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Main / Re: Difficult Father's Day..........
« on: July 06, 2010, 06:02:33 AM »
Thanks emix7 and Elsie. I appreciate the kind words.
Hi Ike. I visited a local counseling center - Seasons Grief Center in Metairie, but they do not have any groups for sons who have lost fathers or fathers who have lost sons. I may go on meetup.com and start one.
Hi Ike. I visited a local counseling center - Seasons Grief Center in Metairie, but they do not have any groups for sons who have lost fathers or fathers who have lost sons. I may go on meetup.com and start one.
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Main / Re: Grief has over taken my life
« on: July 02, 2010, 11:54:00 AM »
I am very sorry for your loss Hope,
I have lost my Dad and also my best friend in the last few years and found this site very recently. I think you will find some comfort here. The only thing I can say is to REACH OUT to people, like you are doing here. Share thoughts and stories with people who knew your wife. And the people on this site know somewhat what you are going through. That's why they are here also.
Talking about someone you have lost is something that really really helps.
And be open to signs of her around. It is real. If you think you feel her or something reminds you of her, it is her.
Take care,
Bill
I have lost my Dad and also my best friend in the last few years and found this site very recently. I think you will find some comfort here. The only thing I can say is to REACH OUT to people, like you are doing here. Share thoughts and stories with people who knew your wife. And the people on this site know somewhat what you are going through. That's why they are here also.
Talking about someone you have lost is something that really really helps.
And be open to signs of her around. It is real. If you think you feel her or something reminds you of her, it is her.
Take care,
Bill
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Main / Re: Three Yrs.
« on: July 02, 2010, 06:38:37 AM »
Lost, Tom is right when he says grief is sneaky. I was innocently watching some youtube videos a few weeks ago about fathers returning from the middle east and surprising their sons, and it dredged up a lot of emotion and memory about my dad, who passed away 3 1/2 years ago. That, coupled with my parents' anniversary and Father's Day, and I had to endure a new wave of guilt and grief.
I got through it by talking to dad, crying, and daydreaming. Sometimes when people say 'remember the good times,' that makes it sadder for me. I have felt much better the last week though. I am glad I found this site. Although I am a 'newbie,' it has really helped me.
My sympathies for you sir. Take care,
Bill
I got through it by talking to dad, crying, and daydreaming. Sometimes when people say 'remember the good times,' that makes it sadder for me. I have felt much better the last week though. I am glad I found this site. Although I am a 'newbie,' it has really helped me.
My sympathies for you sir. Take care,
Bill
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Main / Re: Where is everyone from?
« on: June 29, 2010, 06:54:51 AM »
Hello everyone.
I live in River Ridge, a suburb of New Orleans.
I live in River Ridge, a suburb of New Orleans.
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Child Loss / Re: Is there ANY way at all for a gathering of friends here?
« on: June 28, 2010, 05:56:28 PM »
Would love to correspond and/or meet with other sons who have lost fathers or fathers who have lost sons, and anybody else.
Bill
Bill
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Child Loss / Re: Where is everyone from?
« on: June 28, 2010, 05:54:09 PM »
River Ridge (suburb of New Orleans)
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Child Loss / Re: You Never Know When the Arrow of Pain Will Hit
« on: June 28, 2010, 05:51:21 PM »
Don and Greg,
Sorry I just saw your posts of last year about your sons, and it got to me. My Dad didn't get to see his Saints win the Super Bowl several months ago, and we thought about how he would have reacted. Even though he died 3 years ago, I recently missed him terribly (anniversary, Father's Day, etc.)
I fondly remember going with him to Saints and Tiger games.
I miss you Dad.
Sorry I just saw your posts of last year about your sons, and it got to me. My Dad didn't get to see his Saints win the Super Bowl several months ago, and we thought about how he would have reacted. Even though he died 3 years ago, I recently missed him terribly (anniversary, Father's Day, etc.)
I fondly remember going with him to Saints and Tiger games.
I miss you Dad.
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Main / Re: Difficult Father's Day..........
