Like you, Carol, I found this to be the place that allowed me to survive and to live again.And yes,mas you say, with time we learn to live with that pain. I find that when I'm entering into new events, passing milestones, there's a resurgence of sadness and tears. For happy joyful events! We're in the process of buying a beach house, and I find myself weepy, knowing how much the boys would have loved being there with us and with their sister's little kids. For me it's 17 years since my Jimmy died in a car accident at the age of 21 and eight years later his older brother ended his life in suicide, age 31. I talk to my boys everyday. We all find ways to keep them present. The grandkids talk about uncle Jimmy angel and uncle Tommy angel. And they smile.