Author Topic: It's to late to start over  (Read 1493 times)

martyjc1

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It's to late to start over
« on: February 04, 2013, 07:08:13 PM »
I have been punished for all the bad things I've done in my life. I have accepted this. What now just exist?
This is no life. I'm tired of being sad and unhappy. The future I thought we had is gone. I see everyone's life going along mine is null and void.

Bla bla bla sorry just venting here. There are a lot of people who have it worse than me, that does not change the fact that I screwed up. The love of my life is gone. I can't change that fact. It happened so fast but not really, I could should have done more.

I'm not afraid of dying I wish for it. I have no place here. No one to share my life with nor do I want to.
My feet are encased in cement it's getting harder and harder to walk through life.

This will be my last post. Thanks and may you find happiness.
Marty Creguer

Terry

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Re: It's to late to start over
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2013, 07:29:48 PM »

(((((Marty)))))

It's been just a couple of months since Pam died and it's understandable to be feeling all of these emotions and confusion. Try to take one day at a time (or even, minute) and do what you need for 'you.' Take care of yourself right now. This is a long journey and it's a very painful one and we all understand here.

Also, try to join a support group at your church or ask where there is one locally. Do you have any close friends that you can spend time with and talk with? Family?

It helps to post often! Your feelings have to go somewhere besides inward.

We're here for you.

Love,
Terry

MyLou

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Re: It's to late to start over
« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2013, 03:46:43 AM »
(((((((((( MARTY )))))))))))


Terry is right.  It's only a few months as times goes on it will get softer.

I thought or never believed it would.  Of course I have my bad days.  I am at 2 yrs and almost 3 mths.  I never thought I would be where I am today.

It's not to late to start over.  It feels like it right now I know.  This is our new life/journey now. You will figure it out one day like we all are doing.

Please take baby steps, one sec, min , hour at a time.  

See if there is a support group in your area, journal, post here.

We all know about giving up but we haven't we push through those dark days.

We are here for you always,

Always,
Lisa
« Last Edit: February 05, 2013, 03:49:39 AM by MyLou »
"Soulmates Forever"

I miss you every second of everyday My Love

I know I will see you again

johnkmurray

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Re: It's to late to start over
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2013, 09:42:08 AM »
((((Marty))))

Hang in there brother. Your grief is very new. The initial numbness may just be wearing off and the full pain of your loss is setting in. This too shall pass! As Lisa already stated take life one day at a time ... or one hour, minute, second, whatever it takes. Yes, there are dark days ahead but there will also be good days. Eventually the good days will outnumber the bad. I lost my wife to cancer almost three years ago and since then has been a painful journey. Many's the day I didn't think I could go on. Or didn't want to. I managed to survive with the help of good friends, especially the support of friends here at WebHealing, and because I knew Kit wanted me to.

I started dating back in October, 2.5 years after losing Kit. I started coming to terms with my new reality. Just the other day I looked at the calendar and saw that Feb 14th was drawing near. Since losing Kit that particular revelation brought with it a crushing grief. Not this time. To my surprise the first thoughts I had were of a woman I started seeing few weeks ago; thoughts of what plans I could make and ideas for a suitable gift. I didn't think of Kit first!!! I was shocked. I felt guilty at first, but the warm feeling from making plans pushed the guilt and the grief back. I'm sharing this to show you that there is hope, that although there are dark days ahead there will also be times when the light shines through. Meanwhile don't be a stranger. This is a safe place to hang out while you work trough the journey.

John

browneyedgirl

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Re: It's to late to start over
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2013, 11:32:46 AM »
((((Marty))))

Hang in there brother. Your grief is very new. The initial numbness may just be wearing off and the full pain of your loss is setting in. This too shall pass! As Lisa already stated take life one day at a time ... or one hour, minute, second, whatever it takes. Yes, there are dark days ahead but there will also be good days. Eventually the good days will outnumber the bad. I lost my wife to cancer almost three years ago and since then has been a painful journey. Many's the day I didn't think I could go on. Or didn't want to. I managed to survive with the help of good friends, especially the support of friends here at WebHealing, and because I knew Kit wanted me to.

I started dating back in October, 2.5 years after losing Kit. I started coming to terms with my new reality. Just the other day I looked at the calendar and saw that Feb 14th was drawing near. Since losing Kit that particular revelation brought with it a crushing grief. Not this time. To my surprise the first thoughts I had were of a woman I started seeing few weeks ago; thoughts of what plans I could make and ideas for a suitable gift. I didn't think of Kit first!!! I was shocked. I felt guilty at first, but the warm feeling from making plans pushed the guilt and the grief back. I'm sharing this to show you that there is hope, that although there are dark days ahead there will also be times when the light shines through. Meanwhile don't be a stranger. This is a safe place to hang out while you work trough the journey.

John

Beautiful post.
Tony Repola 07/20/66 – 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven

sonya

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Re: It's to late to start over
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2013, 10:57:30 AM »
(((((MArty))))

Many of us have had similar feelings of utter loss and suffered throughtimes when it all felt utterly pointless.
You expressed it so fully in the description of walking through life with feet encased in concrete.
But they are not. You can get free of this. You can move forward. And though it may feel really pointless, it isnt. It matters because we are here and have taken the time to write.
And the reason I took the time to write is because your words moved me. I hope one day that you have the opportunity to write another post that will move someone again. MAybe someone in the situation that you are now facing.
I wonder what words you would give to that person. What advice would you make sure that they heard when they needed it most?


Take good care,

we are all here for you,

Sonya
Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy

jbryant

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Re: It's to late to start over
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2013, 12:48:00 PM »
were here for you