Author Topic: Loss of Son  (Read 53 times)

BonnyLu

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Loss of Son
« on: July 18, 2017, 11:21:04 PM »
My name is Bonnie.  My son, Tom, passed away on February 3, 2017.  He lived with me and was sick for about three and a half years.  On Friday night, Feb. 3rd, he walked into the bathroom and said, " I feel so strange."  He passed out and died.  He was taken swiftly, thank God.  He suffered for months from a brain tumor and Diabetes insipidus and type 2.  Even though it has been 5 months, I feel like it was yesterday.  A part of me died with him.  Today has been such a long, painful day.  Sometimes I go for days without crying and then out of the blue, I just cry and cry and cry.  I feel so panicky, like I will just explode sometimes.  Like I cannot endure it....but I do.

JustMark

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Re: Loss of Son
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2017, 10:08:49 PM »
Bonnie, I'm sorry about your son and I mean that sincerely. I have not lost a child, so I can only imagine the grief you are experiencing is worse then mine. I do have a multiply handicapped that's 32. For my daughter I am scared that she won't go before me.
I lost my wife 4 months ago. Also between my wife and my dad and I can relate to caring for someone you love for years that and they pass away. Both my wife and my father experienced torturous bouts of pain and I know that feeling of helplessness that you get when you see them go through it. and all you can do is comfort them as best you can. I too suffer with chronic pain with my disabilities but not like they did. I miss them both so terribly but I do take some comfort in that they are no longer suffering. They both went quick and peacefully also like your son. I'm not sure how old your boy was. Gina, my wife went so peacefully I still find it impossible to believe that there wasn't any noise. No thud, no bump no nothing. I was in our office and she took her usual pain meds and waited for them to take effect because she had a tooth ache. She had kissed me on the cheek while I sat at my desk on my computer in our office and said she was going to bed. I told her I wouldn't be much longer. I sat at my desk and watched her go into the bedroom.  A short time later about a half hour or so I turned off my computer and headed to bed and found her on the floor.  So quiet even our dogs didn't alert me like they are trained. One of them was in the bedroom with her only about 8 foot away from where I found her on a hardwood floor. Gina did have a peaceful look on her face that I hadn't seen for quite some time if at all. She had a ventral hernia that ten surgeries couldn't repair before I even met her in  2006.  She had a heart attack.before getting into bed and nothing was disturbed like maybe she was reaching for something or tried to get a hold onto something to steady herself while unbalanced. No signs of any sort of struggling at the last minute either. I still find myself weeping from time to time. Just did yesterday. I'm glad they are not suffering anymore and I did have some emotional forewarning or preparation but it still hurts when they go. I would do anything to have them back as long as they wouldn't be in pain or suffering. 

Terry

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Re: Loss of Son
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2017, 07:49:13 AM »
(((((Bonnie)))))

I'm so very sorry for the great loss of your precious son, Tom. Welcome to Webhealing.

Webhealing is a safe place to vent your feelings....never any judgments. I came to Webhealing when my oldest and only surviving child died, many years ago. My posts here on the board looked more like 'short stories' as I held nothing back, or in. It really helped me.
It takes a long time to even begin to understand our loss. Losing a child is so devastating.

If there is anything I can do for you, feel free to message me. And when you feel up to it, please tell us more about your Tom. We're here for you.

Sending love & understanding,
Terry
"One thing I've learned on this journey (it's been a year and a few days since my husband, Tom, died of cancer), is that in the beginning, there is a lot of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back shuffle." - RobinBlue - Spouse Loss