Author Topic: Wish it WERE a celebration  (Read 3240 times)

Terry

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    • “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” –Vicki Harrison
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Wish it WERE a celebration
« on: December 31, 2008, 07:26:43 PM »
I want you all to know that I wish you peace and love and everything good to come your way in 2009. i just read "John's" post on Depression and the New Year and ways to cope and I couldn't even respond. Thank you though John for caring so much to post this.

I can't bear all of the phone calls tonight wishing me Happy New Year. I hate this time of the year and I just can't stop crying. I just want it to be over. The lights, the music, the hurtful comments.....everything, just gone!!!! JUUST GO!!!!

Why, oh why???? Every time I feel my heart has healed a little more, just a little more, these Holidays with all my kids birthdays and Jeff's 6 year coming up and all of these days before, all of this remembering. I'm so tired of remembering. So tired of the hurt. The missing. And I miss my Mother so much and what I wouldn't give to be able to crawl up in her lap right now and fel her arms around me.

There's no one here, well, my Dad, but he's really not here. He doesn't even REMEMBER MY chilkdren??!!

i'm sorry for all this. I just need to write this down and know, really know, that someone is listening.
I'm going to bed soon, sleep, my only rescue.,sleep. love

Jeanneb

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Re: Wish it WERE a celebration
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2008, 08:33:11 PM »
Terry,

It can all be just too much sometimes and we just have to let it out.

The healing can be a painful process but with each breath we move a little forward once again.  I understand wishing we could just have someone take the pain away.

You hold on tight and may tomorrow be a little softer.

Love,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever
Bruce's sister

LaVonne

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Re: Wish it WERE a celebration
« Reply #2 on: January 01, 2009, 06:46:13 AM »
Terry:

 I so relate to what you say. I too wish it were better and that sometimes the holidays just go away. Take it slow and take care of you. Thinking of you and Jeff.  hugs, LaVonne

tsoley

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Re: Wish it WERE a celebration
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2009, 12:05:46 PM »
I have said to my friends many times over the past few weeks "I just want to go to sleep and wake up sometime in February." They laugh, but I mean it. The holidays are very tough. I feel your pain.
Tammy (Jordan's Mom)

Dena

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Re: Wish it WERE a celebration
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2009, 01:12:55 PM »
((((Terry))))

You are so right.  It is five steps forward and 7 huge steps backward.  I went to bed at 11:45 last night.  I didn't have the strength or the will to stay up to midnight.  Sometimes, sleep is our only escape. 

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

Adams Brokenhearted Mama

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Re: Wish it WERE a celebration
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2009, 03:57:45 PM »
"Why, oh why? Every time I feel my heart has healed a little more, just a little more, these Holidays with all my kids birthdays and Jeff's 6 year coming up and all of these days before, all of this remembering. I'm so tired of remembering. So tired of the hurt. The missing. And I miss my Mother so much and what I wouldn't give to be able to crawl up in her lap right now and fel her arms around me."

((Terry)) I HATE having to remember, I want not to have to remember, I just want Adam here with me in the here & now. As soon as the "Big Apple" dropped and everyone started singing out Happy New Year, my 1st thoughts, were in 2009 now it'll be 3 years since Adam went to live with the angels. You wrote how you wish to vbe able to crawl up in your Momma's lap, I too wish for that. My Mom is alive and we don't have that kind of relationship. I have craved that for a long while. I believe that my own babes know that anytime, anywhere at any age their Mom is waiting with open arms.
XO Love to all my sisters & brothers-in-grief XO
Wishing you all peaceful moments, signs from your Angels & many blessings