webhealing.com

Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Child Loss => Topic started by: Tom on December 02, 2006, 08:24:34 AM

Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: Tom on December 02, 2006, 08:24:34 AM
If you look at the buttons across the top of the board you will see home, help, search, profile calendar, and logout.  Try clicking on calendar.  The month of December will pop up.  Notice December 15th. It is a link to a post I wrote to show how you can put up your anniversary date on the calendar.  I have changed the permissions so any registered member can post an event on the calendar.  I think this could be a very helpful feature and I hope some of you will experiment with it.  Just click on calendar and you will see the "post event" button near the bottom.  Just click that and you will go to a page that is very similar to posting a regular message except it has a place to put in the date.  You can use the original death date but please also use the next anniversary date coming up in order to have it listed on the present calendar.  For example, if someone I loved died on march 14th 2002 I could post an event for march 14th 2002 but it would not show up in this years calendar.  I would need to post an event for march 14th 2007 and that way my next anniversary would be listed.  Make sense?

Give it a try and see what  happens.

Tom
Title: Re: Calendar....Please Read
Post by: faye on December 02, 2006, 07:07:13 PM
Tom and everyone

See my post under Calendar also.
Title: Re: Calendar
Post by: stella joshs mom on December 03, 2006, 02:59:44 AM
Hi Tom-
Ok I give!  I can not get either my picture in the upper right or Joshs picture under the post to work.  Mine appears white with a red x in it and Joshs is just the URL address.  I tried the tabs you suggested up top of this page but to no avail.  Can you help, please.
Stella   ???
Title: Re: Calendar
Post by: Tom on December 03, 2006, 09:28:54 PM
Stella - Here is the text for your image:

Code: [Select]
[img width=400 height=300]http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o61/swichman/IMG_0255.jpg[/img]
If you copy and paste that into your message you will get this:

(http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o61/swichman/IMG_0255.jpg)
Title: Re: Calendar
Post by: linda_silas on December 05, 2006, 02:34:15 AM
Why do the calendar entries appear in the postings as well?  Are they supposed to?  Or did I do something wrong?
Title: Re: Calendar
Post by: CRCmom on December 08, 2006, 06:00:36 PM
(http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y184/PRKiernan/cris2.jpg)


YEA!!!!!!  I'M NOT AS DUMB AS I THOUGHT I WAS!!!!

LOVE ON THE JOURNEY,
PAULA
Title: Re: Calendar
Post by: faye on December 08, 2006, 06:31:19 PM
Hey, Paula that is great.  So good to see your handsome son again.
Title: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Dena on December 11, 2006, 07:07:53 PM
Post any questions you have and you will find an answer here!
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: starynyte on December 11, 2006, 07:38:50 PM
How to use BBC tags
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: starynyte on December 11, 2006, 07:40:00 PM
.
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: starynyte on December 11, 2006, 07:41:12 PM
to include a pic in your signature file [found under your profile settings] it will show up with each post but you need to upload it to a hosting site first, like photobucket.

u can attach photos to your actual post, but u have to do this each time, these photos can come right from your hard drive, no need to have them hosted on another site, look at the bottom of the post window, u will see [additional options] click on it to open the menu, choose [browse] and find the photo u want to include in ur post
Title: using private messages
Post by: starynyte on December 11, 2006, 07:42:37 PM
.
Title: Re: Calendar
Post by: starynyte on December 12, 2006, 05:55:45 AM
Tom, Is this going to be the sticky thread to hold all the calendar posts?
Title: Re: Calendar
Post by: sykeller (Ray's mom) on December 12, 2006, 02:39:51 PM
Tom,

I accidentally posted my son Ray's birthday as March 1, then correctly posted the March 17th date.  I have not been able to remove the incorrect posting for March 1.  How can this be removed.

Thanks,

Sy
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Lori, Alex's Mom on December 12, 2006, 06:07:00 PM
I finally have pics of Alex to post but everytime I do they are GIGANTIC!

How do I make them smaller? 

Thanks.

Alex's mom
Title: Re: Calendar
Post by: Tom on December 14, 2006, 10:28:26 AM
Sy - I think I deleted the event for March 1.  Your March 17 seems to still be okay.  I hope the thread didn't get deleted along with the event.  We will see.

Tom
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Chy Scott's Mom on December 18, 2006, 08:18:26 AM
Ok, I think I'll try the picure thing, I put some on photbucket.  I am wondering though, when I see a post I want to read, I click on it and what comes up first is all the replys.  Any place I can reset that so I read the post first and have the replys follow, like our old site?
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: Dena on December 22, 2006, 04:22:27 AM
This is the thread for everyone to contribute to!  In order for any online community to work - there should  be guidelines that all can understand & follow.

Please give some thought to this and add your thoughts/suggestions below.  You can use many different ways to do this. Words that help/words that hurt, cliches, etc.

Always remember first and foremost.  This is YOUR board. We need to keep it safe and user friendly.

My thoughts, as always,  regard the diversity on the board.  We have many people here of many different religions & different beliefs.  I believe that no child/parent should ever have to feel guilt and/or question the "salvation" of their child's soul.  Guilt is our worst enemy.  It denies us the opportunity to grow through grief.

And now, I turn the thread over to you to add your thoughts.  

PLEASE - you may disagree with someone's thoughts or beliefs.  Do NOT attack them for this.

We are all adults here who have been through a terrible tragedy.  

I will exercise moderator powers in the case of any racial/racist remarks and this includes remarks made in a malicious fashion towards a religion/beliefs, remarks seen as stereotypical/profiling, etc.  These posts will be immediately deleted.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom
Title: Re: BOARD GUIDELINES
Post by: Louise on December 22, 2006, 10:24:17 AM
I agree with Katie about religion.I think saying I'm praying for you or bless you is OK,because that is a form of endearment and kindness,but I mean to talk about certain religions or aspects of it,that could hurt someone, that is all i can think of right now.Love,Louise[keren's mom]
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: Debh on December 22, 2006, 10:27:30 AM
Hello,

None of you have ever heard from me before, as I have never posted here.  I am familiar with this board, though.  I am Chadís father and Deb Hís husband.  This morning we were talking about guidelines for the board Ö I believe there was a request for input.  

As I mentioned, I am quite familiar with this board, as Deb and I often talk about it and the people with whom she converses, and I feel I even know some of you through her.  I know the board has been a source of comfort for her over the years, but I also know it has at times been a source frustration, and sometimes, hurt and anger.  And it seems to me that a forum designed for the specific purpose of offering and giving some measure of comfort and understanding to people who have suffered the loss of someone very dear to us should never be the source of frustration, hurt, or other negative feelings.  So I asked her if she minded if I say my piece Ö so for what itís worth, here you go.