« on: June 28, 2010, 05:33:50 PM »
Thanks Ike. Appreciate your kind and sympathetic words. I called a local center - Season's Grief Center in Metairie, but they told me they don't have a men's group, or a delayed unresolved father grief group, so maybe we can get something started on here. I need some kind of role model or group.
Bill
Bill
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Child Loss / Re: Feeling Totally Useless and a Burden
« on: June 24, 2010, 02:56:33 PM »
Don,
I give you sincere heartfelt condolences and "Dad Hugs" on the loss of your wonderful son. I lost my Dad 3 1/2 years ago on Oct. 28 2006 due to lung cancer; and I recently suffered an unforseen feeling of delayed grief and tremendous guilt.
I grieve more for what might have been with my Dad, and how I never got to have that final talk with him. People tell me to remember the good times, but when I do, I cry.
Last week I accidentally saw some videos on youtube about a sailors and soldiers returning home to their families, and especially, their young sons, and it got to me.
Father's day was very hard, as I'm sure it must have been for you.
I have a suggestion. PLEASE forgive me if I am out of line. But try to get your health back under control through exercise. It may be hard at first, but after a while you will feel better and better. Just imagine Donny next to you, egging you on
Exercise is the BEST DRUG ON THE PLANET.
And please just pour yourself into the love you have for your family who are still with you. They want you around, and I'm sure Donny would do.
I wish I could put my arm around your shoulder and shed a few with you, you sound like a wonderful man and I know you were, and are a wonderful father.
Peace,
Bill
I give you sincere heartfelt condolences and "Dad Hugs" on the loss of your wonderful son. I lost my Dad 3 1/2 years ago on Oct. 28 2006 due to lung cancer; and I recently suffered an unforseen feeling of delayed grief and tremendous guilt.
I grieve more for what might have been with my Dad, and how I never got to have that final talk with him. People tell me to remember the good times, but when I do, I cry.
Last week I accidentally saw some videos on youtube about a sailors and soldiers returning home to their families, and especially, their young sons, and it got to me.
Father's day was very hard, as I'm sure it must have been for you.
I have a suggestion. PLEASE forgive me if I am out of line. But try to get your health back under control through exercise. It may be hard at first, but after a while you will feel better and better. Just imagine Donny next to you, egging you on
Exercise is the BEST DRUG ON THE PLANET.
And please just pour yourself into the love you have for your family who are still with you. They want you around, and I'm sure Donny would do.
I wish I could put my arm around your shoulder and shed a few with you, you sound like a wonderful man and I know you were, and are a wonderful father.
Peace,
Bill
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Main / Re: Where is justice?
« on: June 24, 2010, 09:43:00 AM »
Jaxsaint I have been reluctant to reply to you up til now but I just had to convey my absolute heartfelt condolences on the passing of your wonderful husband; and also what you had to go through yesterday. From your story I can only muster the bare minimum of sympathy myself for the man who did this, if any. He made the decision to do what he did, he's got to live with it.
IMO alcohol should be used in moderation (holidays, special occasions.) People who turn to it as a crutch or way of life are ruining their lives, and others. I get disgusted when it is described as a "disease." People with diabetes don't kill people with cars.
Cigarettes are not as bad, but they did kill my Dad (I had a very bad week last week as I experienced painful delayed grief and guilt - even though my Dad passed 3 1/2 years ago.
I wish you a soulful and hopeful gradual readjustment to life and if there is anything I can do, just write.
Bill
IMO alcohol should be used in moderation (holidays, special occasions.) People who turn to it as a crutch or way of life are ruining their lives, and others. I get disgusted when it is described as a "disease." People with diabetes don't kill people with cars.
Cigarettes are not as bad, but they did kill my Dad (I had a very bad week last week as I experienced painful delayed grief and guilt - even though my Dad passed 3 1/2 years ago.
I wish you a soulful and hopeful gradual readjustment to life and if there is anything I can do, just write.
Bill
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Main / Re: Difficult Father's Day..........
« on: June 23, 2010, 07:43:48 AM »
Are there any other guys on here who have lost their dads also (whether recently or in the past), or fathers who have lost their sons? who would like to talk, share memories, offer suggestions? It would help a lot.....
