I would like to introduce myself. My name is Imma, I lost my husband two years ago, and I'm still missing him a lot. We had got two children who are now seven and twelve years old , and despite all the sadness and the pain I try to make him present with us. When he died, I read a lot about the mourning and I found a sentence that helped me quite a lot. It was a Seneca's sentence which says " Do not curse the gods that you can not live by, thank you had lived", then I realised that while me and the children remember him, he should live in us. That's not easy and sometimes it's very hard but it helps me. When there's a new decision about one of the boys I use to think what we should have done as a couple, as his parents, and I try not to forget his vision, because it's part of our family. In the other hand I don't feel it as an obssession, just a way of living.
Last September he would have done 50 years and we made a celebration, we made a video and we remember him with a lot of friends, it was sad but, at the same time, I felt him with me, with us, so I also was happy. It's difficult learn how to live without him but with him too.