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Author Topic: Related to Complicated Grief  (Read 994 times)
helene
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« on: March 01, 2012, 08:40:21 AM »

I don't know the proper thread to put this in. I was reading in the Complicated Grief Thread about causes and resulting feeling. I am experiencing all of the signs and symptoms of complicated grief that Seven gave us in early February. I have been feeling these symptoms for a long time, but they have become worse since Lesley died.

I now feel extremely isolated. My husband and I had another row last night. I just want to be away from him so I'm glad I'm at work all day. I no longer have any family. Lesley is dead. My Dad is dead. I am completely estranged from my 'mother'. I have absolutely nothing in common with my perfect younger sister Julie, who lives her perfect life in the suburbs with hubby and two boys. (I love the boys but have given up trying to be close to them because of Julie. Long story. Mother's favorite and all that. Always me who's at fault. I'm sick of all that and her attitude that our 'mother 'did the 'best' she could and all that rot. Julie was the ONLY one of mother's 4 children who was shown any physical affection, or affection of any kind. Julie has even admitted that to me!) My half brother Daniel has completely written me off because he doesn't like my husband ( the feeling's mutual between the two men). So I have no family. I have no children. I have a husband who's sick of me. I go to see some 20-something year old therapist who is supposed to 'understand' what a 48 year old is going through after 30-something years of non-stop grieving for her Dad and now her sister. I hate my job. I hate this piss-pot-of-a-small provincial town and wonder what the F-- I am still doing hanging around this planet anyway?


Ok. Another rant from Helene.
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Helene & Lesley
helene
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« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2012, 01:27:46 PM »

Ok, so I've gone on before about how my husband left me for an entire winter without giving me any indication of when he might deign to return or if he even would at all.

Now I wish he'd just go there and stay with all his beloved relatives and leave me alone. This time I really, REALLY, want to be alone. I don't want to be 'reporting' to anyone, or having to defend my feelings or moods etc etc. I don't want to eat his meals when I come home from work. I'm never hungry at 5:30 at night - as if one could make one's appetite work like clock-work - ha! ha!

Just give me my DVDs, CDS, Books and whatever else thankyouverymuch.

What did he think he was doing, anyway, marrying into a 'family' like mine?! Makes me think of a poem I once wrote called 'Easy Bake'. I'll most likely include it here soon since I'm such a bug here anyway.
With love from Helene.
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Helene & Lesley
browneyedgirl
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« Reply #2 on: March 01, 2012, 01:54:52 PM »

((((((((((((((((((((((((helene))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Please consider us as your webhealing famliy - I know it's not the same, but.....I am listening although I can't seem to find the words to comfort you...I am sorry. 

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Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven
helene
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« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2012, 02:02:06 PM »

Pam, You DO help me you Do!
I am sorry I am such a demanding/crazed/whatever person here.

Your care and indeed, everyone here, is literally keeping me alive these days and I cannot - no, I  CANNOT, ever thank all you you enough for that!

Still kicking!!

Love,
Helene
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Helene & Lesley
Doug1222
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« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2012, 09:10:45 AM »

Still kicking!!

That's good. Hang in there, Helene!
(((((((((Helene)))))))))
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