Bill
Bill
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Main / Re: My Brother died 3 years ago...Arent I supposed to get angry
« on: June 23, 2010, 07:38:47 AM »
I am so sorry for your loss. Though I never had a brother (3 sisters), I know how I would have felt at losing one.
I am going through something similar in that I lost my Dad 3 1/2 years ago and just last week experienced a profound wave of guilt and grief.
I have since been looking at topics concerning 'delayed grief' or 'unresolved grief.'
I too was never really 'angry,' just sad about what might have been or should have been; thus really painful guilt.
I don't think ANYTHING is 'normal' when you have lost a loved one. I lost my best friend in 2001, and still miss him, but I try to focus on good memories, for him and my Dad.
One of your goals should be to keep your brother in your heart and honor him always (as well as talk to him, he is still with you), while simultaneously REACHING OUT to people and going on with enjoying life. That's what I'm trying to do after suddenly feeling lost without my Dad after 3 1/2 years.
I am going through something similar in that I lost my Dad 3 1/2 years ago and just last week experienced a profound wave of guilt and grief.
I have since been looking at topics concerning 'delayed grief' or 'unresolved grief.'
I too was never really 'angry,' just sad about what might have been or should have been; thus really painful guilt.
I don't think ANYTHING is 'normal' when you have lost a loved one. I lost my best friend in 2001, and still miss him, but I try to focus on good memories, for him and my Dad.
One of your goals should be to keep your brother in your heart and honor him always (as well as talk to him, he is still with you), while simultaneously REACHING OUT to people and going on with enjoying life. That's what I'm trying to do after suddenly feeling lost without my Dad after 3 1/2 years.
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Main / Re: Difficult Father's Day..........
« on: June 22, 2010, 03:12:08 AM »
Ike,
God bless you man. Thank you very very much for your thoughts. I know Sunday must have been very hard for you as well. A son losing his father is worse than many can imagine. These unexpected memories and waves hit me like a ton of bricks first after the Super Bowl, then last week with my parents' wedding anniversary on the 15th, and then seeing those father and son reunion videos on youtube. Man, I wish there was some support group for men who have lost their fathers and have unresolved or delayed guilt and grief. I admit I am a guy who gets emotional, but I don't apologize for it. Thank God for this site. Hopefully I can give others words of encouragement as well.
Bill
God bless you man. Thank you very very much for your thoughts. I know Sunday must have been very hard for you as well. A son losing his father is worse than many can imagine. These unexpected memories and waves hit me like a ton of bricks first after the Super Bowl, then last week with my parents' wedding anniversary on the 15th, and then seeing those father and son reunion videos on youtube. Man, I wish there was some support group for men who have lost their fathers and have unresolved or delayed guilt and grief. I admit I am a guy who gets emotional, but I don't apologize for it. Thank God for this site. Hopefully I can give others words of encouragement as well.
Bill
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Main / Re: Difficult Father's Day..........
« on: June 22, 2010, 02:55:52 AM »
Lauren,
Thank you very very much for the kind words. I am grateful to find such a wonderful site. It's kinda funny how we can connect on a forum like this, but people don't know what to say in person. Thanks...
Too young,
Thank you also. I am so sorry about the loss of your husband.
Bill
Thank you very very much for the kind words. I am grateful to find such a wonderful site. It's kinda funny how we can connect on a forum like this, but people don't know what to say in person. Thanks...
Too young,
Thank you also. I am so sorry about the loss of your husband.
Bill
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Main / Re: All gone...
« on: June 22, 2010, 02:44:41 AM »
Fireball,
Stop blarming yourself. It wasn't your fault. Let yourself off the hook.
Do you see how many people here care? This says something about you as a
person. It was not your fault. Guilt is something people create when loved ones
pass. It is needless. Please let people in.
B
Stop blarming yourself. It wasn't your fault. Let yourself off the hook.
Do you see how many people here care? This says something about you as a
person. It was not your fault. Guilt is something people create when loved ones
pass. It is needless. Please let people in.
B
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