I don't have a purpose anymore...

[QueenOfAnxiety]

HI, my name is Kiana, and I am 20, on August 15 2015 my mother passed away from an overdose... My life since it has happened i feel as if there is no meaning...
My mom was sick most of my teenage life, and I took on the responsibility to care for her, she was my purpose i focused my entire life on her and now that she is gone, I am stuck and numb...
Will the feeling ever end?

[Terry]

Hi Kiana,

I'm so sorry to read about your Mother's death. It's a great responsibility but also a labor of love to care for someone who needs help and certainly takes a very special and selfless person, as you seem to be.

Welcome to Webhealing. I'm glad you found us and thank you for sharing your story.

We all grieve differently in the time-frame sense so there is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is also no time limit to grief. But if you feel that you can't move forward and that your life has little meaning now or the pain seems to be getting more difficult I would suggest counseling. Or maybe talking with your local pastor or priest...anyone you feel safe with. And of course you are safe here.

Sending you hugs ((((((Kiana)))))

[QueenOfAnxiety]

Terry
I appreciate that, and i have looked into counseling but I am scared.

[Terry]

Kiana,

I understand. Your Mom's one year Angel Date is coming up in just a month and I will share with you how these dates and 'any' of my loved ones special dates can feel like I'm being swallowed whole. The grief bursts come on strong with every memory and we all have so many.
A year is a short amount of time when we're grieving a great loss. I try to remember that I loved for a lifetime and for me to expect the pain to just subside after a short time is not being realistic and I'm also not being fair to myself, to my heart. I remind myself of that fact often.
The pain is the price we pay for the person physically gone from our lives.

I journal and it's always helped me. I also posted on these boards until my fingers were sore, getting all of my feelings out and down and often I would reflect back by reading them after some time had passed.

Again, I understand.