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Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Spouse, Partner Loss => Topic started by: Janka on November 06, 2014, 09:21:05 AM

Title: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on November 06, 2014, 09:21:05 AM
I feel alone on this board.Is there anybody else here who I can write to,who feels the pain of beloved woman or mans loss I can talk about?

Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Terry on November 06, 2014, 07:02:23 PM

Hi Janka! How are you tonight? I'm looking into a chat room for the holidays as some of the members like having a place to go beyond the board where they can share pictures, videos, etc. I also enjoy having the 'One on One contact!' We used to have a year round chat room, notice the button at the top of the board next to calendar and for awhile it sure was busy in there.

I would continue to post and as people come home from work and even on the weekemds you may find a member that wants to share with you.

Sending you a big hug and lots of love, :love4:

((((((((Janka)))))))))

Terry



Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Zylen on November 07, 2014, 09:07:50 AM
(((((((Janka)))))))

Probably quiet because of the holidays coming up, which of course makes it so much harder to deal with it all.

I haven't posted much, as for me it seems even more difficult this year more than the others, as I'm sure you understand why.

This site is great for helping to get through some really miserable moments. It does get quiet like this at times, but people are checking it often and are around even if you don't see them actually log in.

The chat room was great when it was working and people were going there, so hopefully that will happen again soon :) And maybe we can post a date and time to get together there :)

Peace and hugs sent your way

((((((((((Janka)))))))))))

Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Zylen on November 07, 2014, 09:37:04 AM
Almost forgot :P

I'm not a poem writer, but with your beautiful poems I found this one written by another that hit me with where I am nowadays...

The sound of her silk skirt has stopped
On the marble pavement the dust grows.
Her empty room is cold and still.
Fallen leaves are piled against the doors.
Longing for that lovely lady
How can I bring my aching heart to rest?




Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Terry on November 07, 2014, 10:15:34 AM
Almost forgot :P

I'm not a poem writer, but with your beautiful poems I found this one written by another that hit me with where I am nowadays...

The sound of her silk skirt has stopped
On the marble pavement the dust grows.
Her empty room is cold and still.
Fallen leaves are piled against the doors.
Longing for that lovely lady
How can I bring my aching heart to rest?


That's beautiful, Kevin. Thanks for sharing it with us. :icon_flower:

Hugs,
Terry
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on November 07, 2014, 04:44:39 PM
Almost forgot :P

I'm not a poem writer, but with your beautiful poems I found this one written by another that hit me with where I am nowadays...

The sound of her silk skirt has stopped
On the marble pavement the dust grows.
Her empty room is cold and still.
Fallen leaves are piled against the doors.
Longing for that lovely lady
How can I bring my aching heart to rest?







Dear Kevin!

I hope this is your real name.
Have you ever seen the Lake House with Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves from 2006?I feel somehow like this now.Id like to express my feelings the best I can in passage of my poem written for my beloved Jan the last night:

"I know your concept of time has changed
as though was every day for ever stayed,
being here youd efface of my tears flow,
with dreaming of you it becomes less raw.

The life without you seems as a stage play
that reminds me youre my only real way,
I want to be with you as my loving part,
missing you so is tearing off my heart.

As time passes by I meet so bad dreams
that being awake much better so seems,
although I get alone through this life,
in heaven Im forever your real wife."


Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: arthur on November 07, 2014, 09:26:27 PM
Hi Janka.. I'll never forget all of my friends on this website.. They've been with me through perhaps the worst time in my life.  I hope we can be friends.. And know nobody really understands the horror of what you've been been/are going through in your daily life except somebody else who has gone through bereavement as well. I can clearly see the immense love you have for your man in your beautiful poems and the kind of life you lead with him gone.  I am sorry I haven't been back to visit here as often as I used to do..please just know you have my understanding and compassion as only a widower can give.  God bless you Janka.
((((((Janka))))))
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on November 08, 2014, 03:25:40 PM

Hi Janka! How are you tonight? I'm looking into a chat room for the holidays as some of the members like having a place to go beyond the board where they can share pictures, videos, etc. I also enjoy having the 'One on One contact!' We used to have a year round chat room, notice the button at the top of the board next to calendar and for awhile it sure was busy in there.

I would continue to post and as people come home from work and even on the weekemds you may find a member that wants to share with you.

Sending you a big hug and lots of love, :love4:

((((((((Janka)))))))))

Terry






Dear Terry!

Would be great to share our stories,pictures or videos also on this board as we all sail in the same boat.I enjoy the answers I received yesterday.It makes me feel better tonight.Im here every day since I have my new family here.

Thanks for all the hugs!

Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on November 08, 2014, 04:06:10 PM
Hi Janka.. I'll never forget all of my friends on this website.. They've been with me through perhaps the worst time in my life.  I hope we can be friends.. And know nobody really understands the horror of what you've been been/are going through in your daily life except somebody else who has gone through bereavement as well. I can clearly see the immense love you have for your man in your beautiful poems and the kind of life you lead with him gone.  I am sorry I haven't been back to visit here as often as I used to do..please just know you have my understanding and compassion as only a widower can give.  God bless you Janka.
((((((Janka))))))


Dear Arthur!

