Author Topic: My sister  (Read 6673 times)

Lucygirl36

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My sister
« on: June 08, 2008, 10:19:43 PM »
i cant believe im actually writing about my sister she died 7 years ago and ive been holding it in ever since.my sister was my best friend and she loved life more than anyone i ever  knew.she was attending cosmotology school.i cant handle her being gone.....i pretend alot.  she was killedd on her way home from school by a wreckless driver..she was afraid of dying but yet was killed instantly. i have had to live without her for all this this time but i feel that i am having a harder time dealing with it.i know i should have gotten help a long time ago. i miss her so much. i dont know what to do . i cant talk to anyone about it..they dont get it. ive watched my parents walk around waiting to die to be with her.i want her back.theres alot of detail to her death but i feel like it dont even matter anymore i just miss her her so much

lostwithouthim

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Re: My sister
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2008, 07:46:14 AM »
I don't know how long a person is suppose to grieve or when it is time to let it go. I doubt there is ever a time to let it go.
My brother passed in Feb of this year, I miss him terribly. Sometimes it is easier to just pretend he too is only a phone call away. Even though I know thats not true.

Grieving is something very personal and traumatic for us all. I hope you find the strength and support you need here.

lope18

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Re: My sister
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2008, 09:49:14 AM »
I lost my sister on April 2nd, so obviously still very new to the grief.  I have a close friend who sent me this passage just last week:

Everyone can master grief but he that has it.  William Shakespeare
 
We are usually our own best judge of what we need to be doing as grievers.  To be sure, we could often use a nudge from friends-if we're being too reclusive, for instance.  Or maybe we need professional counsel, if we know we're just not doing well.
 
But we don't need to take seriously the comments of probably well-meaning but ignorant folk who imply that we are being indulgent or weak in not "getting over it by now"- whether "now" is six months or six years after the loss has occurred.  Every grief has its own timetable, which only the griever knows.  And usually the journey through grief is slow and often delayed.
 
Someone once said it takes seven years to adjust to the lsos of someone close.  So there's no need to apologize if after many months we are still finding grief a major pre-occupation. And there is nothing to be ashamed of if a particularly poignant moment reduces us to tears a very long time after our loved one has died.


I don't know if that helps you, but I found some solace in it.  I also am so sorry for your loss, I too was very close to my sister and I still think about calling and writing her. 

Longwalker

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Re: My sister
« Reply #3 on: June 17, 2008, 03:54:25 PM »
Some things you don't get "over" - you just get through them.  Time takes time.  Everyone is different.  Be patient with yourself.

hemigirl001

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Re: My sister
« Reply #4 on: June 20, 2008, 06:23:19 AM »
I understand completely where you are coming from, but try and hang in there. I don't think any of us will ever feel at 100% total peace with our losses and as long as we know that I think we'll all be okay. It's crazy the bond that forms with siblings isn't it?

I can still remember my sister Marcey getting me so mad when we we're younger and now it's hard to breathe sometimes without her......thank god for memories....I just had a ring done with each of our names engraved and our birthstones next to one another and I don't know it makes me feel not so lonely when I wear it, maybe you can try and do the same thing or something similiar........

Stephanie Lutcavish

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Re: My sister
« Reply #5 on: September 05, 2008, 10:43:32 PM »
hey

i lost my sister as well. i miss her constantly as u do. just remember  what would she want u to do? our bond as twins is so tight. even if one is not even in the room, we know what they are thinking. i still have times when i feel alone but i realize i am never alone. she is always with me, she is that voice in the back of my mind being the voice of reason   or of intuition. they never fully leave us. you just have to open your mind and your heart and be willing to feel them there

kevinjj

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Re: My sister
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2008, 10:20:00 AM »
Lucy, I am sorry for the loss of your sister. I am glad you can talk about her now and mourn. I wasn't able to mourn the death of my kid brother until just recently, shortly after my wife died in Febuary. I cried tears that had been held in for many, many years. I came home on emergency leave from Viet Nam and I was totally numb and immune from any feelings and just tucked his death away in the back of my mind and there it stayed. I finally cried and cried after all those years so Im glad you don't have to wait as long as I did.