My dear Terry!
I´m thinking of you now that you feel both sad and hopeless.Keeping the memories of beloved one alive may keep us alive too.There are times when nothing anyone can say helps and our heart wrenching experience makes us cry again;there are also times when we just can´t get out of it and it hurts much more than before as if turned back the time for living at the moment the same disaster as it had happened;but please be mindful there is always someone helpful to make you feel better,so please allow me to be like this to be here for you.It´s so hard for us going through this.Some things don't ever go back to where they were and it feels like a big anxious at the moment.I want to be comforting for you right now,hoping it´s going to be better later.I´ve been going my spiritual path now,with the people like this around,that´s why I feel a little bit better again,but these moments you´re living in right now I spend many times too,it can´t stop until I meet my beloved Jan again.That´s the way it is.This way made me realize that I should change my job to find something more meaningful to me.There is everything about the money there and now I feel a conflict inside of me.I need a change.
I´d like to hug you and talk to you everything I worry about to make feel better.It would be nice when you're befriending someone.
I´m sending my warm hugs meaning from the heart as always used to be.
Kisses from Janka