Been a very rough Christmas. First without my sweet mama. My family got together and I went. But for the first time felt like an outsider with my family. Which my family has been very cold to me since losing mom. I was the one with her and couldn't get her to the hospital in time. So there is lots of blame floating around. I thought us all getting together might help. I was on the road 4 hours that day to be with them. And to boot not one mention of my mom which I felt was wrong. It would have hurt but really. My mom and I always loved Christmas. The lights, trees and decorations and shopping. We did a lot of this together. I wasn't going to put up my tree but I did get that done, but that's all. So as much as I love Christmas I'm just glad it's over. Sad to say that. I waited till last minute to do shopping and such and then tried to cram it all in the last week.. major stress.. so glad this forum is here. God Bless who started it and keeps it up and running for us all.