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Crisis, Grief, and Healing => Child Loss => Topic started by: Rebecca on February 19, 2007, 11:22:55 AM
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Seeing my son, Jason's name on a monument stone, knowing what the wording would be, hearing the Rabbi speak of him made me cry, not the same kind of screaming cry as at the funeral but a more calm, just tears flowing down and down, large ones, kept on coming. I did hear a few strange sounds coming from me but I let it all just come. The stone and all the writing is beautiful and his friends said he would have approved. I still can't help saying, why does he have to approve. Why is he not here with us? But I am not alone, you all feel the same way and maybe, as the years go by and by, there will come a stronger peace. Right now, the pain just hurts and hurts. I got a email that another of his friends just had a baby. He should be having them. Well, enough of this. Thank you all for your concern and caring as we, my family and I went through this tribute.
Rebecca Jason's Mom
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Rebecca,
I'm glad that you have this behind you. I know how hard this was and somehow seeing their name on the stone, well even after 3.5 years I still find it so very hard. I'm not one who goes to the cemetary. I find it still very hard for me, I just don't like seeing his name, it just isn't right.
One of Philip's best buddies is getting married in a couple of weeks. I can't even comprehend that. I will go cause Josh wants me there but I'm not sure what to expect from myself.
It is just so darn hard.
Love and hugs,
Jeanne
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Peace and love...
Lori, Alex's mom
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Rebecca - so hard seeing their names in stone and that will just never be anything but wrong feeling..way too permanent somehow... in the beginning when Chris' stone was placed it was a place to go to talk to him.. to lay flowers, and little things we thought he would like and momentos on special days.. while it is still all of that.. I guess for me it has changed.. I guess I feel Chris more in my heart and feel like he is with me in a different way now.. so I don't feel the need to go there to be near him as I did at first.. don't know if that makes any sense...
I am glad you were surrounded by family and friends.. and know that I care.. and I think Jason was there holding you all the time..
luv and hugs, Karen
(http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y47/crispy16/208r_andrw.jpg)
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Rebecca I am so glad that the stone turned out so beautiful and that you and your husband made it thru that trying ceremony. I know I broke down when I first saw Donny's headstone in place. I am sure Josh is happy with it. But yes he should be here.