Author Topic: Introductions  (Read 37339 times)

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Introductions
« Reply #90 on: November 21, 2017, 09:20:40 AM »
Hello. I lost my mom about 3 weeks ago.  The grief has finally started to settle in.   My mom was in the hospital for 3 months.  Seemed like every time I turned around something was going wrong.  She passed  on Oct 27th 2017.  I am devastated.  My heart breaks for my dad.  It saddens me to think how he must feel.   I would like some ideas how to make it past the holidays and the next few months…


Hi Chase,

I'm so sorry to read of the death of your precious Mom. Welcome to our Webhealing Family.

http://webhealing.com/forums/index.php?topic=7174.msg51384#msg51384 This is a link to the Holiday posts - "The first Christmas after a death" by Susan Dunn is an excellent read and have helped many find ways to cope at this difficult time of year.
It's just you and your Dad entering the holiday season?

Do what is comfortable for you, Chase and for your Dad. Others do not walk in your shoes, they do not feel your pain. We understand here. Post as often as you are comfortable....someone is always reading and reaching out a hand.

We're here for you.

Hugs,
Terry

Lacemaker

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Re: Introductions
« Reply #91 on: November 24, 2017, 06:37:47 PM »
Hi Chase, Sorry to hear about your mom. Not sure I have any ideas to help with the holidays as I'm in your same boat so to speak. I lost my mom in April and this is the first holidays without her and is proving to be very difficult. The one thing I've learned is to do what is comfortable to you. and there is no right or wrong to grieving and no time schedule. As we all grieve differently. But this group is here for each other if nothing else to listen when you need to vent.

Lov3linds

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Re: Introductions
« Reply #92 on: December 05, 2017, 02:17:32 AM »
My name is Lindsay.
My father committed suicide almost 20 years ago. I was 11.
I'm still struggling.
We don't have any support groups where I live so I am here.

BrettJudd

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Re: Introductions
« Reply #93 on: December 13, 2017, 02:48:19 PM »
My name is Lindsay.
My father committed suicide almost 20 years ago. I was 11.
I'm still struggling.
We don't have any support groups where I live so I am here.


I am glad that you found this forum and hope that it might help you.

The early and tragic loss of a parent can be difficult to manage, especially without supports and good help.
One thing I always coach clients to do is to is eliminate any thoughts of "I should be better, over it, etc", or "this is taking too long". 

Grief and loss are a lifelong companion we learn to manage and embrace.

Best of success and support.
"There is no right or wrong way to grieve as long as you are grieving. Sometimes the best thing we can do to mourn with those that mourn is to just sit with them and be there." Brett M Judd MSW ~ Creator of Pathway Through Grief

Terry

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Re: Introductions
« Reply #94 on: December 17, 2017, 07:43:17 PM »
My name is Lindsay.
My father committed suicide almost 20 years ago. I was 11.
I'm still struggling.
We don't have any support groups where I live so I am here.


((((Lindsay)))),

11 is so young to bury a parent. We are left with so many questions that we may never get the answers to. Tell us about your Dad. How have you been doing with the holidays here?

Big hugs,
Terry


Jaimie

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Re: Introductions
« Reply #95 on: October 08, 2018, 11:07:42 AM »
Hi,
I'm Jaimie.  I lost both my parents in 2017, 8 months apart.  My mom in April and my dad in early December. Both deaths were unexpected as they were both relatively healthy individuals.  They never did figure out what my mom had.  Basically she got sick in the winter and died. My dad went in for a relatively "easy" heart valve surgery and was supposed to be just fine, and never actually woke up again.  I watched both parents deteriorate in the hospital over a 2 week period and was with them when they took their last breaths.  It's those images that always seem to pop into my mind as I'm trying to enjoy the good memories.  Some days I keep busy with work and coaching and life in general (I have a 14 year old). But lately I feel like I struggle more and more and can't seem to "be happy".  I have moments of happiness ( my boyfriend of 5 months is wonderful and I love him and his two kids.) but I have an overall general sense of "unhappiness".
I have taken on my parents' farm which includes 9 chickens, 1 large, needy dog, and 3 cats (5 total, 2 were mine).  I am in the process of moving from my home in a small community a block from the school I work at, into my childhood home on the farm.  It was a choice I made to do so, as I felt it was the right thing to do and I do love it out there and it made more sense to take over the animals, etc there, then to try to sell it all and get rid of my parents (and mine) beloved home.  But I second-guess myself constantly.  When my dad passed, I was engaged and in a 2+ year relationship.  He started "talking to someone" behind my back and we broke up about a week before my Mom's 1 year anniversary death.  So that was difficult as well and left me alone (with my daughter) in the country in an old farmhouse with a lot of work that needs to be done all over the place.  Every time I turn around, I feel like something is breaking down or needs to be done or I can't go anywhere like I used to because of the dog, etc, etc.  So I feel anger about it as well as I feel like everyone else got to go back to their "lives" and mine was turned upside down.  I'm surrounded by memories of my folks on a daily basis and am tasked with the job of going through their things to make room for mine. I have an older sister that lives an hour away.  She is not very helpful and seemed content to let me deal with ALL the paperwork and business end of everything since my dad passed. She has helped go through things maybe 3 times for a couple hours at a time.  But there is 50+ years of stuff to go through and unfortunately my dad was quite a pack rat. (Which I do sometimes find some humor in at the weird stuff he has saved.) 
I still have not figured out a "new normal".  I'm not sure what that is.  I'm tired of feeling like this.  Most nights I have trouble getting to sleep as I need someone to talk to and everyone else in the world is asleep.  My boyfriend (who didn't have the pleasure of getting a chance to meet my folks) has been there for me, but we don't always get to see each other due to work obligations, kids, and he lives an hour away.  So he doesn't stay by me every other week when he has his kids.  So that is also hard for me. 
As I read this, I feel like a whiny baby and that is not really who I am (most people would describe me as "upbeat, fun, strong, etc).  But I guess I just don't know where to turn.  I'm not getting better at this and feel like I am having even MORE of a difficult time than I was before.
I hope that by being on this forum and getting a chance to talk about my feelings will help me.
Thanks for listening to my "life story".

lewisfamily23

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Re: Introductions
« Reply #96 on: October 16, 2018, 08:03:31 PM »
Hi,

I'm Kristina and I just lost my best friend in the whole world, my dad.  He passed away on the 10th of this month and I honestly don't know what to do half the time.  I am being strong for my mother and I just don't know how much longer I can stay strong for her and my children.  I keep blaming myself for not seeing the signs that he wasn't doing good on that day.  I just need help or someone else that understands.  I get tired of hearing, sorry for your loss, and everything.  To me they are just words and I'm wishing they would just let me be and everything.  What even more sucks is my birthday is the end of this week and I don't even want anything besides for having my daddy back.  I am not sure how I can handle all these's firsts that is coming up.  Ugh.. sorry for rambling, but this is all I can come up with and I am hoping this online group will help me