Author Topic: Introductions thread  (Read 55491 times)

JustMark

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #165 on: March 07, 2018, 10:33:10 AM »
Hi Kim61,

I know those treatments that Richard went through were rough and I'm sure he was thankful to have someone like you to be by his side as he went through them. Gina and I are both disabled but when we first met we weren't aware I had anything more then depression and on back on my way to living a normal life. Gina had suffered years with a ventral hernia that 10 surgical attempts at repair were unsuccessful when we met in December of 2006. We got married in 2009 after my physical disabilities developed from past injuries I suffered while in the Army and later from working around industrial machinery. From when we had met and even after we got married we lost count of the number of er visits for the problems with her stomach. In spring of 2015 Gina had a successful knee replacement surgery and somehow or other while she was still recuperating the night they before they were going to release her she ended up with brachial plexis and lost the use of her right arm. so I cared for her for the remainder of her life for almost two years. Just after we lost Sarge our first Service dog and father of a special litter of pups we had, Gina started going down hill fast for her last 6 months. Then in March last year she died of heart attach.

For both of us it was our 2nd marriage and from the time we dated and after we married we were together just a little more then 10 years. We were inseparable from the beginning and we each treasured the time we had together. We always understood she would most likely go first and the last two years we had a lot of those heart to heart talks.

So even though we prepare for the inevitable as in your case and mine. It still hurts like hell when they go. It's been almost a year but there are still times a lot of memories flood my head and I get lost in thought. It's ok when it does happen as a vast majority of them are happy and pleasurable. The house is still filled with a lot of things that were Gina's that I don't use or have a need for as I haven't had it in me yet to get them to places they could be used. The only things I have gotten out of the house that belonged to Gina were her cloths and shoes. I sort of been holding off until I had more healing under my belt. It wasn't until just this last month I took of my wedding band and placed it in her jewelry box with hers.

KIM61

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #166 on: March 11, 2018, 11:07:59 AM »
Hi JustMark
You are right no matter of the time it is still a shock when the time comes.  I think the healing has to come on its own no matter how long.  I don't feel any hurry and I just keep going one day at a time. Will have you in my prayers as you approach one year. Hope you have a peaceful time and enjoy many good memories. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience.

Sandy W

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #167 on: April 17, 2018, 08:43:55 AM »
This is my first time on here.  I lost my husband of 41 years 2 years ago this May 1.  I would like to hear from others in this similar situation and how they are coping.  thanks  sandy

Veronica1992

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #168 on: April 28, 2018, 05:14:04 PM »
Hi. I'm Veronica. Over the past 2 years, I lost a few close people. I accidentally stumbled upon this forum and began to read other people's stories, it's a little distracting. While I'm not ready to write about myself, so as not to aggravate my condition. But I will be glad to help others.

hearyou

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #169 on: April 29, 2018, 04:50:02 PM »
My husband died March 2016,he had been sick with cancer which we had beat. Was COPD that took him. Married for 36 years. It is hard to see the happiness in life when your everything dies. I have had to get a full time job which is probably a blessing and seems as though life is just mundane now.I try and see the positive in everything and have taught myself to not think negatively. I have learned how to not think. Just do things there is no real happiness in life anymore but i pretend there is to others. Everyone thinks i have done Exceptionally well . Inside me there isn't much going on though. I am just doing my time. I do find some things amusing though and am grateful for my memories as it is all i have now and again am grateful for those too.Guess life is just for work now. ( Hugs)Everyone.

Veronica1992

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #170 on: April 29, 2018, 07:57:35 PM »
hearyou, The work is really very distracting. But you need to rest, too. Take care of yourself. I hope you get better with time.

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #171 on: May 01, 2018, 05:48:07 PM »
My husband died March 2016,he had been sick with cancer which we had beat. Was COPD that took him. Married for 36 years. It is hard to see the happiness in life when your everything dies. I have had to get a full time job which is probably a blessing and seems as though life is just mundane now.I try and see the positive in everything and have taught myself to not think negatively. I have learned how to not think. Just do things there is no real happiness in life anymore but i pretend there is to others. Everyone thinks i have done Exceptionally well . Inside me there isn't much going on though. I am just doing my time. I do find some things amusing though and am grateful for my memories as it is all i have now and again am grateful for those too.Guess life is just for work now. ( Hugs)Everyone.

((((hearyou))))

I'm so sorry for the great loss of your precious husband. Welcome to Webhealing.

Love,
Terry

robn375

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #172 on: May 09, 2018, 09:53:34 AM »
Thank you for sharing.  Your words are what I have to say about Debby. It helps me to know that I am not in this alone but I would never wish this grief.   on anyone.  I wish you love and peace now and days to come.   

JustMark

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #173 on: May 11, 2018, 02:54:18 AM »
Hi robn375, welcome to webhealing. In dealing with my loss I have found this site helpful. None of us are experts on greif but we share things that have helped with others and get advice from others as well. So don't be afraid of talking about something that bothers you. We are about as non judgemental as they come.