Author Topic: I'm 21 and I lost my mom recently to Cancer  (Read 5264 times)

RespectfulWreck

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I'm 21 and I lost my mom recently to Cancer
« on: March 12, 2015, 06:00:00 PM »
Hello,
I am new to this site but just in the process of looking for support right now.
I am in university and have classes and work and many things on my plate taking my time these days. But my last month I took everything off because my mom passed away at the end of January after a year and a half of her fighting against cancer for her life. And she lost the fight. :(
I feel like having a mom is such a normal and taken for granted thing for people who are my age. People don't mean to make me emotional in sadness about losing my mom but it just happens. And I think will for a while... I am in the process of grief, and I am negotiating with myself about how to continue on with the rest of my life. Anyone else in a similar sort of situation?

Sincerely,
RespectfulWreck

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: I'm 21 and I lost my mom recently to Cancer
« Reply #1 on: March 12, 2015, 06:45:11 PM »
(((((((RespectfulWreck))))))

I'm so sorry that your precious Mom has died and that you're having to live without her. Welcome to Webhealing and to our family that understands how such a great loss affects our lives.

I was around your age when my Mom died. That was back in 1977 and I still miss her. I always will. She was my best friend. My Mom. My babysitter. And, in my eyes and heart, a saint. I understand how lost and empty the feeling is when our Mom dies.

You're right that people really don't know what to say as before they can truly understand, they would have had to also suffer a great loss. If they understood, they would simply give you a hug or just say, "I'm sorry." But, I'm sure your friends care for you very much and they are doing their best to let you know that they are there for you....in their own way.

Tell us more about your Mom when you feel up to it. I know right now you must be feeling overwhelmed with emotion since her death was so recent but whenever you're ready, we're listening. :love9:

Holding you close and sending you my love,
Terry

Janka

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Re: I'm 21 and I lost my mom recently to Cancer
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2015, 07:40:19 PM »
RespectfulWreck,

I´m sorry for your loss!I lost my father from the gullet cancer when I was 22 y.o.It´s long ago but I understand how you feel right now.I saw my father dying in front of me till his last breath.We all are here for you...whenever you need to talk to...to find a comfort,understanding and support...

Take care!

Hug you from the heart!

Janka (Spouse,Partner Loss)

​I always kiss you from the heart,my endless love,
you know how much I love you,also stars above,
you will always be my dearest and only one,
I can not wait to be with you,my beloved Jan.

Janka

RespectfulWreck

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Re: I'm 21 and I lost my mom recently to Cancer
« Reply #3 on: March 28, 2015, 01:42:26 PM »
Thanks for your responses!

I didn't realize so many people had lost parents until my mom actually died. Although I still feel that most people my age just don't understand. It's so taken for granted within our society that people have a mom and a dad. Some people who have a "white-picket-fense" kind of life just don't understand. My life was pretty great before but now I just really feel burdened by all the responsibilities of being an adult. I think about my future and it seems more unclear than ever before. Cancer is so brutal. I have so many questions and not many answers at this point in my life. I just want things to feel okay again.

Sincerely,
RespectfulWreck.

Terry

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Re: I'm 21 and I lost my mom recently to Cancer
« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2015, 12:36:42 PM »

In time, things will feel OK again. They really will. It may be different but it will work! :icon_flower:

You're right that so many take for granted those big Sunday dinners with family around the table and games, talks, walks, etc., afterwards. It's something I miss. Always missed about my family being gone.

When the burdens of adulthood start to get you down, go out and do something really childlike, foolish and above all, fun and don't think twice about it. We have to allow our inner child room to grow and not push it back into the past where we think it should stay. We get old too soon if we lose those childlike qualities.

Love,
Terry