Author Topic: Who do I turn to?  (Read 142 times)

BigfootsDaughter

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Who do I turn to?
« on: May 23, 2017, 12:09:06 PM »
My mother was the victim of vehicular manslaughter when I was 4. I'm  22, and I've never really dealt with that loss because my step mother would get angry any time I would mention my mother, and would even call me a "selfish bitch" for ruining her love life, when I was only 7.
My father was murdered recently and more, I have no one to turn to, and the realization that I am an orphan is crushing. My extended family lives thousands of miles away, and my fiance doesn't know how to deal with this, and help me. I'm  at a loss, as to where I should turn. He was my rock and he always had my back. He was on life support, and I had to watch him die after I took him off of it. Its what he wanted. I know this because my father also had terminal cancer and we discussed his wishes.... These people took my father's last three months from him, and tried to make it look like an accident. They migh even get away with it even though the evidence says otherwise, and the guy bragged to his friends about it..   Its so fucked up. I can't get anyone to call me back about his investigation, even though I'm his next of kin.
When I got on the plane to go to him,I didn't know I would be saying goodbye. I thought he would pull through... But they beat him to death... He died that night. When I got there the next day ... They broke the strongest maneI've ever known
I'm dying
I keep replaying when his heart started to stop, he was in a coma yet still pulled me closer before he died
It was too much
I ran
I'm still running... 

Lacemaker

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Re: Who do I turn to?
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2017, 07:26:08 PM »
 Dear BigfootsDaughter,
                                    I'm so glad you have found this group to reach out to. We may not have all the answers. But sometimes we have had similar feelings. And sometimes just knowing somebody else has felt the same pain and is here to try and help or listen means the world. I'm so sorry for both of your tragic losses. I can't even imagine losing someone that way. But I do understand the deep pain of watching a parent die before your eyes and feeling like all you want to do is run away and keep running.  Different circumstances but I to watched a parent die before my eyes. And I keep replaying those last moments all of the time. Especially during the night in nightmares. I can't help you with answers on why you can't get answers on your fathers case. But I can be here to listen and try and help if I can. I usually check in on here every night. Hang in there and if you can try to find a grief support group to go to if there is any in your area that to might help. my husband also don't know how to help me with my loss either. So I understand feeling like you are all alone and no one to listen.