Author Topic: Introductions thread  (Read 44807 times)

JustMark

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #135 on: April 16, 2017, 11:37:39 PM »
Terry, we don't loose them, we take time to reflect and remember the love and positive impact they had on our lives so we in turn can pass it on and share it with our kids and others down the road. By doing so it helps insure what we learned from them isn't gone forever but actually grows and continues impacting others. I do not know of any better way to honor or commemorate them.

In my daughter Dawn I see my mother and my grandmother and Dawn never met my grandmother. Every now and then I catch my mom calling Bob and that was my dad.
Speaking of my dad as at times I still deal with him moving on in 2001. Maybe I'll start a thread or two about him. His Angel date is and August 29th 2001 two days before his birth date August 31st 1926. We buried him on his 75 birthday. I learned a lot from him. He was raised in the depression and fought in 3 wars, WW2, Korea and Vietnam.  One thing that is so special about me and my dad, unlike my mom and 2 brothers there are things my dad only shared with me and things I only shared with him. You see for people like me and him there are things vets would only share with other vets because they understand. So me and my dad were very very close perhaps that's why I still deal with his death at times even to this day. Right now I'm in uncharted territory as my mom is still alive but I am the first of the sons to loose a wife and Gina was able to help me with my dad because she also lost hers.



Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #136 on: April 18, 2017, 02:11:39 PM »
Mark,
I posted your Dad's dates. Thanks for sharing them.
:icon_flower:
"One thing I've learned on this journey (it's been a year and a few days since my husband, Tom, died of cancer), is that in the beginning, there is a lot of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back shuffle." - RobinBlue - Spouse Loss

kim.knight66

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #137 on: June 21, 2017, 09:01:55 AM »
Hello.  I am going to be brief here because I am not sure I am even doing this correctly.  My husband, whom I have known about 30 years and been married to 22.5 years, died this year 1.5.2017- totally unexpectedly. I am trying to find a way to deal with my grief - anger- confusion- disbelief - while continuing to live and raise our four kids and run our business.  There are so many things I don't know about this - other than it is a constant up and down and although friends and family are there for me and my kids- no one knows what to say or how to talk to me.  So, I am hoping to find some way of communicating with others who might be able to relate or tell me - no your not nuts or yes you are nuts.  Thank you.  Kim

JustMark

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #138 on: June 21, 2017, 10:56:56 PM »
Hi Kim, I'm not sure there is a wrong way or a right way or a way of doing things correctly here. Some of us just say what is on our mind or talks about what they are experiencing or going through and someone will typically respond and share their experiences, advice of what worked for them or perhaps share some insight. I think the only one that comes here with any sort of professional experience is Terry. I could also be wrong as I really haven't inquired about her background and she may have just come here to get support for herself some time ago and was asked to be moderator or something like that. Trust me when I say this I have absolutely no doubts I can be wrong at times. The rest of us are either going through or have already been through what you have dealt with or will be in your loss or. So we all respect and try to help each other and truly understand the hurt, devastation and loss one can experience.  When I first came here I wasn't going to open up or let my hair down but I seen where others did get help that opened up. So I followed their example and I also learned a long time ago I have to be honest with myself as well as others or no healing can take place. I also learned it's ok to say when I hurt in here. From what I have seen of the various conversations in here I haven't seen anyone being judgemental either. This is the first time I have ever spoken to you and I believe you can see by the way I am expressing myself and being honest when I say I'm sincerely sorry for your loss. I do understand.

I can also relate to operating a business. That is what Gina, my wife and I were doing at one point. I'll soon be reopening it in honor of Gina after I get more of the rehab and work done at my house. I'm also pulling an engineering company out of storage that put in mothballs back in 2005 to get help for the sever onset of my disabilities at the VA. Her and I both are disabled and deep down inside we both understood she would go first. We both didn't realize it would be this soon. Just this last week would have been our 8th wedding anniversary and it was also the 3 month anniversary of her passing was only three days after our anniversary but I don't feel sorry. I sense her at times and weird things do take place at my house now I can't explain. Even with my engineering knowledge.

I promised Terry earlier that for my and Gina's anniversary I would post how I came to propose and marry Gina and I will in another thread tonight or first thing tomorrow so keep your eyes open for it if you are curious. I'm a man of my word and I will be posting that in the thread "been a month". I'm tracking my progress there as I go through this. Last week my brother and sister in law wanted me to come to Richmond to their house to get away from home last week. But you read what I post and you will see why I don't feel sorry about Gina passing. Don't get me wrong I do hurt very terribly and miss her very much but I don't feel sorry for myself for what I am going through. You see I know one day I will be joining her. I don't know when it will be but it will happen.

She heard all about my dad from me and my brothers and she always said she wished she had met him. Well she has met him now and right now she is playing with PJ. Her son Peter James. I haven't met him. Let her go ahead and take her time and play with him. While I have been typing I sensed she was around and a song that was one of our favorites began playing while I have been typing and it hasn't played on the radio in years. The song is called "Walking Her Home" by Mark Schultz listen to it or pull it up on you tube and listen to it Kim. The last couple of years I was walking her home. If you listen to that song and understood what our last few years were together you will understand that. Gina always said she had felt guilty not giving me a son. I'm not sure if she is watching right now or will read what I say later but I still sense her presence. It's ok Gina, you did give me a son. You made me PJ's step dad so you take your time and play with PJ. Tell PJ about his step dad and let him know. I may be taking my time but one day I am still coming home. All Gina has done is move to a different plane of existence and she doesn't hurt anymore. Needless to say I mentioned weird stuff happening around here now. So how in the heck did the radio station station know to play that song just a few moments after I remembered I promised Terry to post how I managed to propose to Gina and almost married her in the hospital in 2009. With this kind of stuff happening I don't doubt she read or will read what I just posted and I'm just as logical as the next person the only difference is I have seen or experienced enough evidence others haven't.

Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #139 on: June 23, 2017, 08:24:11 AM »

Hi Kim,

I'm so sorry to read of the death of your precious husband. Welcome to Webhealing. :love9: Our newest members are Mark and Raven. You'll see their posts below.

Post as little or as much as you feel up to posting, someone is always reading. Grief can be very confusing and also, overwhelming. One day, hour, minute at a time and sometimes a second at a time is how we work through this and in our own time. Learning and accepting that we have to live without someone we loved so dearly is work. And, although it may feel like it at times....I don't believe you are nuts or anywhere close to it. Pain roars and it stings and can cause us to ride the 'ocean of emotions' wave.

We're here for you. If there is anything I can do for you, just message me or post it here on the board.

Love,
Terry
"One thing I've learned on this journey (it's been a year and a few days since my husband, Tom, died of cancer), is that in the beginning, there is a lot of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back shuffle." - RobinBlue - Spouse Loss