I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through due to your brother's illness and also for the loss of your brothers. Feel everything you need to instead of fighting the pain, the grief because all that is involved when a loved one is nearing death and loved ones who have already passed is a part of the grief that must be felt in order to heal our hearts, eventually. I understand as I have buried all of my family. And my greatest losses were that of my three children.
These boards, this forum, Webhealing saved my life. I came on here everyday and poured my heart out to total strangers but we were bonded by our grief. I've made lifelong friends on these boards. And after many years I was able to 'give back' to help others who needed someone to just listen.
I'm here for you whenever you want to share, vent, cry....we're all on here for the same reason. Please keep me updated on your brother's condition. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.
Sending hugs and my love,