Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Suicide Loss => Topic started by: jennjenn13 on January 01, 2017, 09:28:34 PM

Title: My Boyfriends son Committed Suicide...
Post by: jennjenn13 on January 01, 2017, 09:28:34 PM
My Boyfriends son took his life at the young age of 13 on August 30th 2016.  There aren't many support groups for the spouses of the ones whom have lost someone, but I'm really struggling with this.  I was there during the hospital the entire time, sat by his side, stayed the night, assisted with arrangements everything.  He has 2 other children and I have one.  At first he brought me closer to him, didnt want me to leave at all.  He needed me.  Me being with him helped calm his nerves and his heartfelt emotions.  He now pushes me and everyone else away.  I of course can't even come close to image what he is feeling, having a child myself, but I am not sure how to handle him or situations we are in.  He is in the first stage of grief, anger. he take it out on me constantly.  The smallest thing seems so monumental to him.  The only time he really is more calm is when he has his kids because I know that brings him more comfort.  But he is spiraling out of control very quickly and im worried.  He pushes me away, screams at me, calls me names, and the nwont talk to me for days.  I ask him what he needs and what i CAN do and he says he doesnt know.  I have told him that i'm here no matter what.  I have asked him if he feels our relationship is a burden or that it possibly needs to be put on hold and he says no, but his actions say other wise.  I know he is in so much pain i see it everyday.  It's so hard looking at someone you love and seeing them slip out from under you.  I miss his son too. I have un answered questions too, but I know I dont feel what he feels.  I'm just not sure how to handle this.

looking for any advice.
Title: Re: My Boyfriends son Committed Suicide...
Post by: Terry on January 03, 2017, 09:53:24 AM


I'm sorry for your loss and the complications with his Father. Counseling helps if he will consider going. Family therapy is also helpful. We all grieve differently so what may work for one person will not for another.
Losing a child is devastating. I've buried all three of my children and it's beyond any earthly understanding. It truly is a violation of the human spirit.

Dr. Tom Golden, the owner of this site has written books on *how men grieve* and you can find them on the first page when you click on Webhealing. His work has helped many women understand how men grieve.

Do take care of yourself, follow your heart and let me know how you're doing. This is a long journey.


Title: Re: My Boyfriends son Committed Suicide...
Post by: cgold on November 14, 2018, 04:43:49 PM
Would you mind sharing where you are at this point?  I'm in the same situation, my boyfriend's son killed himself 3 months ago, tomorrow would have been his 18th birthday.  And I am at a loss for what to do, how to help, etc.
Title: Re: My Boyfriends son Committed Suicide...
Post by: LaVonne on November 20, 2018, 07:40:43 AM
 I am so sorry for both of you. Losing a child is the ultimate loss. The first year I was numb and did not function well. I missed him so much
and did not want to do much.  I walked around in a fog most days.  It has been 20yrs and it has become softer so to say but still hard. some days around his anniversary It is hard to function. I hate the Holidays very depressing to me, just don't care. I have made it thru this journey with the help from my Lord and continue to ask for his help. Couldn't do it on my own. hugs to you both and thinking of you LaVonne

Title: Re: My Boyfriends son Committed Suicide...
Post by: Terry on December 04, 2018, 01:34:02 PM