People don't know how to deal with us, the grieving. Our feelings are intense and daily. It's not like other problems that resolve in a matter of days or weeks. I think people are truly at a great loss to imagine what could possibly help or what to say. I have no answers as to why people can't deal with our pain. I guess it might be too painful for them. Although, I agree, it's no excuse. Have you thought about a grief recovery group?
My deepest sympathy on the loss of your dear wife. I lost my husband of 40 years in October. We were also together since our teen years. High School Sweethearts. It's really tough, I know.