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Author Topic: SISTER IN-LAW LOOSES HER BROTHER IN-LAW  (Read 2320 times)
Tinker
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« on: May 30, 2008, 12:02:02 PM »

This is my first time here but I was thinking if I could get my feelings out maybe I could begin to heal and maybe than I could help my family deal with there loss and pain.
My brother in-law took his life in December 07 just a few weeks before Christmas.
He made an attempt on his life only 6 months prior to that. My husband and I live about 250 miles away but we would call him to see how things were going and he assured us that he was OK.
We knew that he was having problems at home with his wife and one of his sons and we knew that he was struggling financially as well. We tried to help him out as much as we could with his finance troubles but we just had no idea that he would make another attempt on his life. He PROMISED us that he would never do that again. I feel/ his family feels that his wife basically drove him to pull the trigger. I can not get past the things I have heard him say about his home life and the things his wife would say to him and do to him. Now, there have been so much gossip in the small town and we have no idea what to believe.
I am so angry with him but even more so with his wife and children. They even took him to buy a gun on at least one occasion. I try to be a good person; I try to live a Christian life so why canít I get past this? I pray to God everyday to take this hurt and anger from my heart. I donít wish anything bad to happened to his wife or children I just donít want to see them or talk to them. I no longer see them as part of our family and dread the idea of running into them when we go back for a visit.
If there is anyone out here that can help me with this I am deeply appreciative. 

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lostwithouthim
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« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2008, 10:53:50 PM »

I never seem to know what to say to people when they are grieving. I have found that anger is a norm in the grieving process. I can understand certainly where you might have more anger then what I have experienced. I am sure you feel like your brother-n-law cheated you and your family out of many more
family get together s and Holidays. He promised you he wouldn't  try such a thing again and then broke his promise. I would be angry too.  Angry
I can understand why you would be angry at your sister-n-law and son. They should have been more understanding with him and kinder. I can not imagine driving a suicidal person to get a gun. Especially someone I loved. I might drive them to a therapist but certainly not to a gun store.  Huh

 I think you have every right to be angry. Have you ever heard The EAGLE'S song , There's A Hole In The World Tonight  ? There is a line in the song that says.Anger is just love disappointed. I have found that is usually the truth . Your anger is just love disappointed. I think that fits all of us here at Webhealing.com

Of course you are hurt. You have lost part of your family someone you love.

Keep praying, God hears you and He will answer you. My brother use to tell me that God is never early, He is never late, but He is always right on time.
Sometimes our faith falters when we lose someone because we don't understand why it happened. I guess our grief and confusion makes us weak. Those are the times when we just have to say, God you said when I was weak you would be strong. Well God I am weak and I am reminding you of your promise to me. I can't get through this without your strength. You said to lean not tour own understanding, and God I don't understand.  so I am going to leave all this in your hands. I am going to trust you to make me better and not bitter. Restore peace in my soul.

I personally pray that a lot and it does help.
 
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