I can understand why you feel the way you do. Some believe that no one had a life before them. What an ego, hugh? And, an unhealthy one at that.
I'm sorry you have been hurt and I also understand that. I see that Doug went through this, too. (bless your heart, Doug) And, all I have to say is; what an ego on some of these people, believing that they alone exist and a life can be erased for their comfort level!!!! I don't know how they sleep at night. Loving is giving. Not taking!
I remember a couple that lived next to my Dad when he had his own home, years ago. They were married 42 years. When Belva died, everyone thought Joe wouldn't last long. Well, he met someone just months afterwards, which surprised and even upset some of his friends, neighbors who were very close to both Joe and Belva. Me and Dad were happy for him and saw it as his business and continued to be friends with him, when others turned their backs on him.
His new wife, Elaine was super. She was a doll. Joe and Belva both played piano and atop the piano were all of the family pictures, most of Joe and Belva in their travels and they traveled a lot. Well, what was so endearing was when Elaine would feather dust the pictures, she would always 'kiss Belva's picture!' Joe said it was one of the reasons he loved her so much. He never took any pictures down as he never had a reason to. Belva was his wife, his life for many, many years. Elaine was his new wife and she accepted that he had a wonderful and memorable life before she came along. Elaine was a very secure person. She was never threatened by Joe's memories, in fact they shared together, his love for Belva.
That was many years ago and Joe and Elaine are still very, very happy!
Wanted to share that story with you. It seems others place a time frame on when someone can fall in love after someone dies. That time differs for us all. But, the difference in this story compared to some horror stories where the new wife/husband wants no memories of their new spouse's past life, is a warm, loving and secure person loves every part of you. Every part of you!!! And, wants to be a part of your memories. Now, that is what I call L O V E !
Wouldn't it be nice if we could all be as blessed as Joe and Elaine?
Love,
Terry