Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Parent Loss => Topic started by: Terry on August 29, 2017, 08:44:18 AM

Title: (JustMark) Dad's Angel Date
Post by: Terry on August 29, 2017, 08:44:18 AM
((((Mark)))) :love9:

Thinking of you today and remembering your Dad on his Angel Date.

May your memories be warm, wonderful and bring a smile to your heart.

Love & Hugs,
Title: Re: (JustMark) Dad's Angel Date
Post by: JustMark on August 30, 2017, 12:17:55 AM
Thank you Terry, yes it's now 16 years since he passed. I still remember rushing to the ER after my mom called me at work. Over the phone she didn't tell me what was wrong  just that they were at the ER and it didn't look good. I got there around 8:30 am and a staff member lead me to one of the patient rooms towards the back of the ER. The staff member mentioned my mom and dad were in ther and to just take my time. It struck me as being odd that they would say to take my time but just as soon as I go into view of my dad laying on the table and my mom standing by his side holding his hand I knew exactly why they said it. There was IV tubing still attached to him and and empty IV bag laying at his side.  You could teel that whatever staff members had worked on him that they were rushing when they worked. My mom looked at me with tears in her eyes and and said she almost got 50 years out of because the 30th was their 50th wedding anniversary. So my eyes started tearing up and my mom said take some time with him and I'll go sit down. So I walked over and grabbed his hand and ran my other hand across his forehead and gently stroked it. As I stood there looking at his face and began remembering some of the things he had told me he went through while in service and what can only be described as he had been through hell his last couple of months. After a few minutes mom came over and put her hand on my shoulder and mentioned that really he had died the way he wanted to at home in her arms. She said they worked on him continuously from the time they arrived at the house, on the ambulance on the way in and even after they hit the ER but she knew he was already gone by the time they arrived at the house. I looked at my mom and said I agree. I mentioned her dad had the opportunity to get some things off his chest with what he went through in the army that no one else but me knew not even her and she nodded her head that she understood because others that haven't experienced war could not understand.  Also from my own military experiences I don't think any soldier would want to go any other way then at home and in peace.  I told my mom I had to let Cathy, who I was with at the time,  as she was out in the waiting area and I told mom I would be right back. As I entered the waiting area Cathy could tell by the look on my face it was bad news. She came up and asked if I was ok and I said not really and told her about my dad and she began crying. I gave her a min or two to regain her composure but  I reminded her mom was still back there as she had come in via ambulance with dad and we would soon have to go in order to make arrangements and contact people. So I went back to the room. So me and mom said our farewells to dad and we left and met Cathy in the waiting area and left. I made sure to pick up breakfast for mom on the way to her house and after we got there the first two people I called were my brothers. The rest of the day seemed surreal and I had never been involved in funeral arrangements at all but we got things done. When Cathy and I got home that night I remembered it was Cathy's birthday. She said she wasn't worried about it and she understood. She said we can just go out next week after things with dad are taken care of.Anyway the following day there was two viewing one in the afternoon and one in the evening and people from all over came to pay their respects, and the next day on the 31st which was my dads birthday was the funeral and he was buried with full military honors for thirty two years of service. Everyone knows about the military tradition of presenting the flag to the spouse or closest next of kin attending the funeral. There is also another tradition that goes with that flag that a lot of people aren't aware of unless they received the flag from the color guard. When the color guard fires their rifle the one of the riflemen collects the spent shell casings from the ground. Some of those casings are handed over to be stored with the flag in it's flag case. One shell for each war the vet or deceased service member fought in. With my dad's flag there are three casing one for WW2, one for Korea and one for Nam.
Title: Re: (JustMark) Dad's Angel Date
Post by: Terry on August 30, 2017, 09:49:06 AM
I understand, the remembering. On some dates, the memories from those days play like an endless video loop in my head and then on other dates, I remember only the love and that always brings a smile. But it sure continues to be different.

Thanks for sharing your memories about your Dad. They were heartwarming and the love pinned to each word, spoke volumes. :love9:

Title: Re: (JustMark) Dad's Angel Date
Post by: Lacemaker on August 30, 2017, 07:39:33 PM
JustMark. Thinking of you as you face these difficult days to come. Remembering and reliving those days. Just know you are in our thoughts and if you need to chat we are here.
Title: Re: (JustMark) Dad's Angel Date
Post by: JustMark on August 31, 2017, 12:11:38 AM
Thank you girls, sometimes just venting helps in dealing with the grief and yes Terry I love my dad very much. In fact all three of his sons do. I'm the middle child and all three of us will tell anyone we couldn't have had better parents like my mom and dad. None of us boys were born in the US my two brothers Bobby and David were born in Germany and I was born in France as during my dad's military career we moved around where ever he was assigned. In my case back then we had active army posts in France. It was in the 60's and parts of Germany were still rebuilding from the war. Then in 68 dad got reassigned in the US as he only had two or three more years to retire after 30 years of service. As far as I know it was also the first time I set foot on US soil and I was born in 61. Mom says she sees dad in all 3 of us boys and my youngest brother David looks identical to my dad in pictures I've seen of my dad when he was in the jungles of Burma. Anyway he didn't get to retire at 30 years. In 69 he requested a retirement packet and they sent him a reassignment packet and did his 2nd tour of duty in Vietnam. When his tour was up he came home and finally got to retire after 32 years of service. Yes Terry some memories are like an endless loop of video for me but for some vets and others that are not vets that have experienced traumatic events to describe some of those memories as video is somewhat inaccurate because when someone hears the word video it has the connotation that they are watching a scene and not part of the scene. Anyway I'm doing to try and get some sleep tomorrow will not be a day at the beach for me.