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helene
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My Dad


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« on: February 24, 2012, 12:51:21 PM »

My Dad wrote this for my 18th birthday many years ago then he died less than a year after that at the age of 46. He was the only person in my life who showed me unconditional love. He saved me by loving me as a parent should love a child. Even though he was away so much of my life and I was left with an unloving and very disturbed 'mother', I always felt my Dad's love for me. Here is his letter:

"My Very Dearest Helene: As I lay down breifly this afternoon I again had one of my occasional relaxing rests in which all sorts of pleasent thoughts and things I wished to say to you came to my mind. The main thin is to re-affirm how much I love you and how proud I am of all you've acheived over the years. Parenthood is something like this typewriter ribbon: constantly adjusting but with one big advantage: no replacements necessary. There is never a time when all your problems are solved and suddenly you are one of the 'big guys'. One of the most shocking revelations to me was the realization that there are no 'big guy', just millions of small ones trying at various stages of development to solve the same unsolvable problems. Why are we here? What do we matter? What's the meaning of it all? There are no answers to any of the above questions adn they can deaden the soul and preclude the possibility of going beyond them. I feel that one should ask instead: What concerns me? How can I be a part of the continuum called life which encompasses everything? What can I contribute? What can I learn? What will make me more distinctively human - which means caring  and being concerned and able to use my unique humanness? What can I add to the world? How can I serve principles of humanity, intellect and knowledge to the best  of my ability and what is realistic of me to expect of myself? In the long run it's better to have a positive rather than a negative attitude. Those this may seem self-evident, it isn't; both possibilities exiist. Helene, I've had the pleasure of seeing you in the hospital the day you were born when you, like all newborn babes looked more like a squashed turnip than anything else. I enjoyed your first cries, even when I changed your diapers. I remember throwing you around like a fottball, chasing you through parks and woods, watching your cavort on the beach, telling you stoies, taking you on trips and so many other things. I am very proud indeed of all you've accompished adn never more so than now as I see you start your way into the world....to stretch your wings toward your ever expanding goals. Always stay as sweet as you are. I love you. Old Dad.


Lovingly submitted,

Helene
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Helene & Lesley
Doug1222
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« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2012, 01:47:13 PM »

That's beautiful, Helene.
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helene
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My Dad


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« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2012, 01:30:57 PM »

Thank you Doug,

I have treasured this letter all these years since my Dad first wrote it. Thank you for reading it.

I hope you are doing ok these days. I know how hard it can be and also that each of our situations in this terribly complex 'grief thing' is unique. This can leave us feeling very alone at times. I should speak for myself. Anyway, just hoping you're doing ok.

(((((Doug))))))

Helene.
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Helene & Lesley
Doug1222
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« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2012, 04:01:45 PM »

I'm doing all right, Helene...a whole lot better than I was feeling a few months ago.

I'm doing ok.

((((((Helene)))))))

Doug
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jasonkl
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« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2012, 12:59:20 PM »

wonderful letter thanks for sharing


Jason
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helene
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My Dad


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« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2012, 08:33:00 AM »

Yeah. My Dad was a good man. He wasn't a perfect man. Who is? But he was a GOOD man who truly loved me. His love helped me to survive. I really don't think I would have lived without my Dad's love, even though he was gone so much of my life. When he was THERE he really showed me his love for me. I would have been dead by now if he hadn't have loved me. I know that for a fact.

Helene.
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Helene & Lesley
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