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Messages - browneyedgirl

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1
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Trying to communicats
« on: April 04, 2019, 11:09:25 PM »
Dear Dannyswife - first and foremost I am so very sorry for the lost of your Danny.  My heart hurts for you and your loss. 

I, too, am so very sorry that you feel this way.  I urge you to come back and perhaps read some old threads.....as really the purpose, to me, of the Boards is to share our experiences and feelings for others to read and perhaps relate to, so that we know that what we are feeling isn't out of the ordinary, or strange, or uncommon.  Grief is as unique as the person that is experiencing it.  My guess is that you're VERY hurt, and maybe confused on how you're supposed to go on without your Danny - as that is the way I feel....how do I just go on living as if he was never here, as if life with him didn't exist.....please be patient with yourself, as well as other memebers...we are all on this journey together and many for the first time, and it really is as the saying goes....one day at a time.  They say you don't "get over it" you just learn to live with it.....at this point for me....learning to live with it is a poor solution to what I am going thru...but again, I just take it one day at a time....sending love and light...

2
Spouse, Partner Loss / My boyfriend died
« on: April 04, 2019, 10:56:10 PM »
Hello All....for those of you that do not know me, I came to Webhealing almost exactly 10 years ago when my brother, Tony died.  Webehaling was a life saver for me, and there were/are so many loving, caring people here who understand what you're going thru.  I became very active on the Boards, and was a Moderator for a time.  Then I felt as though it was time for me to "fly away" from Webhealing, and there were also many changes in my life.

I would read the Spouse Loss Board, and my heart would hurt so badly for those who had lost the love of their lives, and just could not imagine the intense pain their hearts must feel.....the 'Spouse Loss Board always got to me, I would read of the beautiful love that these people shared, and to have to taken away, was just the most awful feeling I could imagine.....well, it is with a heavy heart that I return to Webhealing after my boyfriend, Phil, took his life on December 11, 2018. 

This is without a doubt the most awful pain I have ever felt, and I am convinced that after this, NOTHING will ever be able to hurt me again, as this feels like the ultimate hurt.  I feel as though someone is punishing me, what did I do to deserve this pain, this event in my life?  My life has little meaning, no direction, and I hardly smile anymore.  I wake up each day, hoping to feel better, but the hurt never eases.....we were supposed to do great things together, grow old together, this was not how our story was supposed to end.  The thought that I will not be able to hold his hand, kiss his face, look in his eyes anymore kills me.  Phil was truly my greatest love, and even if I knew I would loose him in the end, I would do it all over again.....he was the greatest man to ever touch my life, he taught me so much, his words of encouragement kept me going, and if I had to describe him in one word it would be LOYAL.  Never in my life, have I had a man show me such loyalty....I consider it an honor to be the recipient of his love, and I will cherish it in my heart forever.  I miss him every second of every day, and I just don't know how to pick up the pieces....will I ever love again?  Maybe...but not like the love we had.  Pam and Phil, Phil and Pam the greatest story of true love and fate yet to be told...he used to say that all the time....lol

I am so sorry that any of us have to be here, but it helps to know that there are others that know how we feel....even though I would never, ever, ever, wish this upon anyone.....I know that death is a part of life, I get that....but to have my best friend, my partner, my love, my life, die so soon, it just stinks.  My hope is that someday I can "rejoin" the world, because I feel as though I have just like checked out.  Some say I am wrapping myself in a warm blanket of self pity - and I can't understand why one would say that to me, but I really try to block that out.....

thank you for reading.... 

3
Sibling Loss / Re: BAD DAY!!
« on: January 22, 2014, 05:42:54 PM »
Welcome to Webhealing.  I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister.  I lost my brother, almost 5 years ago.  AS you can see, you have come to the right place.  There are many loving people here who truly care about one another.

We are all here for you...post as often as you like, about whatever you like.

Welcome, again. 

Take care.

4
Sibling Loss / Re: Separation & Divorce
« on: January 22, 2014, 05:33:23 PM »
(((Helene))))

I always knew you were a strong person.  Hang in there, ok? :engel2:

5
Parent Loss / Re: Loss of loved ones
« on: January 22, 2014, 05:32:13 PM »
((((Lee))))
Welcome to Webhealing...I am sorry you have to be here, I am very sorry for the losses that you have suffered.  I, too, lost my brother, just almost 5 years now. 

You have come to the right place.  Please feel free to browse other Boards.

Welcome, again, and know that we are here for you.  :engel2:

6
Sibling Loss / Re: So numb with pain
« on: December 31, 2013, 05:46:29 PM »
(((((Gail)))))))
Thinking of you and holding you close.

7
Sibling Loss / Re: Happy Birthday, Scott!
« on: December 31, 2013, 05:45:50 PM »
 :occasion13:

8
Sibling Loss / Re: Wishing you all...
« on: December 31, 2013, 05:45:24 PM »
((((Doug))))) we are always progressing whether we realize it or not. Prayers for your step father.

9
Sibling Loss / Re: Now . . . not sad enough?!
« on: December 31, 2013, 05:43:28 PM »
((((((Scott)))))))  :engel2:

10
Sibling Loss / Re: 5 years ago and really hurting right now
« on: December 31, 2013, 05:43:00 PM »
((((Gail)))))

11
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Robert's Angel Date ((Ann)) stampingwidow
« on: December 10, 2013, 08:23:06 PM »
((((Ann))))

 :engel2:

12
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: New Member. Getting Lonely
« on: December 10, 2013, 08:19:32 PM »
Welcome, Robbie.  I am so very sorry for the loss of your wife, Ann.  As you can see you have come to the right place.  We are here for you, and we all care. 

I am so very sorry, again, for your loss.  :engel2:

13
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Beni's Angel Date ((Jean))
« on: December 09, 2013, 08:47:16 PM »
(((Jean))))   :engel2:  Thinking of you and your Beni.

14
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Beni's Birthday ((((Jean))))
« on: December 03, 2013, 09:42:56 PM »
((((Jean)))  Thinking of you and your family.  Very sorry for the late posting.   :engel2:

15
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Missing Judy..
« on: December 03, 2013, 09:42:11 PM »
((((Dave))))  Hang in there......  :engel2:

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