Itís a difficult thing to do Ö trying to bring a group of people together for the purpose of providing comfort and understanding when the very people who seek and provide that comfort here are so different.  We all share the one thing we wish we did not share Ö having lost a precious person in our lives.  It is the one thing (and probably the only thing in most cases) that we do have in common.  Death touches everyone.  It has no prejudice and no favoritism.  Black or white, rich or poor, old or young Ö it doesnít matter.  We all feel the pain of the same kind of loss.  But beyond that, we are all different.  We each have our own feelings, beliefs, opinions, and ideas.  The differences can go very deep when we consider spiritual differences and views on what is moral and what is not.  Yet, each of us has a right to the feelings and ideas and beliefs that make us who we are.  None are right and none are wrong.  And we DO have the right to share and express them without reprisal or criticism.  However, we DO NOT have the right to impose our views, beliefs, etc. onto anyone else.

It seems to me that if we keep the very purpose for this board at the forefront of our minds and hearts whenever we come here, the rest should fall into place quite easily.  If we take ownership of our own feelings, beliefs, etc. and allow everyone else to do the same, we can be a loving help to each other while not allowing our differences to get in the way.  If we think carefully about what it is we want to share, and choose our words carefully, we can each freely express ourselves while being sensitive to the differences between us.  I have always felt that many times, how we say something is just as important (maybe even more important) as what we say.

So, thatís my two cents Ö plain and simple.  Nothing magical.  Itís known by some as the ĎGolden Ruleí Ö treat others as you want to be treated yourself.

I hope each of you enjoys the holidays coming up and that you can share them with family and friends.  I know these times can also be difficult Ö because itís at these times we usually miss them the most Ö the ones who arenít here.  Still, maybe thatís how it is supposed to be.  We have to feel pain to know what itís like to not have pain.  We have to experience sadness in order to know the joy of happiness.  I guess itís how we know that we love, and are loved in return.

Gordy

This is Debh now and I would like to thank my hubby for joining us today and I at this time have nothing to add, he sums up very nicely how I feel.

I will take time to think through words that are painful to me and post more later, Racial remarks, alcohol and drugs I am sensitive with,  blood curdling and hang are painful words both pertaining to the deaths of my boys.

Special thanks to Tom and Dena again for doing all they do for us at this board.

Hope your holidays are peaceful and you feel the love of your children, family and friends close to you.

Love to our children and loved ones who are not with us today and  forever missed.

Deb
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: CRCmom on December 22, 2006, 01:09:53 PM
To all my friends,

I think having guidelines is an excellent idea.  I have learned the hard way that saying the wrong thing can hurt someone even when it wasn't meant to.  I also think Gordy summed it up well.  Treat others as you want to be treated.  We all have words or phrases that might bring images of emotions.  Everything reminds me of my son.  

I only ask that we not assault someone who may say something unintentionally that hurts.  I am a recovering alcoholic and people say things all the time on the board that hurt, but that's not my purpose here and I understand the anger and rage, but sometimes we just have to hold on to our own feelings and think about another.  

I too am so sorry for everyone who has to go through this experience of losing a child.  I hope most of all we can demonstrate true love and concern for anyone coming here that wants and needs help.

Love to you all
Title: Re: BOARD GUIDELINES
Post by: Dottie (Tammie's Mom) on December 22, 2006, 01:37:59 PM
If guidelines are needed then I hope we can all work with them and try not to hurt anyone.

I hope that if I have ever hurt someone they know I never intended it that way. I know that some may not know how each of us lost our child and so therefore don't think while we are posting.

I know that each of you has brought me comfort these past 15 months and I hope we can all keep doing what we seem do need most, COMFORT AND HELP EACH OTHER.

I have been hurt several times but I also know or hope it was unintended.

THANK YOU all for what you have given to me,
In my thoughts,
Dottie Tammie's Mom
Title: Re: BOARD GUIDELINES
Post by: Rebecca on December 22, 2006, 05:54:41 PM
Hello Everyone:  We are on our way to dinner but I couldn't leave without responding.  I will give the topic much more thought but to Debh and Gordy (so wonderful to hear from you) Debh you said it best... A suggestion, let's use the word 'SENSATIVE"

instead of the other word

I hope that this word can help some of us who might not read a topic, etc. because it it too difficult. 
Rebecca Jason's Mom
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: starynyte on December 22, 2006, 09:54:20 PM
Ok, I think I'll try the picure thing, I put some on photbucket.  I am wondering though, when I see a post I want to read, I click on it and what comes up first is all the replys.  Any place I can reset that so I read the post first and have the replys follow, like our old site?

under your profile there is a setting for this :)
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: starynyte on December 22, 2006, 09:55:47 PM
Ok, I think I'll try the picure thing, I put some on photbucket.  I am wondering though, when I see a post I want to read, I click on it and what comes up first is all the replys.  Any place I can reset that so I read the post first and have the replys follow, like our old site?

they need to be resized using a photo editing software program, if you like, you can email me the pic and I'll resize it for you.
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: Chy Scott's Mom on December 24, 2006, 03:49:16 AM
The view I am about to express is mine alone, maybe some sort of insight into me and my characteristics or personality.  I am by no means disagreeing with everyones desire to have guidelines, I'm flexible and will adjust accordingly.  
     Wow, I agree mostly, but before you get upset with my "mostly"statement, let me explain.  I've had issues with religion growing up with Roman Catholic abusive hypocrites so I tend to stay away from the "God Bless You" sort of stuff, but as for offending me?  No, it doesn't offend me, agitates me at times because I'm a little angry with the powers that be.  I spent a lifetime search on religion and spirituality and finally found a shoe that fits me.  For me it's private, although I am willing to discuss it, I just don't usually bring it up.
        I still can't watch movies or shows with bad car crashes in them, my baby didn't survive one so I adjust my media watching.  
    I try to take others words at face value and given the fact that we are all here with this horrible common bond, I guess I choose to believe that anything said in a way that might cause me pause is coming from a "brother" or "sister" and isn't intended to hurt me, offend me or anger me, it's just the way they chose to express those sometimes rambling thoughts that need out.  I imagine I've been guilty of that and I do try to temper my words, no outward swearing but I do say things like "s***" or things similar.  I guess if I read something that doesn't strike a cord for me at the time, I move on and if it's something I disagree with or have a viewpoint on, I will either reply or not according to my mood.
   Maybe , well no, I was gonna say, head the topic religious in nature but then a lot of valuable viewpoints and positive support might be missed by those not "into" religion.
    I really want to say Thanks to Gordy who so eloquently put into words the main diet of how I try to live my life.  A lot of things that bother other just don't faze me, to many other things to worry about and if folks are happy, then more power to them, as long as it hurts no one else.  I'm here and willing to conform as best I can.    ;)
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Chy Scott's Mom on December 25, 2006, 10:35:46 PM
Ok, I think I'll try the picure thing, I put some on photbucket.† I am wondering though, when I see a post I want to read, I click on it and what comes up first is all the replys.† Any place I can reset that so I read the post first and have the replys follow, like our old site?

they need to be resized using a photo editing software program, if you like, you can email me the pic and I'll resize it for you.

