Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Main => Topic started by: friedgen on February 11, 2009, 05:39:15 PM

Title: More hospital bills
Post by: friedgen on February 11, 2009, 05:39:15 PM
Today was rough.  I had to go get a new garage door system for my garage door.  I went to Home Depot and of course my husbands name came up because he had a card there and bought so much there.  They started asking questions about  him not having any recent purchases.  I finally just told them my story and said to take him out of the system.  They were very nice about the whole thing and the man helping me said he would put me in his prayers.  Then I ran into a friend and fellow school mom who knew my husband, brother in law and sister in law from high school.  She and her husband use to hang out with all of them.  She hadn't seen me since the accident, but couldn't make it to visitation or funeral.  They did send their condolances after the accident.  That actually went well.  She gave me hugs and asked if she could come by and just let me talk.  The last thing is what really got to me.  It has been 6 months.  I thought I had seen the last of the hospital bills.  Today I received a bill from one of the surgeons that worked on my husband.  It talked about chest tubes and other stuff that upset me.  I didn't realize it was another bill until I started looking at it.  It was like that worst day of my life thrown in my face again.  Some would say I am wallowing, but it hurt.  When I was picking up my son I still had the bill in the car, I had just got it out of the mail.  My son got in the car and I could not stop crying.  Sometimes I feel so weak and tired inside.  I am trying to fight but it is so incredibly hard.  Void, if you read this I would love to have you scream for me again.  Thanks for listening and caring.

Title: Re: More hospital bills
Post by: Luvinmike on February 11, 2009, 06:20:37 PM
Hi Friedgen- I will also scream for you.
 Yes, the bills ugghhh. And the explanations, so sad...
 You will not believe this one. I have been off this site for a few days as i went skiing. I did great all day, apparrently got tired, and I fell very hard at the top of the mountain- got a severe concussion. I got back home after 10 hours in ER in Vermont- Thanks to good friends. I ended up back in our local hospital overnight. Well two floors below my son got admitted into the ER. We would have been in there at the same time but I was already there. He got admitted too. (Special needs). So we both spent the night at the same hospital in separate rooms- we are both doing fine now. I can't wait to see those bills and the confusion for the insurance company. Most of our family and friends have found this hysterical. Only my life can be this mixed up I guess. :)
Well, missing Mike as usual. Hope everyone on here has a peaceful day tomorrow. Or at least a good memory to get you through. Prayers to all. Terri
Title: Re: More hospital bills
Post by: friedgen on February 11, 2009, 06:34:42 PM

I am so sorry to hear of your experience.  Unfortunately you have me beat.  I am so glad you and your son are alright.  Next time don't push yourself as hard on those mountains.  I hope you and your son continue to get better and have better luck with your health.  Be careful and safe.  I hope you also find more peace. I also hope those bills are not to rediculas, it gets very tiresome. 

Title: Re: More hospital bills
Post by: georgiapeaches on February 11, 2009, 07:06:16 PM
I so know where your coming from, I sent my son out to start the car and guess what, the car wouldnt start, The good thing is my husband had gotten a 5 year free road side assistance so it can be toad for free if I cant get it started, well I did but I have an appt on friday, which I am sure will be very costly because I think its the starter. as far as hospital bills I still get them regularly, sometimes I still get medicine through the mail for my husband. It never ends does it?

Terri- Please stay off the mountains!  Vermont, you were very close to my house, my goodness you do have us beat, I hope you and your son are ok. Prayers to you.

