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Gail08
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« on: March 14, 2012, 04:57:07 PM »

I have posted many times about my sister.  But it has just been a part here and a part there about her and our realtionship.  I thought that those who have given me so much support here might like to hear her whole story.  I have said that Jolene died of a liver disease.  Well, she got that disease from drinking.  She started drinking when she was 21.  She never said as much, but I believe what caused her to start drinking was the break-up between her and her boyfriend.  I say this because I know how much she loved him and how much it hurt her when he broke up with her.  A friend of hers who worked with her at the time of the breakup told me she belives this as well.  It was just beer for about 8 years.  Then she started drinking whiskey.  2 or 3 shotglasses a day along with the beer for about 3 years.  Then it went to 3 or 4 full glasses of whiskey a day along with the beer.  She then started on Tequilla and Vodka.  She would switch from whiskey to tequilla to vodka throughout the day to go along with her beer.   At this time the only time whe wouldn't be dinking would be when she was asleep or when she went to town.  Then she started carrying vodka in little bottles in her pocket and take little sips here and there.  It then escalated to putting vodka in 16oz water bottles and carrying them with her everywhere, even to church.  At this point the ONLY time she is not dinking is when she is asleep.  By the time she moved close enough to where I live and am able to see her on a regular basis (monthly) she is already going strong on the whiskey and is a full-fledged alcoholic.  It is not until she started on tequilla and vodka that I was finally able to make myself realize just how serious the situation was.  I guess I just thought that she woud just finally stop drinking  but instead she just kept drinking more and more things.  When I was finally able to realize how serious the situation was I knew I needed to do something to get her to stop.  Even though I knew it was probably too late I still had to try but I just didn't know what to do.

I am sorry, but I am going to have to continue this later.  The above is so hard to think about but the last year of her life is even harder.  I will continue soon.
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browneyedgirl
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« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2012, 05:27:22 PM »

(((((((((((((Gail))))))))))))))
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Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
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Doug1222
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« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2012, 07:29:58 PM »

Thanks for sharing, Gail. I'll be reading when you want to add more.
((((((((Gail))))))))))
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Gail08
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« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2012, 03:35:57 PM »

Thank You browneyedgirl for your hugs and Thank You Doug for being interested in hearing about Jolene.  It means so much that I can come here and talk about Jolene as much as I need or want to.  I have never told Jolene's story from beginning to end before and it is so hard because it hurts knowing that this is my sister and best friend that I am talking about.  Also, ALOT of things hit me yesterday while I was writing that made me stop and think that maybe if I had been stronger that maybe I could have helped her.  I thought of what I did at many different times and I can't help but wonder if I had been stronger and done things differently would Jolene still be here today.  I HATE myself for not being stronger when I should have been.  I was not the sister that I should have been and I HATE HATE HATE myself for that.  But as I said, I will continue the story soon.  The last year of her life was the worst thing that I have ever had to watch and especially the last week of her life.
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Terry
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« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2012, 07:34:59 PM »


Thanks, Gail for sharing more of precious Jolene. It's why we're all here.

(((((((((((Gail)))))))))))
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"The amount of grief one feels is in direct proportion to the amount of love one felt." From C.S. Lewis in his book A Grief Observed.
helene
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« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2012, 07:56:14 AM »

Hi Gail,

That took a lot of courage to write more about your dear sister Jolene. I can really empathize as to just how difficult it can be to write about these kinds of memories. And, believe me, I don't  think there's one of here who doesn't have any regrets about what we should have done and did not do. I have battled and continue to battle with self hatred because of that very reason for many years now and especially since Lesley died.

Please continue to tell us Jolene's story when you feel strong enough to do so and  Iwill be one of many who is here for you and who is reading and listening. My heart goes out to you in your sorrow and pain. I can feel your deep love for Jolene in every one of your posts.

(((((((((((((((((Gail))))))))))))))))))

Love from Helene
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Helene & Lesley
mary strain
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« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2012, 09:45:26 AM »

Gail: I know the feeling.  I dont think I did enough for Mark either.  I think I should have done so much more.  When I start feeling that way.  I try to remember I did the best I could but it still does not seem like enough.  I will keep listening to what you have to say because I need to learn so much more.

Love Mary
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Doug1222
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« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2012, 10:12:57 AM »

(((((((((Gail))))))))))

We're all thankful that you're sharing more of Jolene with us.
Doug
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Gail08
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« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2012, 04:20:57 PM »

Thank you all so much for your words of comfort and understanding.  This is the one place I can come and know there are others here who understand what I am feeling.  I appreciate that you all are intrested in hearing anything I have to say about Jolene when I need to talk about her.  I have been told that I shouldn't talk about her but there are times when I NEED to.  And you all here understand that need and I thank you so very much for that.  I enjoy hearing about your loved ones as well. 

Thanks again to all of you.
((((HUGS)))) and prayers to all.

Gail
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G                                  Sisters 2 the end
  A                                Friends 2 the end
     I                   _________________________
 J O L E N E              In my heart 4 ever
deebee
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« Reply #9 on: March 23, 2012, 01:34:49 PM »


Thank you for sharing... always wonder,  why drinking problems hit so many families -- mine too.  Drugs and alcohol were symptoms of David's problems,  later resulting in his death.   We'll be here to listen when you continue your story.  I too, also have to unburden myself, and finish David's story.   love and hugs,  deebee





PS -- Do you or other members know how to lengthen a posting to accept all that's being written ?  I'd like to pick up exactly where I left off on my story about David's death, but  the screen "bounces" and I cannot read what I've typed.
If anyone can help in this regard, it would be appreciated.  Thank you.   deebee
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helene
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« Reply #10 on: March 26, 2012, 10:24:16 AM »

Hi Deebee,

Whenever you feel you can, I wll be here listening and reading David's story. Gail I'm here for you and to learn more about Jolene too. You both loved your siblings so much. They will always be in your hearts.

Much love to you both,

((((((((((((Gail))))))))))))  (((((((((((((Deebee))))))))))))))

Helene.

PS: I'm reading quite a few books about drinking in families these days. It seems that alcoholism and drugs - addictions - has both physiological and psychological causes and many times one or both parents drank. Also, there are many different kinds of alcoholics, some far different from the stereotypical drunken bum staggering down the street with a bottle in a paper bag. My Dad drank a lot. But always seemed controlled - until very late at night where he'd get very emotional and phone people. He always went to work and always gave top-notch professional performances on stage (was a classical singer). BUT: he drank a lot. It DOES urn in my family.
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Helene & Lesley
jasonkl
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« Reply #11 on: March 27, 2012, 08:33:05 AM »

Hi Deebee

I post on the spouse loss broad most of the time. I read your post and had the same problems. I changed my browser. I use the apple version now and I can see all of my post with out the page jumping around.

I hope this is helpful.

Jason
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