Hey Thanks Cherri   Chris's Mom-  I have those goofy programs on my 'puter if I need to revamp but I thank you for your offer.  If I was running a dinosaur computer I'd have needed that help.  Good day to ya! :)
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: karen ronnies mom on January 03, 2007, 11:27:33 AM
Post any questions you have and you will find an answer here!
Hi Dena..I am not sure how to post a picture with my comment. I have one beside my post but I also want to have one in my post..Not sure how to do this..I see the insert image button but when I click on it it just puts this(http://)....Thanks for any help...Karen
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Carol A on January 03, 2007, 12:29:56 PM
It appears that none of my posts are showing.
Also, I had to re-register to be able to access the boards for replies.
I re-registered using the same name as before and pw. *shrugs*
I have no idea what I am doing wrong.
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: karen ronnies mom on January 03, 2007, 01:08:53 PM
Post any questions you have and you will find an answer here!

Hi Dena,

   Sorry for the questions but what is newbie, jr member, sr member...

Karen Ronnies Mom
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Johanna on January 18, 2007, 09:55:42 PM
Post any questions you have and you will find an answer here!


Hi Dena,

I used to have Micheal's photo in my signature box, but when I went into my profile to change the photo, the picture now doesn't show up in the signature box anymore, just a link to photobucket.  What did I do wrong!?!

Thanks Dena,
Love and hugs,
Johanna, Micheal's mom
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Dena on January 25, 2007, 03:30:21 AM
You are missing the http tag at the end of your line and that is why it is not showing.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Johanna on January 25, 2007, 08:26:45 PM
I'm really sorry to be bothering you again Dena, but what do you mean?  I cut and pasted right from the photobucket URL link box.  Is there something else I need to do?  I'm really confused, because I had it working before, and now.... ?
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: faye on January 26, 2007, 08:15:19 PM
Put an (http://just before the http and then at the very end put).  Don't forget the slash at the end.  see if this works.
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Johanna on January 26, 2007, 09:19:25 PM
Yay! Thank you Faye.

Love and hugs,
Johanna, Micheal's mom
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: quint906 on February 05, 2007, 11:29:38 AM
Hi.

I finally figured out how to download pictures into photobucket.  I've gone to my profile to try to post them.  When I do, the category (even though I selected one picture) comes up with my documents.  Will this one picture post, or will I have other info coming in?  Does this make sense?  Help!

Jo
Title: Re: Tutorial - Logging On
Post by: ~Dee on February 08, 2007, 03:56:04 AM
I am having a problem logging on to the board.  When I sign in, I get a page that says: 

"You don't have permission to access /forums/index.php on this server.

Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request. "

If I use my back button, I am not logged in.  If I close my browser, then return to the forum, it shows me as logged in.

Is there something else I should be doing?


Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: rose on February 23, 2007, 06:42:25 AM
I am fairly new to this.  I would like to post a picture of my Jason so that it will show on every post.  Where can I find this photobucket?

Thanks
Rose
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: lainie on March 30, 2007, 03:30:53 PM
I cannot seem to get a photo of my daughter Brynn on here like everyone elses.  I am getting very frustrated.  Please help!
Elaine
Title: Setting up times to chat
Post by: Tom on April 20, 2007, 05:19:55 PM
We have had some discussions on another thread and a suggestion was to start a thread to help people set up times to chat.  Feel free to post to this thread and let us know when a good time might be for you.  Once we get some times that are good for folks we can put them into the top post so those looking can find them easily.

For those of you who might not know, you can get into the chat program by clicking the "Chat" link in the upper toolbar.  That should open a new page with the chat program and you should be automatically logged in with your screen name from the board.

Tom
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: jazzgirl on May 08, 2007, 02:05:33 PM
Thank you, Tom, for all of your hard work in setting up this web sight. You really do sound like you have a heart of gold. It is really great to have someone take their grieving to a different level to help others the way that you have.  I just wanted to take the time to say that I appreciate what you are doing. Keep up the good work!!
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: Sandy on May 29, 2007, 05:39:41 PM
Tom, I would be willing, okay, I would be THRILLED, to do a chat (question and answer type...) about my experiences, and hopefully get people into the chat "groove" in the process. Just email me and let me know if you want me to show up. BTW, The new board is awesome.

===
Expect Miracles,
Sandy Goodman
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Wadesmom on June 25, 2007, 06:39:06 AM
I've read and reviewed all the posts written about submitting a photo and each time I try this- it states that the file is full  and to contact the administrator. 
I have decreased the photo to 90.0 KB and it is rejected each time.  Any tips would be helpful.

Thank you

Wadesmom
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: owensmom on July 11, 2007, 08:20:58 PM
Help, please.  I'm having the same problem with posting a picture of Owen. 

Thanks,
Linda
Owen's mom
Title: Re: Calendar
Post by: lainie on August 12, 2007, 06:53:00 PM
I tried to post birthdays and stuff, but it diddn't work.
Elaine
Title: Re: BOARD GUIDELINES
Post by: MelissaCharliesMom on August 24, 2007, 07:50:29 AM
Thanks for bumping this up though I am not sure if board gudelines have anything to do with having a mature, respectful conversation in which a group of adults are willing to share their thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
Title: Re: Calendar
Post by: IANSMOM on September 20, 2007, 08:26:53 PM
Tom,
 I am Ian's mom I havent had any luck with this new web sight .
It wont let me post or put a photo on the sight.
it says my file is full?????????
I havent been here in at least a year. could you help me?
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: JONBOYS MOM on October 08, 2007, 11:29:50 AM
TOM

I AM HERE TO HELP TOO!!

Im on line all day from 7:00 to 5:00   would love to help my friends in need, and they can help me as well.. thanks


Jonboys mom
Donna
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Dawson on November 19, 2007, 03:14:15 PM
I have heard of photobucket.com. I will be able to figure that out. I am sure that you need to do a copy and paste thing from that site. BUT. If I copy the file/code, where do I go to on this site to paste. Or does photobucket do that for you if you give them the www address?
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: luckyladyb on November 19, 2007, 07:32:04 PM
This is actually from a post that someone else did but you may find the info helpful:

Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: Annette on December 07, 2007, 02:17:54 PM
I have an idea. Perhaps some of us can volunteer to be in the chat room every evening at a certain time. The schedule can be posted. People will start to get used to the schedule and it could become a source of support. I know that most evenings and weekends, I cry and cry and feel soooooooooo alone. I don't know where to turn. I would be willing to host a chat (by sitting in the chat room and welcoming everyone) at least one hour a week. I live in the Pacific Time Zone, and 6 pm Pacific time would work for me, or even later.....

