((((Marty))))
Hang in there brother. Your grief is very new. The initial numbness may just be wearing off and the full pain of your loss is setting in. This too shall pass! As Lisa already stated take life one day at a time ... or one hour, minute, second, whatever it takes. Yes, there are dark days ahead but there will also be good days. Eventually the good days will outnumber the bad. I lost my wife to cancer almost three years ago and since then has been a painful journey. Many's the day I didn't think I could go on. Or didn't want to. I managed to survive with the help of good friends, especially the support of friends here at WebHealing, and because I knew Kit wanted me to.
I started dating back in October, 2.5 years after losing Kit. I started coming to terms with my new reality. Just the other day I looked at the calendar and saw that Feb 14th was drawing near. Since losing Kit that particular revelation brought with it a crushing grief. Not this time. To my surprise the first thoughts I had were of a woman I started seeing few weeks ago; thoughts of what plans I could make and ideas for a suitable gift. I didn't think of Kit first!!! I was shocked. I felt guilty at first, but the warm feeling from making plans pushed the guilt and the grief back. I'm sharing this to show you that there is hope, that although there are dark days ahead there will also be times when the light shines through. Meanwhile don't be a stranger. This is a safe place to hang out while you work trough the journey.
John