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Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Sibling Loss => Topic started by: Gail08 on October 16, 2014, 03:22:59 PM

Title: EXTREMELY hard time of the month
Post by: Gail08 on October 16, 2014, 03:22:59 PM
I am EXTREMELY numb with pain right now.  This is a very hard time of the month of October anyway as it is the anniversary of my sister's last days leading up to the anniversary of her passing which will be Monday.  But it is even harder this year as everything is TO THE DAY.  It is the first time that the anniversary of her passing has fell on the same day of the week that she actually passed away on.  So with it all being to the day I feel like it is happening all over again.

I got the call to get to her bedside at 5:30am on the 15th.  Yesterday was the 15th and I woke up at 4:30am and couldn't get back to sleep for 2 hours because the memory of 6 years ago was just spinning through my head.  I hurt so much yesterday with the memory playing over and over in my head of how she looked when I got to her bedside (so very weak and pale), which I got to just as soon as I could after I got the call and remembering the first words that she said to me which were, "I am so glad you are here."  I stayed at her bedside day and night until her passing at 3:15am the following Monday morning.

It just hurts SO much having her last days just play over and over in my mind.  I wish I could stop it because I feel like I am going to lose it and not be able to regain control.  The pain is almost unbearable.  I just really need my mother right now.  I feel so alone.
Title: Re: EXTREMELY hard time of the month
Post by: Janka on October 16, 2014, 03:56:33 PM
Im sorry for your loss!

Hug you!

Janka
Title: Re: EXTREMELY hard time of the month
Post by: Doug1222 on October 17, 2014, 07:24:01 AM
So sorry, Gail. It's my hard time, too.

(((((Gail))))))
Title: Re: EXTREMELY hard time of the month
Post by: Terry on October 17, 2014, 02:08:02 PM
(((((Gail)))))

I understand. All of my babies dates, my Dad and my Mom begin in November and end in February. Not my favorite time of year, either.

My Mom died in '77 as you know (she was only 48) and I've missed her so much over the years. Life would have surely been much different had she been here. I will always miss her.

I understand when you share that you 'really need your Mom right now' oh, do I understand. What I wouldn't give to be able to crawl into her lap and feel her comforting me.

Love,
Terry
Title: Re: EXTREMELY hard time of the month
Post by: ScottW on October 17, 2014, 08:47:38 PM
Hugs to you, friend. Are you now an "old friend"?  Crazy, eh?!
Title: Re: EXTREMELY hard time of the month
Post by: Gail08 on October 23, 2014, 03:11:16 PM
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and support.  It helps so very much.
Title: Re: EXTREMELY hard time of the month
Post by: Terry on October 24, 2014, 09:57:11 AM

We're all becoming old friends, aren't we Scott?  :love4: And, may I add very good friends!

Love to you both, :love9:
Terry
Title: Re: EXTREMELY hard time of the month
Post by: Gail08 on October 26, 2014, 12:14:10 AM
Yes, Terry, very good friends.  I am so blessed by meeting all of you.