Love,
Annette
Michael's Mom
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: Annette on December 08, 2007, 12:32:12 PM
I tried to post my son, Michael's, birthday for December 13 and it went on today's date. Can't figure out how to fix it.
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: Brenda Taylors Mom on December 13, 2007, 02:03:17 AM
I will never intentionally hurt anyone here, we have been hurt enough for many lifetimes.. I just come for comfort, to give comfort and to be part of this family that I believe our children are part of... I love you all and if I have ever ever said anything to offend or hurt I am so so deeply sorry.
Love
Bremda
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics (GL)
Post by: KitchenWitch on December 29, 2007, 11:56:08 PM
     Thank you and Congratulations!  This is the first Grief Board that I have come across that truly embodies my feelings.  To all who have posted before me, I do understand your pain.  I also understand your frustration at some of the insensitive words that we hear/read.
     In my case, my 23 year old son was in a car accident with 2 other young men.  All 3 were killed.  The local newspaper ran the story on the front page the next afternoon.  That same evening they called me to ask if I had a recent picture of Vince and if I did, would I please bring it to the funeral home so they could pick it up and run it with the obituary.  They did the same with the other 2 families.  What they said was true.  All 3 pictures were indeed placed with the obituraries; but can you imagine our horror and shock when we first saw the morning paper and all 3 of their pictures were Front Page with the headline "3 Men Killed In Accident, Alcohol Suspected"!  
     To add insult to injury, when I called Vince's father (he had not seen him for 19 years but lived only 3 1/2 hours away) to let him know that his son had died, he had the nerve to ask me if I thought it was necessary for him to come to the funeral home or would sending flowers be enough! ???  You think that was bad!  Hold on to your hats!  He then told me he had a son (as if Vince was not his son) about to turn 16 and get his driver's license, and if it wouldn't be too much trouble, would I please send him a newspaper so he could use it as a training tool! :o (Needless to say, I had some very choice words to say to the (man?) that fathered my son, never paid one cent of child support, and then spoke the unspeakable to me! ;))
     After the funeral and all of my friends had left me (you all know about that), I was left alone at home.  I knew that 2 of the young men had died instantly because the paper said so, but I was unsure of how quickly Vince's death had come.  I was crazed  ::) so I called the Coroner and asked him.  Now, in retrospect, simple kindness would have had the gentleman just tell me what I needed to hear; but NO, instead he said, "Well, it took me about 25 minutes to get to the scene, and he was dead when I got there, he then described in vivid detail how he had found my son's body, there would be no way for me to give you an accurate time."
     As to your views on religion, I so respect what you have done here.  It is exactly what I have tried to implement in the local funeral homes but they all shy away from it.  They all want to stay with the traditional Christian God as their method of After-Care for the families.  The Funeral Directors have all shunned me when I have tried to explain that there are people that actually lose their faith during this time and they are the ones that need the most comfort.  They are the ones that feel they have nothing.
     For me it has been 14 years (and just yesterday) since the loss of Vince.  Thank you so much for the work you are doing here.  Blessed Be ~Donna
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: inwinterbleeding on February 18, 2008, 12:06:22 PM
I could do one as well.  Maybe we can drum up some other guys around here to take part... or maybe partners of those of you who do post on the board.  I'm in the central zone 9 or 10ish would be best for me at nite

will z.
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: Missygirl on February 22, 2008, 03:17:48 PM
i recently lost my youngest son of 25 to a hit and run driver. It has been two since his tragic death. I know that I am not alone in this world to loose a child no matter what age in a tragic death. All the same, as my heart goes out to their families, my heart is grieving the lost of my son. His life just started to change for the better and now it is gone. Too many times we take each day for granted and we never know when we will ever meet again, we just assume we all will. It is a bittersweet pill to take when you loose one of your own and it is harder when you are the parent burying your son or daughter.

Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: WendyRN on February 22, 2008, 08:41:19 PM
Missygirl, I'm very sorry to hear of the tragic passing of your youngest son.  Children shouldn't leave this earth before their parents.  But it happens far too often as this board attests.  I hope coming here and pouring your heart out when you feel like it will help a little.  Even just reading and knowing you are not alone has  been so helpful to me.  My 21 year old son, Keith, has been gone from me since August 5, 2007.  Still so hard to believe. 

Wendy, Keith's mom
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: Annette on March 21, 2008, 04:02:53 PM
Wendy and Missygirl, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sons. I lost my son, Michael, too, last year in May. It's so very painful. I'm happy this board is here, even if I'm not quite sure what to do with it.

Love,
Annette
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: janiebeth on March 27, 2008, 04:27:23 PM
I just came from the chat room and was very disappointed that there are no occupants. Any evening, I think, would be a good time. Let's try just jumping in and hoping for someone to be there.
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: jamies mum on April 29, 2008, 02:05:44 PM
hi i have just joined my name is wendy ilost my son jamie nearly five years ago to a hit and run i would love to talk to others in same situation the boy who killed me son was only 14 himself on a stolon moterbike its been 4 years and every day just seems like the last im sorry for all that have been though the same i hope to hear from people soon  and god bless
 
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: George on April 29, 2008, 08:25:08 PM
I logged on around 10:30pm to chat and no one was one. Maybe next time.
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: dollyjnb on June 20, 2008, 10:14:11 PM
after 9:00 would be good for me
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: lostwithouthim on June 30, 2008, 10:49:02 AM
If I have offended anyone with anything I have said or will ever say. Please know that it is not my intention . There is enough hurt and grief in this world without imposing more upon someone.

My faith in God did at one point time falter somewhere between my husband walking out on our family and the beating I got. I really questioned the existence of God. But when my wreck happened and my children were hurt like as badly as they were , my faith was renewed.

I would never intentionally want to hurt anyone with my faith and belief in God. I wish I could change and take away everyone's hurt.
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: charlesafather on July 07, 2008, 04:02:00 PM
I am not to god at chating but would be willing to try after 8 pm central would work best for me thank you

                                           charles
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: charlesafather on July 25, 2008, 06:31:09 AM
trying to add picture
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: rita-grammy on October 02, 2008, 07:25:04 AM
I also do agree with Dena. I can't understand why anyone would verbally attack anyone on this site, I have so much help and caring from everyone and we are all going through the same pain and loss. Maybe different stages but, we are all in this together. I also say God bless but, I don't mean it in any way except with love and caring. I will start to be more careful of my words... I would not ever want to offend anyone going through so much pain.

Rita
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: addiesmom on December 10, 2008, 05:32:28 PM
i am in the chat now
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: addiesmom on December 15, 2008, 07:43:52 PM
   I am in the chat now...if anyone cares too talk.
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: Adams Brokenhearted Mama on December 17, 2008, 07:49:17 AM
I went to the chat room once and I was the only one. It would be nice to know that you can go there basically anytime and always find someone there.
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: sj1211 on January 04, 2009, 11:36:52 AM
Is the "chat" room working, because I get an error message for the past week or so. Thanks for assistance or advice
Sandy
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: sj1211 on January 04, 2009, 12:36:34 PM
oops, browsed around and answered my own question.  ;)
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: Goldie63 on January 25, 2009, 06:35:29 AM
Why is it that everytime that I clicked the chat bar so that I could talk to someone, it is always an error? I want so  much to talk with somebody about my pains of losing my sons through violence but there is no one to talk to. Please, is there somebody out there who have the same hurt feelings as I have? Please how can I go to the chatroom of this website? Are you sure this site is still working? Please tell me so. Thanks.

