Hi Julie Marie,
I am sorry for your loss. Please accept my deepest condolences. I know what you mean about the roller coaster. I hope for Peace for you. My husband died October 4th suddenly after a heart attack. He was a heart patient but was not sick that day except for a chest cold. He fly fished with my oldest Son, all day and after returning home in the late afternoon, said his back hurt. He went to lie down and by 7:40 he called to me. I called EMS, gave him CPR and he became conscious long enough to tell my son and I that he loved us. He said he knew he was dying. After leaving in the ambulance we never spoke to him again. He arrested in the ER before we arrived. They brought him back. On the third code I told them to stop. I am a nurse and I could see it was futile.
I am doing a little better now. I have lots of support from family and friends and a prayer group.
I think it's good that you are with your Son. I'm sure that brings you comfort. Everyone is grieving, and so is your Son so I am sure it's difficult. These conversations here help. I'm hope you will come back and post again!