Hi Sheila,
Everyone grieves differently. If you find something to laugh about, laugh!!! There's nothing wrong with that, at all. At 4 months, I don't think my son Jeff's death, was even real to me. It seemed the more time that went by, the more I missed him.
I believe we learn to walk 'with' the pain, knowing after such a devastating loss that there is absolutely no way around it.
Tell us more about your darling son, Nate when you can. I love hearing about everyone's children.
I'm here. We're all here for you.
My love,
Terry