Im pleased with your friendship.As I have no close family,the friendship is very important for me by all means.

Thanks for your understanding and comfort!Ill look forward to hear from you as often as possible.

How little is needed to put a smile on the face...

Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on November 08, 2014, 04:18:15 PM
Dear Terry,Kevin,Arthur,Lisa and others!

I couldnt fall asleep last night,so I was reading the post from all of you and it caressed my soul more than anyone would has thought about,thats why I feel so good today,thankful Ive got all of you on this board.I try to be responding to everyone in the forum no matter how much answers Ive got,but you all on this board/our board know the best how I feel and your friendship is the most important for me anyway as you all exactly know what Ive been going through almost 3 years.Im so happy Ive found this site,though later but I have.I look forward to hear from you as often as possible.

You all are great!

Send you the warmest hugs!

Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: MyLou on November 09, 2014, 05:29:57 AM
Janka,

I am sorry you were feeling alone.  I am/we are here.   :icon_flower:

You are so kind and I am glad you found us ....


Sending hugs ....

Always,

Lisa
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on November 09, 2014, 06:25:38 PM
Janka,

I am sorry you were feeling alone.  I am/we are here.   :icon_flower:

You are so kind and I am glad you found us ....


Sending hugs ....

Always,

Lisa



Dear Lisa!

Thanks for your kind answer!Im happy to be with you and others on here.Everytime I receive the post from you,I feel better again.Such a nice feeling!

Thanks that you care,Lis...

Im sending you hugs,too.

Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: jbryant on November 10, 2014, 05:46:21 PM
just in the wings for a while its that time of the year  :love4:
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on November 14, 2014, 02:10:15 PM
Dear Lisa!

Today was happening something that makes you smile again.A few people have made up their mind to celebrate the Thanksgiving at work for all around.Great news!Isnt it?Its going to be the next Wednesday all day long.This is another way to be closer to you this way too.I enjoy the next week.It will be nice.I think of you all these days to make it easier for you...

Hugs from your Slovak friend Janka...
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: MyLou on November 14, 2014, 05:11:47 PM
Janka


That is great !! Is everyone going to bring something into work or at someone's house ? Thanksgiving here is the 27th.  I leave for NY on the 26th and I will be back that Sunday.


Always Philly girl Lisa


Hugs
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on November 15, 2014, 12:40:38 PM
Hi Lis!

There wasnt mentioned anything about.It should be a surprise for us.Id like to bring something but weve never been celebrating something like this.Can you give me a tip so I had an idea of what it should be?It brings me to the idea of doing something beautiful for my beloved Jan on the 27th to make him happy...

Hugs from Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: MyLou on November 16, 2014, 10:20:45 AM
Janka,


People have all different things but here is what we usually have.

Turkey, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes , sweet potatoes, corn, broccoli, creamed cauliflower, cranberry sause, stuffing.  Desserts , pumkin pie, apple, and coconut pie.

Hope that helps  :icon_flower:

Hugs,
Lisa
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on December 02, 2014, 05:06:44 PM
Dear Lisa!

Its going to be the Saint Nicolaus day on Friday night.Im fond of this holiday.Every year I devise a new surprise for my beloved Jan,each year something else as I always did with him.Year after year is getting warmer,so we hadnt the White Christmas so long ago,but this year it will happen.Im going to see my friends living on the Polish border as I told you before.There are high mountains always white like in a fairy tale.Its a sacred place of me and my beloved Jan.I want to be there as I know he will be there too,near me,all the time...If you could only know how much it means to me being there...there is a part of us two...there are such dreams as we two made on...there is the place we two called home...Its forever.I have my eyes filled with tears writing about,so much I need to be there again...
Maybe one day you will come to Poland as you planned to show you the place of my dreams...maybe one day well meet there...I feel we have so much common and its not an ordinary thing,my friend.
Thus Im ending this message enjoying the coming Christmas,although teary but dreaming up with heart full of love for my beloved Jan.

Sending hugs!

Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: MyLou on December 04, 2014, 02:54:11 PM
Janka,

I am happy you are sending this special day with your friends.  I can tell how you talk how special every place you were with Jan.  I can tell by your poems the love you have for each other.  That my friend will never go away.

Yes, hopefully one day we can meet in Poland and you can show me all the special places you shared with Jan.  Always love my Polish food  :icon_flower:

We do have so much in common. 

If you ever make it to the US I can show you around.

Always,

Lisa

Hugs, Peace , Light , Faith - we have to hold onto all of these my friend
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on December 05, 2014, 05:56:21 PM
Dear Lisa!

Today I heard a very sad word from the friend of mine I had to go to see for Christmas.Its about the family on the Polish border Ive looked forward to.She has a problem and she has kept a secret so far.She did it once again.The last Christmas it was the same and I dont think it will be somehow else the next year,so Ive made up my mind to travel though being alone there.Im going to make it as well as used to be with my beloved Jan.I want to put up at the same chalet n.11 as the last time with my beloved Jan.I feel I have to leave.Now I have another sad event from yesterday as I helped my neighbour to stand up and I overloaded my backbone,so the pang is back again.I worry about as Im aware I must not do that,but I couldnt leave her there.Everything was ok and now I cant take a seat without pain.Im afraid of starting all over again.Fortunately coming Christmas will bring me 18 days off.It will be a long holiday.I feel so sore and sad now hoping it will not be as bad as before.

