Author Topic: 7 months  (Read 29 times)


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7 months
« on: November 14, 2017, 02:36:37 PM »
Yesterday was 7 months since Jim has been gone.  I am wondering if this EVER gets easier?  I have added so many new activities into my daily routine and there are still so many hours left in the day.  I am ALWAYS thinking about Jim and no matter what I do, I feel so sad.  This is mentally and physically exhausting - the face you put on for everyone else so that they aren't "uncomfortable" and then the real "you" when you're alone.  The saddest part is that if I ever had a problem or was stressed about anything, Jim was the person that I turned to.  He and I talked about pretty much everything...we didn't always agree but we were good sounding boards for each other.  I want to talk to him now so that he can help me understand this but he's gone.  I have good people in my life but no one that comes close to understanding what I have lost with Jim's passing. He was my best friend and I miss him so much.
Sometimes, I find it hard to believe that 7 months have already gone by but then I look at it day by day and this has been the longest 7 months of my life.  I wonder if the rest of my life is going to feel like this?  Only 7 months but I have already had so many firsts - Easter, my birthday, our wedding anniversary, Jim's 60th birthday, all our children's birthdays, our grandchildren's birthdays, Thanksgiving, Halloween.  All without Jim. The problem is that we celebrated so many everyday moments in life that I just can't escape.  I am grateful to have so many wonderful memories but that makes EVERYTHING that happens a "first" without Jim. It is overwhelming. 
I know everyone says to take good care of yourself but how on earth do you sit down and eat a meal all by yourself?  I have tried to eat better, tried different rooms, tried everything.  I don't see the point in cooking for myself and then throwing it away because it feels lonely.  I know I have to get past this but I don't know how.
Just having a bad couple of days....


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Re: 7 months
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2017, 03:29:10 PM »
Hi Raven,

I don't think it ever feels like it's getting easier especially when we lose someone we love so much. It's a rough road, this grieving. And, I agree with you that it is both mentally and physically exhausting.
Seven months is still very early grief. I don't think the shock really wears off that soon. Try to be patient with you. Your heart, your soul and your body has taken a beating. Jim was so important to you and such a big part of your life. Those harden feelings of great loss don't soften overnight. One day the pain won't sting as badly as it does now and you'll even smile sharing stories about him. For now, take care of you the best you can and know that the pain you're feeling is the result of your love for Jim. We just can't have one without the other.


"One thing I've learned on this journey (it's been a year and a few days since my husband, Tom, died of cancer), is that in the beginning, there is a lot of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back shuffle." - RobinBlue - Spouse Loss