I'm very sorry for the loss of your precious Laura and such a recent loss. It's heartbreaking watching someone suffer and feeling helpless...I've been there and you have my heart.
What a great expression of love that the two of you were so fortunate to have for one another. It's this deep love and respect that deepens our grief for we find it hard to believe we will ever find happiness even close to what we had with them. Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't.
Get another pet!!! They bring us so much unconditional love and comfort in a world where few can understand the pain we are going through....everything we are going through. You're not replacing your pet that died. That's not possible. You would be simply opening your heart to another and feeling their special love and affection. Your empty house would no longer be empty. Truthfully and even my own family doesn't "get it" but I probably wouldn't have made it this far without my furry friends. (Think about it!)
Keeping physically active is a good thing. You sound like a self-motivator and that's such a plus when grieving. And, setting boundries with others (and so soon) is impressive.
Sometimes those meetings (bereavement) can be helpful and other times, well it's hit and miss a lot, I've found. I commend you for taking that step to even attend.
I am realizing that all of my self-esteem and emotional currency was invested in being married to her. Now that she's gone I need to find a way to redefine my purpose in life and I don't know how. People ask how I'm doing and I reply, "I'm working on it." I'm lying. I don't know what "it" is or how to "work" on it. So for now I ride it out and try to keep my personal demons on the bench.
Be patient with yourself, realizing that you have had a devastating loss and it has been so recent. These early weeks, months and even years is a readjustment into life and as you shared, a redefining of your purpose. It takes time. Have you started a journal? Writing all of my feelings down everyday was life saving for me. Many have gone on to publish books on grieving and their path to searching for new meaning....the heartache, the struggles and eventually a bit of peace and that glimmer of light when for so long, there had been only darkness.
Thank you, JC for sharing your Laura with us and letting us know how you're doing. Please come back and share more as you are able. Someone is always here to read and respond with an open heart.
Welcome to Webhealing. I'm so glad you found us!
Again, I am so deeply sorry for your loss and the difficult time you are going through. The holiday's are brutal on us and those first's are even more so. Stay close and know we care.
Sending lots of hugs and my love,