Happiest & Saddest Day of My Life

[ladybug1984]

It's been only seven months since I lost my precious sister Jacquelyn. 

My wedding was a few weeks ago, and it was extremely difficult to get through, especially considering she was supposed to be one of my bridesmaids.  I wanted to cancel or postpone the wedding, but my parents were very much against that.  I felt somewhat forced into the decision...I put on a fake smile to get through all the necessary crap like finding a dress without her, picking out flowers without her, etc...and then I'd come home and cry.

We still had her bridesmaid bouquet made, and had it placed on a pedestal right before the ceremony, up front with the other girls.  Walking down the aisle, and seeing my future husband smiling made me so happy, and then looking at that bouquet, made me want to just burst into tears because I wanted her there so very badly and its not fair.

I still frequently get those, "let me call her to see what she's up to" moments... they're still really painful.

What I wouldn't give...to see her smiling face again.

I'm glad that I got through this, for the sake of my husband and family, but at the same time, a big part of me didn't want to go through with it at all.  I just still feel like any sort of celebration is just so wrong and unnatural. 

I hope I made the right decision.

I love you, and miss you more than anything... and I hope that you were watching and there with us.

[laurenE]

What a beautiful way to honor and remember your sister.   I'll have to remember that.    I'm so sorry that she could not be there physically but I suspect she was looking down on your special day.   I believe that they know how much we love them and can somehow know when we remind them again. 
You'll see her again.  At least thats what I believe.  And thats the HOPE that we must cling to. 

Congratulations on your wedding day

lauren

[browneyedgirl]

Dear Ladybug ~ I am sure your sister was smiling upon you....

What a beautiful picture of your wedding, congradulations.

Take care of yourself.

[pepper309]

Ladybug,

I am so very sorry about the loss of your sister.  You were very brave to continue on with  your wedding plans without her there.  There is not much  that people can say or do during times like this to make you feel better.  It is one of those things that we all go through is our way in our own time.  The way that you talk about your sister makes me believe that you had a good relationship with her and that she passed on knowing that you loved her.  Your relationship with your wonderful husband will hopefully see you through the darkest times and help you to see that life can be good.  Congratulations on your new life together.