Goldie63
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: Brenda Taylors Mom on January 25, 2009, 03:49:03 PM
Goldie, I have been in there several times and only once so far have chatted with someone. I think ( I may be wrong) that when Tom posted that link you have to follow that link and not the one at the top of this page that says chat.. I would also love to chat with others.
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: rita-grammy on February 14, 2009, 02:37:34 PM
Missy
I am so sorry for your loss.. I know what you mean its just not the way things should be when you have to bury your child. Our pain is like no other and no one seems to understand. I lost an older brother when I was young. I lost both my parents about ten years ago to cancer yes, I did grief but, the pain was nothing compared to losing my daughter that just ripped my heart out and the pain just keeps coming its been almost seven months and the hurt is just as bad as it was when it first happened and no matter how old your child when they pass away they are still your baby,  I am so grateful I have this website and there are others who do understand that you cannot just get over it. 

I wish you peace and love
Rita
Title: Re: Setting up times to chat
Post by: sj1211 on February 15, 2009, 08:25:12 AM
I am signed in to chat, at 9:24 central time today (Feb. 15th, Sunday) I'll stay signed in for 30 minutes. Hope someone has time to join me.
Sandy
Title: HELP ME PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU ALL
Post by: jackiek on February 16, 2009, 05:29:18 PM
 >:( :(HELP ME PLEASE. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. I AM ALONE, NOONE IS HERE FOR ME IN PERSON. I HAVE NO FAMILY FRIENDS OR SPOUSE. MY FORMER THERAPIST DIDNT' EVEN CARE. HE WANTED ME TO KILL MYSELF. MY CURRENT THERAPIST IS SICKENED TO BE IN THE SAME PROFESSION AS SOMEONE WHO WANTED SOMEONE HURTING SO BAD THEY DID NOTHING AND ENCOURAGED THEM TO HURT THEMSELVES. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. MY LIVING SON DIDN'T KNOW HIS BROTHER AND MY MARRIAGE HAS BEEN OVER FOR YEARS. I AM INVISABLE .

HELP ME PLEASE

KYLE'S MAMA
JACKIEK
Title: Re: HELP ME PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU ALL
Post by: Adams Brokenhearted Mama on February 16, 2009, 05:50:16 PM
Something doesn't sound right here sweetie. No therapist would encourage you to commit suicide. Perhaps in your emotional state the message was perceived incorrectly. No one is invisible. You are not invisible. Grief can make you feel very alone. It is hard work to commit to finding the right mental health professionals. How about going to Hospice Care Network, they are free and do really good grief counseling?
Title: Re: HELP ME PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU ALL
Post by: Rebecca on February 16, 2009, 06:11:29 PM
U r crying out for help and the problem is that this is just a computer, we are people behind the screen but are not able to be there in the flesh for you.  Your last post sounded so desperate so my suggestion is that if you feel as badly as you write, you get yourself to a hospital and get admitted for immediate psyciatric help.  Life is bleak without our children but we all somehow, survive or there would be no parents left behind to remember our beautiful children.  Paula said it well, something doesn't sound right...I too cannot imagine a therapist suggesting suicide, but I can well understand someone hearing something completely different than that which was said.  If you have not been taking meds that are perscribed for you then your whole mental state is out of wack.  We all are grieving but those with additional mental issues cannot see clearly because of them.  We will write to you, we will keep in touch with you, but the bottom line is that we are fingers across keyboards and the real help is with a therapist or in a hospital.  If you take my advice, and once meds, etc. are stabilized, you will see everything in a different way.
Please consider other avenues.
Rebecca Jason's Mom
Title: Re: HELP ME PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU ALL
Post by: charlesafather on February 16, 2009, 09:02:55 PM
Jakie; know we care, but as rebecca said we are only on a computer we are people reaching out ourselves and offering our words, insperation and telling of our experances. you may find yourself a church there are people who care and you can develope good friends, also chech with your local hospitals there are a lot that offer fre councling services. i also read the yellow pages for different recorcesand most or at least our phone book has a goverment section that is a great place to find help in all aera' of ned. I pray you recive the friends and help yu ned in your difficult time.

                      my thoughts and prayers/charlesafather
i will be your friend.

http://www.freewebs.com/afathersson/
Title: Re: HELP ME PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU ALL
Post by: Dena on February 17, 2009, 03:15:45 AM
Jackie,

We all care here very much about you.  Please go to the nearest hospital so that they can help you. We can listen, but we can't provide the support & help you need right now and they can.  Therapists are there to provide help - maybe you heard him/her wrong.

Please keep in touch & let us know how you are.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: Rebecca on July 03, 2009, 06:52:34 PM
Did Tom give any insight about Paula and her situation.  Her latest is that her daughter was beaten up and did THC and heroin.  I am curious what his opinion as to how to address her posts is.  Thanks
Rebecca Jason's Mom
Title: Chat Room is Open
Post by: laurenE on July 06, 2009, 12:43:43 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://webhealing.com/forums/chat


Some of you will be able to access it with the button/chat icon on top of this page also.   It depends on what format you are using.  If you see a "Chat" button,  you are probably using the format called SMF.   If you dont see a chat button and only see an x, then you are using something else.   

If you want to try a new format,  or if you want to find out which format you are using,  here is how.



1. At the top of this page,  there are several buttons...  home, help,  search, admin, profile, calendar, logout.   
there is a button that says "profile".  Click on it.

2.  To the left,  there is a box that says Profile Info   and one that says Modify Profile.   

3.  Under Modify Profile, there is a sentence that says Look and Layout.  Click on that.

4.  You will see the word Current Theme in your profile box...  it will tell you which theme you are using  (for example,   mine says "Forum or  Board  Default)
 then there is the word "change" next to it.

5.   If you click on the word,   "change" ,  it will open up and list some options.   

6. On  SMF  "use this theme" click on it.  and then down at the bottem it will say "Change profile". 

This SMF format will  give you a chat room button to click on.  If you dont like this format,  then you can always use the link I provided at the top of this message and go back to the format you were using before.  Personally, I am an old dog who still likes the Forum or Board Default. 

If you need help,  send me  or Tom a private message.   
 
Title: Re: Chat Room is Open
Post by: Tom on July 12, 2009, 11:17:21 AM
The chat is now ""officially" open.  Lauren was a bit ahead of the curve but now it has been configured and the icon is in pace in the navigation bar at the top of the page.  Make sure you log onto the forums first and as soon as y ou are logged on click the chat icon and you will either go to the chat or be asked for a username password.  Enter the same username password you use to get onto the board you should be taken to the chat.  Use this thread to report problems and we will work them out as we go.

Tom

Title: Re: BOARD GUIDELINES
Post by: Terry on September 30, 2009, 05:15:25 PM
*to be revised by the members*




Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Sabrina66 on October 25, 2009, 08:49:01 AM
.
How do I set up a profile of my daughter who was murdered?
Title: Re: Tutorial - How to Use the Board Features
Post by: Terry on October 27, 2009, 05:48:24 PM
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your precious daughter. Please visit the Child Loss Board when you are able and introduce yourself. You will receive a lot of support.

