Author Topic: Marc's 21st  (Read 2647 times)

Judy-Marc's mum

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Marc's 21st
« on: July 01, 2009, 01:21:09 AM »
Hi everyone,
Sorry I havent been here for quite some time.  I have been reading the posts from time to time though.
We have just moved back to Western Australia from the Northern Territory (which is where Marc died) which is feeling quite strange after all  time that we spent away, but the good thing is that I have a chance now to catch up with all his old friends. :)
It will be his 21st in two months time and they have been asking me if I am going to have a party for him.  The hard part is that I would like to do something but I am not sure what.  My husband wants to have something here at the house where there are pictures of him around.
I know that it is going to be a very hard thing to do but I just feel that I need to do it for him
Has anyone had any experience with this sort of thing or been though the same??  
Thanks
Judy

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

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Re: Marc's 21st
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2009, 04:47:12 AM »
Judy, One of my bereavement friends throws a BBQ in honor of her son and his friends come. It gives her comfort to have them come.
I hope whatever you choose to do it brings you comfort as well.
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings

Jeanneb

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Re: Marc's 21st
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2009, 05:36:20 AM »
Hi Judy,

Good to see you post.  I'm glad for you that you will have Marc's friends close and think it is a great idea to celebrate.  We did celebrate Philip's 21st as we have other birthdays.  For us it is usually just family and we have tried to buy a gift to honor him that the whole family can enjoy somehow.

You just have to do what you feel is best for you but having friends over with pictures of Marc everywhere certainly sounds wonderful.  Then to have his friends around that could share some stories maybe even a few mom and dad don't know about could certainly be fun.  I think just sharing memories would be so heartwarming.  

Whatever you do I hope it is filled with smiles and laughs celebrating a beautiful life.

Love,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever
Bruce's sister
« Last Edit: July 01, 2009, 07:08:06 AM by Jeanneb »

Terry

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Re: Marc's 21st
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2009, 07:06:44 AM »
Hi Judy,

Your post brought me back to my Jeff's first Birthday, which was 3 weeks after he died. His friends all called me and wanted to share the day. They all came over, we had family here too of course, and we planted the "Apple Tree" in what is now my Jeff's Memorial Garden.  
While in the house, with the flowers and cards and letters on the dining room table, it was very intense and very difficult. Everyone just stood and cried.
I decided to move everyone outdoors to walk around the property and it soon became small groups sharing their love for Jeff and their pain from losing him.

It was a memorable day and will forever be etched on my soul.

You know his friends and also you know at this point what you are capable of handling and that is what you will do. Whether it's a quiet day with family or family and friends, I'm sure it will be filled with loving memories of your precious Marc. That is what is most important.

I hope you and your family are having a smooth transition, with the move back. Yes, it must be difficult, but I'm glad to hear the joy in your words when mentioning Marc's friends. I am always so happy to hear stories of Jeff from his friends and if you decide to have them over, I know you will too!

Please stop back in and let us know how everything is going for you, with the move and also with Marc's Birthday.

So good to see your post, Judy.

Take care of you.
Love...Terry
« Last Edit: July 01, 2009, 07:15:59 AM by Terry »

WendyRN

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Re: Marc's 21st
« Reply #4 on: July 01, 2009, 12:12:14 PM »
Judy, so nice to hear from you.  Hope you get settled in quickly and begin to feel at home.

We have celebrated 2 birthdays now without Keith.  He would have turned 23
this year on May 4th.  The first year we had dinner with just our immediate family and then headed over to a local highschool where a beautiful  mural had been painted just after Keith passed.  At the time, Holly was 26, Wade 24 and Keith would have turned 22.  Close in age, they had a lot of the same friends and probably  50 of them gathered there as well.  We set up a table with mementoes and had a card for everyone to sign.  We brought music that Keith enjoyed.  Then sent off our balloons.  It was quite a turnout with our family and friends too.  For all those days when we suffer and worry that our child will be forgotten, left behind as life continues for everyone else, this marking brought such happiness to my heart.  They remembered him well with their stories and laughter. 

Shortly after that, the memorial wall was painted over.  I knew it would happen and thought I had braced myself for that eventuality but ........

August 5, 2008 was the first year anniversary of Keith's passing.  We had a big luau at our home.  We invited all our friends/family and included our kids' friends too - which, in essence, have become our friends.  It was dress up and we BBQ'd a pig.  Just as it was getting dark, we had a moment of silence and everyone lit a candle.  I can't even describe the moment.  I just felt such peace and closeness with my son. 

This year we repeated the birthday celebration but at our home, sending off our balloons.  Nothing fancing, just sharing our memories.  In August, we are changing up the luau to a Woodstock party as it is the 40th anniversary.  Keith loved a good party and especially the costumes and so we will make this an annual event. 

This year I am working on a memorial dvd that I hope to have finished and will present to everyone.  Pictures, music, and comments from his facebook site.

Anyway, this is what we've done so far.  I hope you come up with something that will help you pass this time as easy as possible and that it brings you a sense of peace and belonging with your son and his friends that I have experienced.

Wendy, Keith's mom

tsoley

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Re: Marc's 21st
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2009, 05:53:48 PM »
Hi Judy,

Happy birthday to your dear son. My son Jordan has had two birthday's in Heaven and for each one I had a family gathering. We had a cookout and I made him a birthday cake. We went to the cemetary and let off balloons too. Do what you feel is right for you. You can celebrate his life in any way you choose. I will be thinking about you as you ponder...
Tammy (Jordan's Mom)

charlesafather

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Re: Marc's 21st
« Reply #6 on: July 03, 2009, 02:32:53 PM »
every year, birthday, holiday, we include our chad in all.

             best of wishes and my prayrs
                   charlesafather

LaVonne

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Re: Marc's 21st
« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2009, 08:25:07 AM »
Will be thinking of you all and hope Marc sends a sign.  LaVonne
  Happy birthday early.

Brenda Taylors Mom

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Re: Marc's 21st
« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2009, 10:05:15 AM »
((( Judy)))) I have a cake and Taylor's friends over every year and send off balloons. I try to keep it the same every year so I don't panic too bad thinking of what to do. I just know the day can't go by as just another day. I'm glad Marc's friends will be there, it's so nice to hear their stories, even the ones we didn't want to know lol...
Sending my love to you and your family
Brenda