Had the oddest experience, again with a dream:
I was talking to my elder foster daughter in the kitchen. I am going to call her Nicole (I can't use her real name online.) We were having an every day conversation, and she was putting dishes away, from the dishwasher. I suddenly realized the kitchen wasn't set up as it should be . . . we weren't in my kitchen! I then immediately realized I was dreaming.
I became very excited and started screaming for Vince. Nicole gave me a shocked look, and her face started to look foggy as if she was disappearing, but I couldn't worry about that. I was sure this was a chance to see Vincent. I left Nicole behind and ran full tilt down a short hallway, yelling Vincent's name, sure that when I turned a corner, i would see some double glass doors and he would be outside of them, and I could let him in the house.
But right before I could turn the corner, I woke up! Suddenly, I was back in my bed. My body was tingling from head to toe and I was crushed with disappontment. I cried later that day; I just couldn't get it off my mind. I had come soooo close to seeing him! Why didn't I? What had I done wrong? Why wasn't I allowed to see him?? That's how it felt - like I had tried to cross some line that I wasn't allowed to cross, and got bounced back to my usual reality like I'd hit an invisible force field.
I did some reading that suggested that when you have a "lucid dream," you should first try to get a hold of your emotions and approach any thing you want to try to do calmly. That this will help keep you in the dream. Apparently, my experience of extreme excitement leading to waking up, and even the tingling, has been experienced by others.
So I am hoping I will get another chance.
I also ordered a book from amazon about consciousness and dreaming - it's a scientific book, by a biochemist type, that discusses theories about consciousness and reality, and how "real" dreams are, and theories about consciousness and death. It has to do with the way consciousness shapes and affects reality . . . anyhow I find comfort in understanding the universe as well as I can. It helps me as I try to process what happened to my son, what it means, where he is now, etc.
Will let you know if I find anything particularly interesting in the book.