I found this, and it sounds sensible. Trying to be all things to all people is a project destined for failure. That's for sure.
Some of the unconscious negative driving forces in life.
""Some Unconscious Drivers
•Guilt
Many people are trapped in the past. They regret things that happened long ago and imagine that other people who were involved feel angry towards them. Unconsciously, they might believe that as they are guilty of some wrongdoing, they deserve to be punished and therefore they refuse to allow good things into their lives. There is a solution. Make amends. Write to the people or person involved and apologise. The chances are they will have forgotten all about it anyway. Make peace and let it go. Look to this day, the present is guilt-free and happy!
•Approval.
Also known as people-pleasing, trying to please everyone, from parents, siblings and partners to friends, is not only exhausting, but impossible. When people are controlled by the need to be liked and have the approval of everyone, they lose sight of themselves. They forget their true purpose. They may be so busy being everyone else’s best friend that they are not a friend to themselves. Here the solutions lie in letting go of the need to be perfect and recognising personal authentic strengths. The more personal acceptance , the less reliance on the good opinion of others. The less striving to be the perfect wife, husband, mother, father, employee, son, daughter or friend, the more enjoyable life can be. Ongoing approval-seeking can create resentment towards others, whereas once a balance has been found, relationships become more harmonious and natural.""
In his book, The Purpose Driven Life, Rich Warren asks some very good questions. For example: "what would your friends and family say is the driving force of your life? What do you want it to be?"
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