Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Child Loss => Topic started by: debwells on October 16, 2010, 06:01:33 PM

Title: 1 yr mark
Post by: debwells on October 16, 2010, 06:01:33 PM
Nov. 22, 2010 will be the anniversary of my daughter, Shawna's death.
I'd like to hear some ideas of what others do to honor and remember those they have lost on these days.
Thanks, Debbie
Title: Re: 1 yr mark
Post by: WendyRN on October 16, 2010, 09:52:35 PM
Debbie, so saddened to hear of the passing of your precious daughter, Shawna.  Leading up to anniversaries are particularly difficult and I have no advise...just breathe and put one foot in front of the other.  Lean on someone close and accept their comfort.

My son, aged 21, passed away on August 5, 2007.  We hold a luau with our friends and family and our childrens' friends, including Keith's.  We alternate the tropical theme so that every other year will be something different.  We did "The 60's" two years ago and next year we are going "Trailer Trash".  (Keith loved a good costume party!) It makes my heart sing to see so many gathered in remembrance of him.  At dusk, we all light candles, and we have a speech or two and a minute of silence.  The busy night passes quickly (and I am occupied both before and after the date to help keep my sanity).  There is good music, great food, and wonderful company - but underneath we are all missing Keith and wishing he were there with us.  Maybe he is. 

Wendy, Keith's mom
Title: Re: 1 yr mark
Post by: LaVonne on October 17, 2010, 06:46:51 AM
Debbie:  I am so sorry you have lost Shawna.  We go to the land every year where Our son was killed and we put flowers,windchimes, ect there. Some years we release balloons . Some years family goes with us and other years It is just us. It depends on the weather.  The days leading up to the date are hard and take it one step at a time.  It is hard but we make it and every year we do it all over again. My sons was killed on Nov 15th. Like Wendy said have someone to lean.  talk about her,always remember her It does soften with time. We usually say a prayer at the time we leave. I will be remembering your Shawna with you.  hugs  LaVonne
Title: Re: 1 yr mark
Post by: Terry on October 17, 2010, 08:53:21 PM
Hi Debbie,

As you know, I plant either a tree or for Michelle, a flowering bush. I prefer evergreens so they can be enjoyed throughout the year.
We take turns digging and as we pass around the shovel sharing stories that are both funny and sad,  there is a lot of laughter and a lot of crying and we honor my children this way on all of their dates.

There were a couple of years and a few dates here and there that were spent alone in peaceful thoughts of them. Whatever feels right is what you should do. I know whichever way you choose to honor your precious Shawna will warm her heart, as she is always with you, Debbie. Love never dies.

Much love to you,