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Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Sibling Loss => Topic started by: middle sis on October 13, 2007, 02:07:09 PM

Title: No luck at all...except bad luck...long
Post by: middle sis on October 13, 2007, 02:07:09 PM
     Sorry I have been away for so long, but my hard drive crashed and I had to wait to come up with the money to buy a new one.  Then the tech support wasn't very helpful. More frustration than anything. There was a huge communication barrier, I couldn't understand the tech half the time and the other half he couldn't understand me. The comp is finally up and running however, not like it used to.
    The foot is still not healed, but I can walk on it ok as long as it is even ground. The cold weather we are beginning to head into is causing it to ache more than usual.  The ortho doc said as long as I can tolerate it, it will be OK. I asked him what if it still is not 100% in 6 months or a year, and he said then we will put a pin in it. So I went to a podiatrist and he said basically the same thing. Its a difficult place to heal and it takes quite some time. So I guess I just need patience.
     Then around the beginning of the month, I began to have a tight sensation in the front of my neck.  I thought maybe I was just getting sick. But after a few days, I knew something wasn't right. Seen my family doc and she thought maybe it was my thyroid. Had an ultrasound done, which showed I had a mass in the left lobe of my thyroid. She put me on steroids to try and take down some of the inflammation she thought was causing my pain. However as the days wore on, I began having pain in the back of my neck as well. Went back to the my doc and she ordered a neck CT scan. It showed that as well as the thyroid mass, I had a stone in my salivary gland, so she sent me to an ear nose and throat doc. He said the stone isn't the source of the pain right now (but will need removed sometime down the road) and neither was the thyroid mass. He tried telling me it was reflux and to take some Nexium and I would feel better in a few days. Tried that and no relief. The pain became so severe, I couldn't sleep any longer than 2 hours without waking up. I wan't to die. I couldn't believe I felt that way, I couldn't do that to my family, but it was unbearable.  The pain, the lack of sleep, I was going crazy. So I went to the chiropractor to see if he had any great ideas.  He thought it was a pinched nerve, did some adjustments, and told me I would sleep like a baby. Still no luck. Back to my doc again and convinced her there was something wrong. She ordered an MRI of my neck. Ah ha finally an answer was found, two buldging disc and a large herniated disc that was causing severe compression of my spinal cord and nerves. She put me on valium and percocet, which completely take care of the pain and knock me out so I try to only take it at night. I see a neurosurgeon this wednesday. Not sure what he will say, but hopefully it will be positive. Still have to have the thyroid mass looked into, and will have a thyroid scan and uptake done at the end of the month. I am just so sick of feeling so broken. I am only 30 years old and was usually in good health until recently. My doctor bills are piling up so fast.
     Sorry to sound so negative, but this is the time of year it usually hits. My brother and sister's angle date is Nov 16th. I miss them so much , and always have, but during difficult times, I just seem to long for them even more, I want them here to talk to, to hug me, to tell me it all will be Ok. I want them here to help take care of me, to play with my kids, to just be HERE! So I usually get pretty blah around this time. Add the extra problems and I feel like I am going to burst from the weight on my shoulders. (maybe thats the root of my neck problems...sounds like a good excuse) Anyhow, just wanted to vent and update you all at the same time. Sorry I missed so much while I was gone.
Take Care All
Love
middle sis
Title: Re: No luck at all...except bad luck...long
Post by: Lonnie on October 13, 2007, 03:39:08 PM
I am so sorry to hear all this. How scary, and especially with the amount of pain you are experiencing. It's just not fair. Is the thyroid mass something they are concerned about also? I have a couple of bulging discs in my neck, but not herniated. I bet that hurts terribly! Let us know after you see the neurosurgeon (what he says and all.) You're right-this is a difficult enough time of year without having to go through all the frightening health problems. I will keep you in my prayers, and I pray that you will get to feeling better soon. I am just so sorry. Please know you can come to us for support and encouragement any time. We really do care about you! Lots of Love and Hugs-Lonnie
Title: Re: No luck at all...except bad luck...long
Post by: middle sis on October 14, 2007, 06:56:37 PM
My doc tells me that it is common to have a mass in your thyroid and it not cause any problems. But they have to look into it further to make sure. The thyroid scan and uptake will tell them whether or not it is a common nodule or something much more scary. Will have that test done on the 30th. I have a sense it will be OK, just a common nodule. Positive thinking right! Thats all I can do right now, is focus on being OK. We have had a few changes in the household lately as well. We took on a exchange student from germany. She is a great girl. I love her to death. She has only been here two weeks, but has already adjusted to our family great. In a way it is like I have a little sister again. Does that make any sense????? Not trying to replace my little sis, but it just feels good to have her here. Thanks for your support and encouragement, its is very helpful and appreciative!
Hugs
middle sis
Title: Re: No luck at all...except bad luck...long
Post by: Lonnie on October 15, 2007, 12:23:17 AM
The exchange student is a welcome addition.  ;D  I'm so glad that you feel close to each other, and it helps to have someone you can share with again. Please keep us informed on the neurosurgeon's visit. I just pray that it will not be anything too serious. You have been through so very much already. You are in my heart and prayers. Lonnie
Title: Re: No luck at all...except bad luck...long
Post by: middle sis on October 17, 2007, 08:19:29 PM
Neurosurgeon said no surgery for now. I have degenerative disc disease, so it will only get worse over time. And since I currently have my pain under control, we will wait. Only when I can't handle it anymore, will he opt for surgery. Hopefully that will be years down the road yet.
Title: Re: No luck at all...except bad luck...long
Post by: Lonnie on October 17, 2007, 08:57:01 PM
Wow-I think it is good news anytime that you can avoid surgery.  :) But does that mean that you will have to continue to stay on strong pain meds? I surely hope not. Let me know. Many hugs-Lonnie
Title: Re: No luck at all...except bad luck...long
Post by: middle sis on October 18, 2007, 12:26:54 PM
I don't need to take the pain meds unless the pain comes back. I haven't taken them for a few days now and I am doing OK. Hopefully it won't come back anytime soon. The doc said, I probably had this for a while, and being on crutches and walking uneven (due to the boot I had to wear from my broken foot) probably caused it to flare up.  Yes, no surgery for now is good news. I was glad to hear that. Just not excited to know that I will need it sometime eventually. But I guess thats the future and there is no need to worry about that yet!!  ;)
Title: Re: No luck at all...except bad luck...long
Post by: Lonnie on October 18, 2007, 09:01:26 PM
Yes, let's just believe you will heal over time. (We can believe it if we want to!)   ;D I know you do not need any more injury or pain for sure. How's the foot these days? Hugs-Lonnie