This is the link to the 'Tutorials" on How-To's for every area of the Board, including pictures, and hope it helps.

http://webhealing.com/forums/index.php/topic,16.0.html (http://webhealing.com/forums/index.php/topic,16.0.html)


My Love,
Terry
Title: Re: Chat Room is Open
Post by: speedy1 on May 13, 2010, 07:32:03 PM
I'm really new to this. First time for me. My husband committed sucide on July 29 of this year, my mom died unexpectly on March 14th. my youngest daughter was killed Friday May 7th , I don't think I can do this much longer
Title: Re: Chat Room is Open
Post by: Tom on May 14, 2010, 07:26:57 AM
Hi Speedy -  Sounds like you have been inundated with loss.  Grief tends to be cumulative and can overwhelm us when we get too much.  You might want to start a thread on the main board.  Tell us your story.  Welcome.

Tom
Title: Board Info/Merged Topics
Post by: Dena on May 27, 2010, 10:32:22 AM
Hi Everyone,

As of today, we are going to make a change in moderators. Terry will be taking over as moderator for the child loss board.  I feel very confident that she will be a great source of support for everyone here.

I did a great deal of soul searching and came to realize that I cannot devote the amount to the board that is needed due to personal and career issues. My life has become so hectic!  But it is a good hectic - it keeps me busy.

I am so grateful to Tom and everyone here for the opportunity to moderate for as long as I have!  It has been a healing experience! Thank you for all of your support over the years!

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom
Title: Re: Moderator Changes....
Post by: Dena on May 27, 2010, 10:57:27 AM
(((Judy)))

Thank you!  I will still visit as often as I can!  You & Dougie are always close in my heart - as are all the parents & their Angels here!

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom
Title: Re: Moderator Changes....
Post by: Tom on May 27, 2010, 11:05:38 AM

Dena you have been such a wonderful loving presence and steward here on the board. I am so sad to see you go but trust you in knowing what is best.  I can't thank you enough for all you have done.  I don't even know how many years you have been doing this but I want to say thank you so much for all you have done.   Blessings to you!

Welcome to Terry!

Tom

Hi Everyone,

As of today, we are going to make a change in moderators. Terry will be taking over as moderator for the child loss board.  I feel very confident that she will be a great source of support for everyone here.

I did a great deal of soul searching and came to realize that I cannot devote the amount to the board that is needed due to personal and career issues. My life has become so hectic!  But it is a good hectic - it keeps me busy.

I am so grateful to Tom and everyone here for the opportunity to moderate for as long as I have!  It has been a healing experience! Thank you for all of your support over the years!

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom
Title: Re: Moderator Changes....
Post by: Rebecca on May 27, 2010, 11:15:53 AM
I an confident that while u may not be the moderator, you will still be here and jump in and out as you need and as we specifically need you.  I am thankful to have had you here and am very happy that you are a good busy with family and career. U deserve all that is good.  I am sure that your "replacement, Terry"  will do fine and I personally welcome her.  Please keep us posted and send pics of the grandchildren.
Rebecca Jason's Mom
Title: Board/Date Changes
Post by: Dena on May 27, 2010, 11:24:51 AM
Thanks everyone!

Tom, I am not sure myself how many years it has been - I am thinking since early winter of 2003?  I never really looked at it in terms of time before!

Rebecca - Work has me very busy these days - plus we are dealing with the empty nest once again.  Time for me & hubby to have some time together!  Terry has been here for a long time and I know that she is committed to keeping this board safe & supportive for all.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom
Title: Re: Moderator Changes....
Post by: Jeanneb on May 27, 2010, 12:57:39 PM
Dena,

Thank you for all you have done.  I wish you peace on your continued journey.  You have been a true blessing over the years.

Thanks again,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever
Bruce's sister
Title: Re: Moderator Changes....
Post by: Brenda Taylors Mom on May 27, 2010, 09:37:10 PM
(((( Dena))))) Thank you for all you have done, you were the first one to welcome me. I know Terry will do a fantastic job.. Love you and Josh.. Brenda
Title: Re: Moderator Changes....
Post by: Annie1973 on May 27, 2010, 11:23:57 PM
Dear Dena,

I'm really going to miss you, and miss seeing the shining face of Josh. Please know you take the best wishes and continuing prayers of everyone here as you take some new baby steps down another path. Thank you for all your love and compassion over the years.

Many blessings to you!
Annie (Dans mom)
Title: Re: Moderator Changes....
Post by: Dottie (Tammie's Mom) on May 28, 2010, 05:53:00 AM
Dena,

You will be missed.

I don't visit as often as I once did but you helped me so much on this journey grief.

Please do visit when you can and let us know how you are doing.

I know all of our Angels appreciate all you have done too.

HUGS,
Dottie Tammie's Mom
Title: A Message For All!
Post by: Terry on May 28, 2010, 01:46:51 PM
Hi All!

I just wanted to touch base with everyone to let you know that I will be moderating the Child Loss Forum.

Dena posted a message yesterday "Moderator Changes" for anyone who hasn't read it yet.

Dena has paved a smooth road for all who travel here, assuring that we were always safe and felt loved and cared for and I will be continuing where she has left off.

Her heart and her soul went into this special place and it was her kindness toward others and compassion that has always made everyone feel very welcome here.

You will be missed, Dena!

There will be no changes to the Child Loss Board and everything will continue as it has been.

This Board has been my second home and I feel the same as everyone here does, that we need to keep it a safe place and a comfortable place for all who post and read here.

If you should have any questions, concerns or suggestions, please feel free to contact me as soon as the need arises. I'll be more than happy to help in any way that I can.

I want you all to know, from the bottom of my heart that I am committed to keeping our forum the "safe haven" that it has always been!

Thanks for reading!

My love to all,
Terry
Title: Re: A Message For All!
Post by: Brenda Taylors Mom on May 28, 2010, 04:18:11 PM
 Terry, you will be a great replacement :) Dena has done a wonderful job and you will too :)
I know you are dedicated to this board and we're lucky to have you. Thank you for taking this one Terry !!!
Love to you
Bren
Title: Re: A Message For All!
Post by: Terry on May 28, 2010, 05:12:26 PM
Thank you so much for your support, Brenda! I really appreciate it!

I feel honored to be serving the parents of this board, this special place where "I" could come when no one else was there for me. I know how important it is to feel safe and to have my feelings accepted. They were, here. And, I'm forever grateful for all here who have supported me over the years.

We all suffer from one thing or another since our precious children died. I have PTSD but so do many parents, so I understand how hurtful certain words and phrases can be and how they can also cause a long term affect.
At the same time, I also understand how very important it is to be able to get all of our feelings out; feelings of anger, resentment, guilt and the anger also includes anger towards God. All of the emotions that we deal with while working very hard to live without our children.

I want everyone to feel comfortable being open with their feelings and if anyone is hesitant about doing so, a simple warning in the title will be sufficient.

We can't heal until we deal.

We are all so unique in our grief and at the same time, bonded due to being the same.

Much love to you, Bren and your precious "baby doll"
Terry
Title: Re: Moderator Changes....
Post by: Kathy on May 31, 2010, 08:26:01 AM
Dear Dena,

Thank you for all the compassion you have put into this board. You will be greatly missed, but never forgotten.