Hug you,my friend!

Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: MyLou on December 07, 2014, 03:32:02 AM
Janka

I am so sorry for your sad news and that you hurt your back.  You need to take it easy with your back. I have a lot of back issues so I feel your pain.

Becareful traveling alone and especially that you pulled your back out. 

You have 18 days off from work for the holiday?


Always,

Lisa
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on December 07, 2014, 04:35:36 PM
Dear Lisa!

The challet n.11 is unfortunately reserved,but I made a reservation through internet very close to the place we lived in.Ill send it to you including those pictures of the place as I said before.Its situated directly by river opposite the bridge that leads to the Polish side with a beautiful mountain view.Its not reserved,so I wait for a confirmation.Im about 27.12.-30.12.14 there.I have 18 days off from 20.12.14 till 6.1.15.
Lis,send you the song I like so much "La forza della vita" (in English "The power of life").

Hugs from your friend Janka


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_hKv5czy1w (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_hKv5czy1w)
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: MyLou on December 09, 2014, 05:15:25 PM
Janka,


Aww I am sorry it was reserved.  Hopefully you can reserve the other place.  Yes , please send pictures.

Beautiful song, thank you for sharing.

Always,

Lisa

Hugs
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on January 07, 2015, 12:28:09 PM
My dear friends on our board!
Where have you all been?
I miss you...

Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Terry on January 10, 2015, 07:59:02 PM
Hi Janka....just popping in to give you a hug. ((((((Janka)))))))

Hope all is well with you.

Love,
Terry
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on February 12, 2015, 08:48:12 AM
Hi all on our board!

Im wishful thinking you all were back again...Lisa,Kevin,Mousewife,John and others...

Me,Terry,Shelby and Arthur really miss you...

I wish you all a good morning...(for me its late afternoon right now)

Hug you and kiss you from the heart!

With love Janka


Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: MyLou on February 12, 2015, 04:44:34 PM
((((( JANKA )))))


I am here ....

Hugs

Lisa
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on April 13, 2015, 07:25:49 PM
Where have you all been ?
I feel so alone on here ...
Is there anybody else to talk to ?
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: funlearningmother on April 13, 2015, 08:55:48 PM
Where have you all been ?
I feel so alone on here ...
Is there anybody else to talk to ?
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
Janka


((((Janka))))

I hope you are doing well. I have not been. I have struggled coming on here after I wrote a few things. On here and outside of here I have been feeling very insecure and unimportant. I am trying to figure out how to forgive myself. I have come closer to understanding it and have realized that to love myself I need to forgive myself and to forgive myself I need to be honest about who I am, the pain AND the joy that I have created. I believe that idea is connected to a lot of the insecurity and worthlessness I feel, that I have not forgiven myself and until I do those icky feelings will not go away.

I have been going through a lot the last month and Riki has just been everywhere. I can't do ANYTHING without being reminded of him through a sound or smell or something I see or think of. It is just a flash of a memory or a little more and I try to trace it back to where the feeling & memory came from, what triggered it. I miss him terribly and I have so much else going on in my life that scares me that I am struggling to feel my emotions and to go out the door and accomplish things. Sometimes I wonder how I will make it through each day. Those are the times that I work at not thinking or feeling and focus on one thing or day at a time. I am forced to keep going because my daughter is living with me and my son wants to. I don't want to. I want to quit. I want to hide in my place and never go out again. I had to talk to my son about courage the other day and all I could think about was that I wasn't following my own advice very well.
Ok I am done, I can't talk anymore. Love you and I really hope all of you are doing well.

Shelby x
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: arthur on April 15, 2015, 08:05:53 PM
Hi Janka!! I am sorry I haven't been back for awhile. I hope this message finds you feeling better and not so alone.   You are not alone in your loss Janka.  (((((Janka)))))
Take care arthur
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on April 15, 2015, 09:53:39 PM
Dear Arthur!

Thanks a lot for your nice and uplifting message that put a smile on my face.
I missed you.Im glad seeing you on here again.
Please,come here as often as possible.
Wish you all the best till then.

Hugs from Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: Janka on May 03, 2015, 02:23:36 PM
Where have you all been?
Im here all alone.
I miss everyone on our board.
Let me know how have you been.

Many kisses from your friend Janka
Title: Re: Is there anybody else here?
Post by: arthur on May 07, 2015, 08:33:05 PM
Hi Janka!! I am ok...but as you well know grief has a way of catching you unaware at times.  It's one of those days for me.  I still live in the house where Maureen and I lived in and died in, and I work in the city that she and I used to frequent during her many dr and work appts.  I just miss her so much when I pass streets and office buildings that she and I were in. 
   You are not alone Janka. I hope you are doing better with your loss.
Take care
Arthur