Author Topic: Introducing Our Precious Children  (Read 137664 times)

maggiesmom4life

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #90 on: January 07, 2015, 08:49:49 PM »
Roxyray,

I'm so very sorry that your baby is not here for you to hug and hold. Please don't ever allow anyone in your life to minimize your loss just because you had a short time with your baby. Youre not only grieving the death of your baby, but also the future that you had planned. Please feel free to message me anytime. I'm Jamie.

RoxyRay

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #91 on: January 10, 2015, 03:38:37 PM »
Thank you for saying those things.  The truth is that so many are surprised when i tell them the time that i had with Taylor.  Some have been awful enough to say "wow, they do abortions at 18 weeks huh?"  All I could do in that situation was to stand with my gape open and shock on my face.  Your kindness is so welcome as the only time I had found comfort was this year when i asked my mom if i could place a name marker near a tree where she had lost her children.
And while the rest are playing and enjoying the day, i sit at home and hold my doll, wishing you had breath.

Terry

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #92 on: January 10, 2015, 07:26:46 PM »
My child never got a name until this year.  I can only guess as to it's sex.  My baby never drew breath.   I was going through a terrble loss as it was with the knowlage that my father had been struck with cancer that would take him the same month as my baby. The child's father and I were going through a very difficult time in our relationship and said "If it doesn't kick, it isn't a child".  I was utterly alone in the loss.  We had found out about my dad on the 3rd of May that year.  I found out I was pregnant 4 days later.  My family followed the religious requirements for last rites, and as my father's priest was praying over him... I put my hand on my dad's hand; and my belly.  No one else knew I was pregnant.  It really wasn't the time to tell them that I knew something was wrong with my new baby.  I knew deep inside there was something wrong.  Before I could book an appointment, I found I was discharging terribly, and my cramps were horrible.  Fevers were persistant and I was a complete mess.  My father passed on the 23rd and was due for burial on the 26... his birthday.  I went to the funeral and tried to stand up at the begining of the service but the craps were too severe.  I doubled over in pain and a old friend took me to the hospital.  By 9 pm that night, Taylor was gone before I got to know her. 



(((((((RoxyRay)))))))

I am so sorry for the great loss of your precious Taylor. It is heartbreaking to create a beautiful little miracle and then not even get the chance to hold or love your baby. We will remember Taylor here.

I am also sorry your father has died. I'm glad to know that you have your Mom for support and we are here for you, too.

Welcome to Webhealing.

Love,
Terry
"One thing I've learned on this journey (it's been a year and a few days since my husband, Tom, died of cancer), is that in the beginning, there is a lot of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back shuffle." - RobinBlue - Spouse Loss

RoxyRay

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #93 on: January 11, 2015, 08:28:18 AM »
I can't tell you how that makes me feel.  To finally be validated for those loses is now making me cry.  not a bad kind tho'.  I don't want to decieve you  either... it has been since 1998 that i've lost these gems from my life.  it is like it is still just yesterday that i had woken up in recovery crying with a nurse saying .. now hush dear.  you are upsetting the other famillies.  (they didn't put me on a different ward, so i was with new breastfeeding mothers and excited famillies coming for visits)
And while the rest are playing and enjoying the day, i sit at home and hold my doll, wishing you had breath.

Terry

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #94 on: January 11, 2015, 01:27:06 PM »
Roxy,

I certainly understand when you shared that it still feels like yesterday. Any great loss would. Time has a different meaning when we're grieving....when we're missing someone so very much. I believe that the only way we find peace in our lives after such a loss and begin to heal is by being open and honest, just as you've been. Webhealing is a safe place to do that. Keep posting. It helps, a lot.

Love,
Terry
"One thing I've learned on this journey (it's been a year and a few days since my husband, Tom, died of cancer), is that in the beginning, there is a lot of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back shuffle." - RobinBlue - Spouse Loss

RoxyRay

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #95 on: January 16, 2015, 04:56:04 PM »
I find that I'm having such a difficult time these days...
 I obviously have moved forward in so many ways, and still I feel that the raw sorrow is so difficult and contradictory to what is going on in my life currently.
I have had another child after this loss.  Many well meaning people, when I have tried to speak out about my loss to, have said I am being unfair to my child who is here.
 Yet, some days when I do hold my little one (6 yrs old, and special needs)  I wonder what the personality and look of Taylor would have been. 
My husband (we're newlyweds) is tremendously supportive, and again, I feel terrible because I'm feeling down and disconnected because of my losses.  He has held me as close as he can, whispers in my ear that I'm right where I'm supposed to be... but it takes the happiness we are sharing and kinda dampens it and I feel so guilty and confused.  We are so happy, and strong.  When I miss Taylor, I feel like i'm ripping him off from the love I usually am able to share with him.  Like as if, I am doing myself. him and my little one a disservice in the here and now because of the burden and pain of my past. 
And while the rest are playing and enjoying the day, i sit at home and hold my doll, wishing you had breath.