Love,
Kathy-Don's Mom
Title: Re: Moderator Changes....
Post by: Annette on June 02, 2010, 08:43:50 PM
Dear Dena,

I hope you will still come to the board and post as you have so much to offer. Thank you so very much for everything you've said and added on the board. I look forward to seeing you and Josh again. I always look forward to reading what you have to say!

Love and blessings,
Annette
Title: Re: A Message For All!
Post by: Annette on June 02, 2010, 08:52:04 PM
Thank you, Terry, for taking over the board! This board is a safe place where I can say what I need and want to say and where others accept me. You are a wonderful choice for a moderator, Terry! Good luck!

Love,
Annette
Title: Re: A Message For All!
Post by: Terry on June 03, 2010, 08:35:11 PM
Thanks so much, Annette! I really appreciate your support. I feel as you do regarding the need for a place to come where we can share all of our feelings. That is so very important.
I remember finding this board after my Jeff died. It was 3 in the morning and I was just lost. I googled or searched loss of a child and found webhealing and I was received so warmly. I will never forget that morning and the fact that I no longer felt so totally alone. I found a place to come! That was 7 years and 5.5 months ago. And, I remain grateful!

Much love to you with thoughts of your sweet Michael, always!
Terry
Title: Re: A Message For All!
Post by: Dearestangelbook on July 02, 2010, 06:08:37 PM
Are we allowed to talk about child loss due to abortion on here?  Thanks.
Title: Re: A Message For All!
Post by: Terry on July 02, 2010, 09:11:37 PM
Hi Dearestangelbook,

Yes. The child loss forum is for all who have lost a child, regardless of how they died. This is a safe place to come to share your feelings as opposed to on the 'outside' where 'how our children died' is at times, judged by others. Feel free to share your story as telling our story, connecting with our feelings is the only path to healing.

There are times when we need to share certain aspects of our grief that could be upsetting to read, by others. If this need should arise, a simple "Graphic" or "Sensitive" in the title line will be sufficient so that others can either choose to or choose not to read it.

Welcome to Webhealing!

Love,
Terry

Title: Re: A Message For All!
Post by: Adams Brokenhearted Mama on September 03, 2010, 06:01:16 AM
Terry-You have wisdom and a wonderful way with expressing yourself. The board will benefit from your presence as the new moderator.
XO Paula
Title: Re: A Message For All!
Post by: Terry on September 03, 2010, 01:46:42 PM
Paula,

Thank You for your support!

Holding you so close as Adam's Angel Date fast approaches.

((((((((Paula & Adam))))))))

With love,
Terry
Title: Birthdays & Angel Dates
Post by: Terry on September 05, 2010, 09:56:09 AM
Birthdays & Angel Dates

For those new to webhealing and to those who haven't yet posted them, feel free to post your Child's Birthday and Angel Day for all to read so they will be remembered for how special they all are.

We can feel so alone at times in our grief, as others over the years do not mention our children as they did earlier on and we all know how hurtful this can be.

I try to remember all of our children and I know the dates as they are posted either in Introductions or Birthdays & Angel Dates.

Out of respect for your grief, if for some reason you would not like to have your child remembered on the board here, please PM me with your child's name and your name and I will not post their dates. You owe me no explanation. I have received one request and I appreciate your honesty and always, respect your personal choices.

Your safety here on the board and respect for your personal path while grieving remains my #1 priority!

Much love to all,
Terry
Title: Board Changes - Please Read
Post by: Terry on October 03, 2010, 10:00:17 PM
This thread is open to all Webhealing board members!

Thank You to all who have responded regarding the different boards that you feel would better suit your grief and healing needs. It was important that we hear from you first before reaching this decision, as your comfort and safety is our main concern.

Starting next week, we will be adding three new boards to Webhealing; Spouse/Partner Loss, Mother/Father Loss and a board dedicated solely to Suicide. Regarding the Suicide board: we will be providing all members involved with information dedicated to ensuring a safe environment due to the sensitive nature of the content being shared.

In order to aid in creating these boards for our members, we would greatly appreciate any suggestions or ideas that you might have.

This thread will remain permanent for you to be able to continue to voice any concerns, feedback and suggestions on any of the boards. If you like the idea of the board changes but don't wish to post a response, a smiley will suffice! :) This would give us a thumbs up and would let us know that you are in agreement. Again, your comfort is our main concern.

Thank You so much for making Webhealing the warm and loving family that has been it's hallmark for over 15 years.

With Love & Respect,
Webhealing Staff
Title: Child Loss - board info
Post by: Terry on March 13, 2012, 12:37:11 PM

It has been brought to our attention that some of our members have the desire for a private board. They have expressed the need to keep their sharing of sensitive information available to only other members of webhealing. It is an option that we're considering in order to ensure your privacy and the extra security if there is enough interest.

Please let us know how you feel about this!

Thanks,
Webhealing Team
Title: Re: Board info
Post by: AC Mom on March 13, 2012, 01:17:14 PM
The board is already set up, that people can only read if they aren't logged in.  Wanting a message base to be totally private is getting real popular on Facebook.   If people want total privacy, let them use facebook.   

I think we probably have numerous readers, that never register, because, they don't want to talk, they just want to read and realize they are not alone in their feelings.

That is the reason for this board, is to help people, not keep them out.

You have private mail too.
Title: Re: Board info
Post by: SarahW on March 13, 2012, 04:33:46 PM
The board is already set up, that people can only read if they aren't logged in.  Wanting a message base to be totally private is getting real popular on Facebook.   If people want total privacy, let them use facebook.   

I think we probably have numerous readers, that never register, because, they don't want to talk, they just want to read and realize they are not alone in their feelings.

That is the reason for this board, is to help people, not keep them out.

You have private mail too.


Without knowing why this was asked for, I tend to agree . . . the board is meant for sharing and for others to be able to read and know they aren't alone.
Title: Re: Board info
Post by: Terry on March 13, 2012, 04:51:27 PM
Hi!

The contents of the message on the Main board is slightly different from the original topic, posted here on the child loss board. We're asking the question and the reason was stated:

"It has been brought to our attention that some of our members have the desire for a private board. They have expressed the need to keep their sharing of sensitive information available to only other members of webhealing."

This statement/question above is posted in this thread.

Love,
Terry
Title: Re: Board info
Post by: Terry on March 14, 2012, 02:00:44 AM
For Peggy & Sarah,

I apologize for the confusion regarding these topics. The topic that was originally responded to was meant for Spouse Loss, Parent Loss, and Sibling Loss only. I have moved the responses to the appropriate thread and if you wish to Modify/Edit, or leave it as is, please feel free.

Thank You,
Love,
Terry
Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: Landons Mom Shelly on March 21, 2012, 08:58:44 PM
Hi Terry!! Long time no see!

