((((( Angelicmom )))))
I'm sorry your Grand Father died. I know you cared for him while he was ill and I also know the stress this placed on your marriage. My husband is dead now, a few years ago and he was very supportive but was resentful of the time I gave to my Father. My Dad has AD and I have been caring for him 14 years and the last 3 have been extremely difficult. Until a year ago, I did it alone. It hasn't even been a year yet since I've had nurses here day and night. It was after his stroke which was in the summer.
I understand the time, the energy and the love a caregiver must have to care, both physically and emotionally for someone very ill. And, I remember urging you to seek help as it can become draining for the other family members when we are exhausted. But, we do the best we can and I, too waited too long to seek help and my own health has suffered because of this procrastination. I have a bad back due to an accident and I am once again, bed bound. Please take care of yourself, especially now.
I am so deeply sorry to hear of the problems in your marriage. Is he willing to go to counseling with you at this point? Have you asked him?
Please don't beat yourself up or put yourself down due to another's decision. We do the best we can and hope others around us who love us will understand and if they don't, so be it.
You have my love and understanding,
Terry