Terry

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #96 on: January 17, 2015, 05:41:28 PM »

RoxyRay...I'm sorry you're struggling with so many issues right now. It's always hard but becomes even more difficult nearing their dates such as birth, death, anniversary and any memory that is close to our hearts. I haven't noticed if you posted Taylor's or your Dad's dates yet. I will post them on the calendar for you, if you like and they will always be remembered here on Webhealing.

I think it's normal to imagine what our child would  be like as they grow into adults. I remember always thinking of how my little girl, Michelle would be like as a teenager when my son was in his teens. You'll always think about your precious Taylor and you're so blessed to have another little one to love and to love you. What is your child's name and if you like, tell me a little about her/him.

Hugs,
Terry
"One thing I've learned on this journey (it's been a year and a few days since my husband, Tom, died of cancer), is that in the beginning, there is a lot of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back shuffle." - RobinBlue - Spouse Loss

RoxyRay

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #97 on: January 20, 2015, 07:43:28 AM »
My father's Bday was May 26 1935
His death date was May 23 1998

Taylor was gone on May 23 1998

please do add these gems to the calander.. i appreciate that very much!

My little one is my Lilia.  She is growing leaps and bounds!  She has what is labled in the DSM V as global developmental delay, and mixed expressive and responsive language disorder.. the long way for we don't know.  We are waiting this year for some specialists to help with a DNA test to see if it is a chormasone issue... one that would develope to William's Syndrome. 

She has specialists ect. involved with her since she was 16 months old, as i knew in utero that something was a miss.  She is doing relatively well in a non specialized public school in grade one.  My beautiful cherub! 
« Last Edit: January 20, 2015, 06:15:49 PM by Terry »
And while the rest are playing and enjoying the day, i sit at home and hold my doll, wishing you had breath.

RoxyRay

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #98 on: January 20, 2015, 07:44:38 AM »
ugh the hugeness of the pic  *facepalm*  i so appoligize for that...
And while the rest are playing and enjoying the day, i sit at home and hold my doll, wishing you had breath.

Tom

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #99 on: January 20, 2015, 06:55:20 PM »
Not to worry Roxy.  Looks good on my screen.

Tom
Tom's New EBook and paperback
 

Terry

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #100 on: January 20, 2015, 07:02:39 PM »

Hi RoxyRay,

No need to apologize for the size of the pictures though I can tell that you would like to post smaller images. :icon_mrgreen: I use Photobucket. It's a free account and very easy to use. Also, the pictures show up much clearer....no pixels!
I posted these two pictures as an example of the sizes. I usually post using just IMAGE instead of IMG THUMB. You can also edit your pictures on there, add frames and do a lot of other really fun stuff. I enjoy the program and have had it for years.

Your Lilia is just gorgeous and thank you for sharing her with us. You two look so happy, like Momma and child should. She is a precious little cherub for sure.

I'm glad she's doing so well, even with those labels. We all have something that distinguishes us from everyone else. There is a world of love in her eyes....that's what I see. And, love conquers so many obstacles.

Hugs,
Terry



This first picture is: IMAGE THUMB


This picture below is: IMAGE
« Last Edit: September 26, 2015, 09:36:07 PM by Terry »
"One thing I've learned on this journey (it's been a year and a few days since my husband, Tom, died of cancer), is that in the beginning, there is a lot of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back shuffle." - RobinBlue - Spouse Loss

RoxyRay

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #101 on: January 26, 2015, 05:02:12 AM »
lol  i'm so glad i found this place... thank you so much for the warm welcomes and the help on here!  you guys are very wonderful...  i finally brought my husband to the marker for Taylor.  I got it before we were married and we've just started sharing this topic as openly as we have.  He is so wonderfully supportive. Yet I do feel that somehow, he is not getting the "heart of me"  because i am so early in the truth of my grief over Taylor and my dad.
 
And while the rest are playing and enjoying the day, i sit at home and hold my doll, wishing you had breath.

Terry

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Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« Reply #102 on: January 28, 2015, 07:59:24 PM »
RoxyRay,

I'm glad to know that you are supported. It all takes time and a lot of patience, on both sides. It's a journey and when we pace ourselves we don't tire so easily.

Always here for you.

((((((RoxyRay))))))

Love,
Terry
"One thing I've learned on this journey (it's been a year and a few days since my husband, Tom, died of cancer), is that in the beginning, there is a lot of the one-step-forward-two-steps-back shuffle." - RobinBlue - Spouse Loss