Well I for one would've REALLY hoped a private board was available at the time I first joined. After my ex hacked into my posts, I rarely posted anymore just knowing that everything I said was being read by him. But after being on Facebook and seeing what's going on some other grief groups, if someone really wants to get in, they'll manipulate their way in one way or another.  Well just my two cents!!
Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: lionness955 on March 22, 2012, 12:24:29 AM
I am kind of split on this, when I first came to WH I read through a lot of the post to see if this was the type of forum I was looking for.

On the other had I do think that a private board would be good. I find that when I post I restrict and edit what I say so that unwanted people cannot identify me.

I guess to sum it up a private board would be good and would feel more secure.
Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: rita-grammy on March 23, 2012, 06:26:40 AM
My concern would be how private can you make it? As sad as it sounds there are people who pray who those who are broken and how much more broken can you be when you lose your child? So it would have to really be monitored I think there are concerns ...just my thoughts on the matter ...

Rita
Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: SueH on March 23, 2012, 09:20:05 PM
I agree with Sarah W.... although I don't post here but once a year now if even that.. I think that for the newer people, this should remain just as it is...
People that want more privacy.. can get it in other ways.   I have to ask, how much more privacy does one need? I mean. here you do have private messages... what else? People can email others.. that's private?  so.. it doesn't make sense to change this board at all.....
Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: Terry on March 23, 2012, 10:28:10 PM

Hey Susie! Thanks!

I appreciate everyone's input as it's the only way we can serve all of our members. I see this basically like certain privacy settings on facebook. We can choose whether or not our next door neighbors can read the intimate details of our afternoon with a mutual friend, or any personal info for that matter because we have that option of allowing only who we want, to read on our page.

The boards wouldn't change. They would still be open to the public so everyone could still read the same as they have been. The request was for "a" private board (by child loss members) and those who choose would share on it. It's up to the members.

I was never on facebook a lot, although I have been on more lately as I miss you guys and really enjoy the social interaction. It was really the only reason I started a fb page. And, I'm glad that I can choose who can or cannot read the information I'm sharing with my friends!

Thanks again for popping over! :)

Love,
Terry

Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: Terry on March 23, 2012, 11:02:22 PM

Hi Rita!

My concern would be how private can you make it? As sad as it sounds there are people who pray who those who are broken and how much more broken can you be when you lose your child? So it would have to really be monitored I think there are concerns ...just my thoughts on the matter ...

Thanks for this question and I 'do' understand your concern. True that anyone can come onto the boards and we need to be on the 'look-out' as there are those that will prey on the suffering of others, although we haven't had a problem here for a long time. The few times that we did, and that was many years ago it was the members who found them out and then reported it. I think being sensitive to others when we're grieving also gives us that 'edge' of intuition, at times which can be helpful.

In regards to your other question: a private board would only be accessed by members who have a password. Similar to our chat room, which is now private and requires a password, also. That's working well.

Thanks, Rita for your input! I appreciate it and I hope I answered your questions.

Miss seeing Becca!

Love,
Terry
Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: Terry on March 23, 2012, 11:25:02 PM

Hi Missy and thanks for your input regarding a private board. I'm grateful that the members who were no longer posting, shared with me that it was a privacy concern. I would have never known, otherwise. So, I appreciate your sharing this in this thread where we need to hear from all of the members.

There are other ways, of course to keep information private and over the years, I have shared/offered this information on the board. I've been online probably half of my life and the first thing I learned was the Internet was the world-at-our-fingertips and just as we wouldn't give out our personal information to a stranger in the street, the same should apply when online. Especially if there are those who have privacy concerns.

Using a separate email address when registering for any account on the Internet would prevent someone from finding us, should they Google our email address. It should be different from the one we give out to our family and friends and this would ensure a certain amount of privacy. Not using our full birth name, would be another way to prevent someone from tracking our every move online. These are just a couple of ways to ensure our privacy.

I have a business website but it is only for use by my clients and it is password protected. I have had a blog for many years and it, too is set on private. It's all a matter of personal preference and the reason we need to hear from everyone regarding the desire to have one private board aside from the public board.

Thanks again, Missy!

Love,
Terry
Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: Terry on March 23, 2012, 11:41:34 PM
Hi Terry!! Long time no see!

Well I for one would've REALLY hoped a private board was available at the time I first joined. After my ex hacked into my posts, I rarely posted anymore just knowing that everything I said was being read by him. But after being on Facebook and seeing what's going on some other grief groups, if someone really wants to get in, they'll manipulate their way in one way or another.  Well just my two cents!!

Hey Shelly! I remember like it was yesterday when this happened to you here on the board. I felt so bad for you, having to deal with everything else, losing your precious Lan-Man and then this added stress.

I noticed on facebook that there are grief groups where anyone can read and comment and some of the posters (not all) haven't experienced a loss and I've read some pretty far-out things on there. I don't see a whole lot of sharing on those sites and probably for that reason. They choose to be public so they are leaving themselves open to anyone reading and also, commenting. So, basically they are also allowing themselves to be manipulated by others who really shouldn't be in there. I agree with that. They choose 'not' to be private.

I was never really one for the social networking sites and the only reason I got a facebook page was to stay in touch with you guys as I'm not the social butterfly that some are. :) I'm more a one-on-one gal! But, I 'do' enjoy the interaction and knowing how everyone's doing. I am also set on private and have probably 26 or 28 friends that I accepted. 22 are Mom's from this board. A few others are members from the Main board here and then, our Tom. That's it! That's how I like it!

Thanks so much for stopping over, Shelly and for your input. I appreciate it!

Love,
Terry
Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: Brenda Taylors Mom on April 05, 2012, 10:13:44 AM
Sorry to say I don't come here very often anymore. The first several years, it was life saving. I don't have a problem with the private message board just to some of the members. Everyone has their reasons. I am on facebook and have some of the people here on there and it works good. I quit coming because it seemed like Terry ( bless your heart) was the only one answering or replying to anything I wrote, and it looked like that way for many many of us. I don't know,,, it's ok by me.. sounds fine. I usually come here on Taylors angel date and his birthday which is this month... Thank you Terry.
Brenda
Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: Terry on April 11, 2012, 06:56:50 AM

Thanks for your input, Bren. I appreciate it. Yes, a lot of our Mom's are on Facebook although I find when they need to share about their children, they 'do' come onto the board. I'm always glad to see that.
I remember when we came here, shortly after losing our children and were received warmly. And, it saddens me that our new members are not and the reason they don't stay very long. Most of our members are a long time into this journey and they have shared that they have nothing to offer. I remember that post about three or four years ago asking why more do not share and it really did get a lot of responses and all were very open about their reasons. But, we all move forward. That's just life.

I do understand and true, we all have our reasons.

Love to you Bren and thoughts of your "Baby Doll" Tay this month!

Love,
Terry
Title: Re: Child Loss - board info
Post by: Terry on April 24, 2012, 08:21:18 PM

I spoke with Annette, Michael's Momma on facebook and she approves of a private board.

Thank You, Annette for your input!

Love,
Terry
Title: Re: HELP ME PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU ALL
Post by: Terry on August 11, 2015, 11:26:08 AM
CubelesqueCed - This is a grief and healing site and not a writer's club or a learning platform for web design.

Thank You,
Terry
Moderator