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Author Topic: New Here  (Read 833 times)
Sad Sister
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« on: October 26, 2011, 01:22:28 PM »

I found your website on an obituary for a funeral home last week.  A dear friend of mine had died at his home at age 34.  My brother, Scott, died in an automoble accident last year on June 17.  Lost my dad this year Feb 18th. Rough year to say the least. I saw it coming with my dad, but with my brother, I feel to this day like it is not real, that it may as well have happened last night.  He had been struggling with an addiction to pain killers as a result of some surgeries. I cannot go even an hour without thinking of him, how I didn't get to say good-bye to him, and realizing that I will walk with this the rest of my life.  I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters.  I was the only one in the family except for my parents that was even having contact with him the last couple of years of his life.  We were so close, and I am still lost. I saw his faults and pitied his addiction because I saw how he got there and he had told me that he couldn't find his way out of it. I went to a grief counseling group for a while, but the only coping skill offered was journaling and I am still unable to do it. That poem, Just for Today, has really helped me, thanks for posting that. 
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browneyedgirl
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« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2011, 01:50:53 PM »

Dear Sad Sister ~

I am so very sorry for the losses you have suffered.  I, too, lost my brother.

Welcome to Webhealing.  You will find a loving, supportive word whenever you need it here.  There is always someone to listen and we all care very much. 

Please come back and let us know how you're doing.

Sending love and light.
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Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven
Her Big Sister
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« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2011, 07:25:57 PM »

Dear Sad Sister

I am so very sorry for your losses you've suffered.  so very sad.

Your post struck a chord with me - as I lost my little sister in a tragic car accident almost 8 months ago.
Not a moment goes by that I don't think of her - and I still find myself asking how can this be real.  I know in my mind it is, but in my heart - it just can't be real.

This is a wonderful place to come - even to read and know you're so not alone - that people here do understand and care.

(((hugs))) from one sad sister to another.

take care of yourself - and be kind to yourself.  it's a gift you give yourself.

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Terry
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« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2011, 12:25:20 AM »


Hi Sad Sister,

I'm so sorry to hear of so many great losses. You truly have my heart. We love so unconditionally, just as you stood by Scott, though feeling lost as to how to help him, you were there for him. You were a good sister to him and where ever he is, I know he still holds your love in his heart.

Welcome to webhealing. It helps to tell their story and over and over. It's hard sometimes but it allows us to deal in the present when it's just too easy to not deal at all.

Take good care of yourself, especially now with the start of the season and know we are all here for you.

Sending hugs, love and understanding,
Terry

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"The amount of grief one feels is in direct proportion to the amount of love one felt." From C.S. Lewis in his book A Grief Observed.
Sad Sister
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« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2011, 07:23:49 AM »

Thank you so much for the kind words, I too, am very sorry for your losses as well.  Tragic, unexpected deaths are the hardest to take.  I had a really rough day yesterday. The cemetery where my brother and father are, is on my way to work.  Sometimes I stop, take flowers, I know they are not there, but I feel close to them when I go.  I run a lot of errands for the company I work for so some days, I pass by there 7 or 8 times.  When I see my brother's name I just cannot believe it still.  It is very raw. 

Thank you again for all your kind words and welcoming me to the site.
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browneyedgirl
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« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2011, 10:04:05 AM »

It will take time.....a lot of time.  I know that sounds cliche, but it's true.  When my brother died, I was wondering why I didn't feel better in a matter of weeks.  And later, I figured out that since this was the first tramtic sudden loss I had expreinced, why would  think I would be okay so soon? 

One day at a time. 

((((sad sister)))
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Tony Repola 07/20/66 03/29/09
I know you are fishing in the oceans and streams of heaven
Gail08
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« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2011, 07:54:35 PM »

I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my sister and while it was not sudden(I was at her bedside the final week of her life taking care of her and watching her die) circumstances prevented me from saying Goodby to her. So I understand what you are saying about what you are feeling from not getting to say Goodby to your brother.  I hope you will find comfort here. I found Webhealing listed in the back of a book on dealing with grief.  Webhealing has been a GREAT help to me and I hope it will be for you as well.   Feel free to message me ANY TIME need someone to talk to.
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G                                  Sisters 2 the end
  A                                Friends 2 the end
     I                   _________________________
 J O L E N E              In my heart 4 ever
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