Author Topic: Introductions thread  (Read 42243 times)

Soledad

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #120 on: December 12, 2016, 08:20:09 AM »
I am new here. I lost my spouse of 40 years in October. Mine is a complicated grief. I found out during the days of his wake and funeral that at the time of his passing, he was having an affair. I can not put into words how devastating this was and is. I am a Christian and God is holding me up, otherwise I would be in a million pieces. I Loved my husband and I am trying every day to forgive him for how he broke my heart. Death alone is terrible grief but the knowledge of his betrayal haunts my days, to a degree.

Some of my days are very difficult.

Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #121 on: December 14, 2016, 04:55:37 PM »

((((Soledad))))

I'm sorry for your great loss. It's understandable that you were devastated, shocked and probably feeling other emotions besides those associated with the loss of life. Welcome to Webhealing.

Try to take a day at a time and care for yourself the best you can by eating healthy, resting, drinking plenty of water and taking a walk every day. All of these help when we're grieving.

We're here for you.

Love,
Terry
"I'm thankful I have my writing to turn to.  And reading and my pets.  It is at times like these, I remind myself to think of gratitude and things I am thankful for." -Wally (Wally49er/Spouse Loss)

Soledad

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #122 on: December 17, 2016, 11:10:52 AM »
Thank you, Terry. In my complicated grief, I have found that there are some articles but very few books that address the subject of dealing with infidelity in conjunction with grieving. I'm considering writing a book. My background is medical, but English was always a strong subject for me.

I found very little on this website regarding the subject as well.

I appreciate your reply. Looking forward to participating here as much as possible.

Best,
Soledad

Julie Marie

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #123 on: January 19, 2017, 01:29:59 PM »
Hi. My name is Julie Marie. I lost my husband on Nov 16, 2016.   We were in the process of selling our house and had a closing date and were moving to NC (all our stuff was down in storage) My son and his wife also live in NC.  I was going to find a little job and David was going to take it easy and enjoy life.  He died from Pancreatitus. We had gone out to dinner on a Sunday evening.. he complained of a belly ache and we figured it was from too much fried food... well the next day it didnt go away. He was admitted to ICU with sever Pancreatitus. ( no gall stones and didnt drink but an occassional beer after mowing the lawn)  33 days in ICU he passed away.  I have been on the minute by minute/hour by hour rollar coaster of grief like everyone else.  I would do anything for my husband and I certainly would not have wantted him to suffer so if I have to go through this for him.. then thats what I have to do.  I drove the 899 miles to NC and am now staying at my son's house.  I am grateful for this website.

Soledad

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #124 on: January 19, 2017, 02:24:43 PM »
Hi Julie Marie,
     I am sorry for your loss. Please accept my deepest condolences. I know what you mean about the roller coaster. I hope for Peace for you. My husband died October 4th suddenly after a heart attack. He was a heart patient but was not sick that day except for a chest cold. He fly fished with my oldest Son, all day and after returning home in the late afternoon, said his back hurt. He went to lie down and by 7:40 he called to me. I called EMS, gave him CPR and he became conscious long enough to tell my son and I that he loved us. He said he knew he was dying. After leaving in the ambulance we never spoke to him again. He arrested in the ER before we arrived. They brought him back. On the third code I told them to stop. I am a nurse and I could see it was futile.
     I am doing a little better now. I have lots of support from family and friends and a prayer group.
I think it's good that you are with your Son. I'm sure that brings you comfort. Everyone is grieving, and so is your Son so I am sure it's difficult. These conversations here help. I'm hope you will come back and post again!

Soledad

Tom

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #125 on: January 19, 2017, 03:15:46 PM »
Hi Soledad and Julie -  Good to see you here and I wish things were a bit busier.   The traffic here comes and goes and is hard to predict.

There is no substitute for an ally in grief who is going through something similar and you both seem to have had some commonalities in your situations.  The sudden and unexpected nature of your losses are a huge factor that complicates the process of grieving.  Basically, it means that it takes a while longer to fully believe the loss has happened.  It's a tough time.

I will be checking in from time to time and I think Terry should be around. 

Blessings.
Tom's New EBook and paperback
 

Terry

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Re: Introductions thread
« Reply #126 on: January 20, 2017, 06:36:17 PM »

Hi Julie Marie,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious husband. Welcome to Webhealing.

You're so right that when grieving it's one minute, second at a time. It's not easy but it's important to care for your physical health the best you can as grieving zaps our immune systems. Try to walk every day away from your home.

And posting helps, a lot. There are many members on Spouse Loss as you'll find as you post below.

We're here for you.

Sending hugs & love,

((((((Julie Marie)))))

Hugs,
Terry


"I'm thankful I have my writing to turn to.  And reading and my pets.  It is at times like these, I remind myself to think of gratitude and things I am thankful for." -Wally (Wally49er/Spouse Loss)