matt sure was a special guy and in so many amazing ways. I know you must be proud and your heart overflowing with love for your precious boy. Thanks so much for sharing.

The holidays are a difficult time of the year. Writing, as in poetry or in a journal is very therapeutic.

I hope your daughter finds her way back to you.


Title: Re: Is there an age limit for "child"
Post by: mugless on January 16, 2018, 01:28:04 PM
Hi Everyone,
   By the grace of God, I made it thru the holidays.  That's not to say there weren't a lot of tears because there were.  I had a major crying time on Sunday after church.  I was putting my clothes away and listening to Chicago on You Tube. One of there songs that they sang was "Make Me Smile".  Matt did that for me.  He always had a way of making me smile when I was really having a crummy day.  I completely lost it on Sunday.
   Part of the reason I asked in my initial note was because when I cried at my dad's funeral, my ex-wife asked me "What the hell are you crying for? He was 85 years old."  I am afraid to cry in public.I know I need to sometimes,but, those words keep haunting me.
   Thank you for letting me "talk" here.  It helps.
Title: Re: Is there an age limit for "child"
Post by: Terry on January 19, 2018, 10:48:13 AM


The holidays are a very difficult time atop the already heavy burden of grief that we carry from day to day. There's so much more pressure on men to 'not' show emotion, signalling that crying is a sign of weakness. It is not. Crying is healthy. The strongest men to have graced my life had no trouble crying when hurt/sad.

Thanks for checking in and letting us know how you're doing. Share of your precious Matt whenever you're comfortable doing so. Someone is always reading.