Title: Re: More hospital bills
Post by: Jen195 on February 11, 2009, 07:18:55 PM
I'm sorry you had to be faced with the medical bills today and that they brought back painful memories..... I can relate some to your pain and anger. We have been receiving bills from the oncologist that treated Mom. They offered us a 50% "discount" if we paid it off within 30 days. I went through the roof. I mean, it wasn't like we were buying a car or something from them! It was for Mom's cancer treatment, which obviously didn't help her.
Then we received the MICU bill for the CPR and stuff they did when she passed. Had tried to put it out of my mind, but that brought back that awful moment.
Hang in there. I know sometimes that it feels like "two steps forward, five steps back."
Thinking of you,

Title: Re: More hospital bills
Post by: Jap Jr on February 11, 2009, 08:13:07 PM
I will scream for you also; did alot of it last night when I got home from work; beat the bed, screamed, cried, beat the bed some more, screamed some more and cried some more; was edgy at work all day and I just felt something was going to happen.

sorry you had to go through that; the bills keep coming here too; they are just outrageous; in the hundreds of thousands and lots of them; Jim's children are administrators because we were not married, but the bills still come to our home, then I have to take them to the lawyer. It hurts, makes me cry everytime I see one in the mail; brings it all flooding back, reading what they are for.

glad you and your son are both ok; lots of prayers to you both and your family.

I had to go and resign the loan for a car Jim was buying for me today; they took his name off of it. Felt very strange and cried signing the papers; we always went together for things like that and insurance stuff; he was my rock for all of that.

Not doing well if this is the "new normal"; I don't like it, want my old normal back.

Jap Jr's - Kay
Title: Re: More hospital bills
Post by: Michelle C on February 11, 2009, 09:55:27 PM
Jap Jr's - Kay...  I am with u.. I want my old normal life back too.

Friedgen... so sorry that u have to deal with that "stuff"... I too got a medical bill today.... So sorry charlie... Im not paying nothing.. His kid wanted everything. that includes the bills too.. I am forwarding them on to him

Terri... U made me laugh...Thank God u two are doing ok...

Hopefully tomorrow is a good day!!! We all could use some laughter
Title: Re: More hospital bills
Post by: Luvinmike on February 12, 2009, 05:24:48 AM
Thanks Friedgen- We are okay.
The tiredness and exhaustion of grief, childcare and taking care of business stuff is truly overwhelming. You sound like a busy Mom who gets a lot done. Do you try to take breaks, are you able to?
I am so sorry for the absolute empty tiredness you must feel as you go through these legal steps, care for beautiful kids, and cope with your own enormous grief. I bet you would agree with me that all the rest would be a snap if it weren't for missing our husbands' so much. I know I would run a marathon and work round the clock to have my mine back. And I know you would too.
 Please try to get rest however you have to. A friend with younger children and lost her spouse spent the beginning of each month setting up one Saturday into Sunday afternoon- where each child stayed with a friend. These were often Moms she did not even know well. Most people are glad to help. It is the asking that is hard. But maybe try her example of scheduling a mutual time where kids are safe with others and you can just grieve alone and not worry about anyone else. She said after about ten months she could actually enjoy that quiet time- some of the grief let go a bit. Hope this idea is helpful, if not discard. As we all should do with the advice others give- take away what seems useful. You are in my deepest prayers for some peaceful moments. Some comfort. Your friend Terri
Title: Re: More hospital bills
Post by: Luvinmike on February 12, 2009, 05:39:05 AM
Michelle- those are nice photos of your sweetheart. Glad you posted them. Terri
Title: Re: More hospital bills
Post by: friedgen on February 12, 2009, 06:42:53 AM
Thank you for the idea Terri.  My mom has actually offered to keep the kids on Monday at their beach house in the summer.  It is on Lake Michigan.  I usually am watching kids, but that will make a few less kids and more quiet time on Sunday nights when the weather is nice.  I am going to take her up on it.  I am hoping it will be helpful.  I think things will slow down a bit when school is out and hoping the sunshine and nice weather will help me.  Although my husband loved summer because him and I or just him spent so much time on his motorcycle and had our adult time.  I will try to focus on the nice weather and keep busy with outside stuff. If you have more ideas I would love to hear them.  Take care and be safe, no more close calls.  Thinking of you and everyone here.  Hoping we all find some peace and joy in our lives again.  Thank you.