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Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Child Loss => Topic started by: Rebecca on February 13, 2011, 12:13:25 PM

Title: 6 years ago today
Post by: Rebecca on February 13, 2011, 12:13:25 PM
How is this possible?  6 years ago today and it was on a Sunday, that we found Jason.  I remember every detail.  The night before I won an award for being an advocate for children.  When we left the event we drove by Jason's house and saw the lights and tv on.  I was going to go in but said it was about 11:00 PM and if he had a girl in there it would be embarrasing.  We had not heard from him in a few days and I was worried. My husband said that if we did not hear on Sun he would go over.  We had plans to go to Chic and we cancelled them. He went over with a friend and found him on the couch, dead.  Nothing was found.  He had a heart attack.  The coroner said he died on the 10th but to me he died on the 13th.  So we angst  more from the 10th until  the 16th when he was buried.  My whole body feels like it is out of kilter.  I lost my credit card. I can't seem to find anything.  I am a mess and all I want to do is sleep but we will go to the cemetary and kiss his stone.  I am so sad.  I want him back.  I want to hear his voice.  I want him to walk in my side door.  My feelings and wants are no different than any of you on here and you are the only people who understand.
Thank you for reading and if you feel like it, responding.

Rebecca Jason's Mom
Title: Re: 6 years ago today
Post by: LaVonne on February 13, 2011, 01:01:49 PM
Rebecca: Please know I care very much and I will hold you and Jason close to my heart today and always. Keeping you in my prayers. Jason please send your mom a sign today and wrap your arms around her. Hope you find some peace today and remember I will always remember your Jason.
 love you  LaVonne
Title: Re: 6 years ago today
Post by: Donnys Dad on February 13, 2011, 01:37:47 PM
Rebecca, please know I am feeling pain for you on this day.  May Jason find a way to let his Mom know he is OK.  We have been on here about the same time and it has been a long time.

As you know I lost my Donny on a Sunday also.  Oh how I hate Sundays...

Please take care and know I am thinking of you
Title: Re: 6 years ago today
Post by: Terry on February 13, 2011, 06:58:35 PM
Rebecca,

I understand and I'm sorry for the pain your're feeling. These dates bring every memory, good and bad to the forefront.

Please know you are in my thoughts, my heart and I hope that somewhere in this that a memory of Jason, a very special memory brought you a little peace today.

Sending hugs and always, thoughts of your precious Jason.

(((((((((((((((((((((((Rebecca)))))))))))))))))))))

My Love,
Terry

Title: Re: 6 years ago today
Post by: SarahW on February 13, 2011, 07:49:26 PM
How is this possible?  6 years ago today and it was on a Sunday, that we found Jason.  I remember every detail.  The night before I won an award for being an advocate for children.  When we left the event we drove by Jason's house and saw the lights and tv on.  I was going to go in but said it was about 11:00 PM and if he had a girl in there it would be embarrasing.  We had not heard from him in a few days and I was worried. My husband said that if we did not hear on Sun he would go over.  We had plans to go to Chic and we cancelled them. He went over with a friend and found him on the couch, dead.  Nothing was found.  He had a heart attack.  The coroner said he died on the 10th but to me he died on the 13th.  So we angst  more from the 10th until  the 16th when he was buried.  My whole body feels like it is out of kilter.  I lost my credit card. I can't seem to find anything.  I am a mess and all I want to do is sleep but we will go to the cemetary and kiss his stone.  I am so sad.  I want him back.  I want to hear his voice.  I want him to walk in my side door.  My feelings and wants are no different than any of you on here and you are the only people who understand.
Thank you for reading and if you feel like it, responding.

Rebecca Jason's Mom

Yes, I definitely know how you feel.

I never stop wanting my son back, I don't think it is possible that I ever will.

The best we can do is try to manage day to day.

I'm sorry you had such a rough day, and I hope you find some comfort here.  Know that your sharing is a comfort to others like me.  It helps to feel less alone.
Title: Re: 6 years ago today
Post by: jsdaa on February 14, 2011, 08:19:14 AM
Rebecca,

Thank God for this board because even though I don't post too much, I do read.  Where no one else understands the raw pain that continues to bombard us, we can freely express here and know that all is completely understood.  My heart goes out to you and may you feel your Jason's arms around you now and always.

Love,
Jamie
Title: Re: 6 years ago today
Post by: browneyedgirl on February 14, 2011, 08:51:24 AM
((((Rebecca))))
Title: Re: 6 years ago today
Post by: Adams Brokenhearted Mama on February 15, 2011, 05:04:50 PM
(((Rebecca)))
My heart is weeping as I read your anguish. I do not know how this is possible that our children have left our physical presence and that we continue on when we feel as we are dying ourselves. So cruel, this surreal real life that we lead.
Sending you my love and wishing some peace for you.
XO Paula