My son's father killed himself in April of 2015 and even though I was divorced from him for fifteen years, I'm still grieving my son's loss. I feel and fear for my son because he had to break down the door after he heard the gunshot.
He lives with me now and I watch him everyday knowing that he will need support. He has agreed to see a therapist so I will make sure he goes regularly.
For me, I find that writing is a way of release. Talking to other people in person and online helps me a lot too. I do my own grieving privately where I do my crying and mourning the loss of what could have been. I grieve for my son, I grieve for my ex-husband whose body was never truly healthy.
I ask my community for coaching (friends and family) but I don't call them when I know *I* have to do my private crying first. When I'm ready to move out of the grieving state, that's when I call someone so that I can create an empowering context for what I need to do next.
Grieving is a personal and private thing, unique to each one of us. This is what I do and it seems to be working well for me.
I hope you find your own healthy way of coping and therefore be there for your family too. Once you have dealt with yours, the rest follows with ease.