Author Topic: My Dad, my best friend died, I am lost and scared  (Read 6169 times)


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My Dad, my best friend died, I am lost and scared
« on: September 25, 2008, 11:23:38 PM »
    ??? I am so devestated. I am not sure I can go forward in this life as I know it. It will be my shame and guilt that takes me out. I brought so much turmoil upon myself, and was miserable. I made my Moms (stepmoms and Dads) life a living hell, and I become estranged with my family...only with myself to thank. I believe I broke my Dads heart. He said everytime the phone rang he prayed it was me. I was loney, I was using, I was the living dead.
      And then two years ago my life halted. My Mom and Dad are back in my life. I am clean and sober. By the grace of God there was my Dad and Mom to help and support me in every way, financially, emotionally, phsically and every other way. They made sure I got the best medical care, dental work, support through drug court, you name it, they did it. I say Mom because she has truly been a Mom to me...she has loved me and supported me through my trial and tribulations. My Dad contantly told me how much he loved Mom...I could see it, 24/7. I have now had a chance to see the woman my Mom really is. So much grace, love and has been an incredible lesson. I don't deserve her love, and now I wonder was Mom trying to accomidate my Dad? Does it matter? Does she love me? I am in their home....Moms home. It is time to go soon, I can feel it, I have to go but I am not quite ready.
Please pray for me. I thank God I was able to spend SO much time with my Dad. My heart is broken, twice really, because I believe I might have lost my Mom along the way.  Never take your parents for granted. Thank you for taking the time to read my post, all feed back is welcome!! Joyce
« Last Edit: September 25, 2008, 11:44:48 PM by rolandsdaugter »
Forever Grateful, Joyce


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Re: My Dad, my best friend died, I am lost and scared
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2008, 05:59:10 AM »

Welcome to our board.  I am so sorry for your pain and  the loss of your father. 

Isnt it wonderful to have the  unconditional love of your parents?  Gods love is like that too.    The hardest part is forgiving ourselves for our wrongs, even though everyone else around us has fogiven us long ago.   Staying stuck in the guilt will only keep you stuck in your pain.  Please let it go so that you can move forward.   Someone wise once said that if we've learned from our mistakes, then they really arent mistakes at all.  The best lessons in life are learned through mistakes and hard times,  unfortunately.

I noticed that you have locked your post so that no one can answer it.  Did you do that on purpose??  Only the moderators are able to answer you, so maybe this is why you have not receieved any responses.     Please post again on the MAIN board and see what happens.  Be careful not to block anyone from answering you.

Welcome to our board.  I hope you find comfort here.

« Last Edit: September 27, 2008, 07:57:48 AM by laurenE »