Pictures

[Gail08]

I was wondering if there was anyone who has had trouble looking at their siblings' pictures even after a year has gone by since they have passed away.   If so, how did you overcome the situation?   Last month was a year since I lost my sister and I still can't look at her picture.  I have tried and tried but I just can't do it.   Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to look at her picture again.

[Samantha44]

Hi Gail,
I lost my sister, Carol suddenly seven years ago but have come back to the main board recently after losing my Dad. I looked in on this Board this evening and saw your post. I know what you mean about pictures of our sibling after they've gone. I remember it took me a long time to be able to look at a picture of Carol. It just made the situation too real and so painful. I could get through the day trying not to think about her and trying not to remember that she should have been a part of my life still. The picture was a sudden, clear reminder that she wasn't here anymore. I hated looking at them.

I suppose it's not really important when we can look at pictures of them. We just have to give ourselves a break and accept that we're doing the best we can. The time probably will come when you can look back at them. It still hurts a little for me but sometimes it makes me feel good that I am remembering her by looking at her picture - she isn't forgotten. The main thing is that you're getting through each day and remembering her in whatever way you're able to right now. I remember I used to write letters to her and light candles for her. It helped me at the time.

I found the first anniversary so hard but it wasn't long before the good days (or hours) started to outnumber the bad. We never forget or lose the sadness completely but we can learn to live with our loss, learn from it and be happy again. We deserve to be happy.

I'm going through it all again now with my Dad, although his loss is a lot more complicated for me. I loved my sister so much and she loved me. It's a real gift to know this to be true. It's not always the case.

Take extra care of yourself. Wishing yourself a peaceful evening. Everything will come in time. I used to talk to Carol's pictures eventually. I still do sometimes.
Love
Sam