Author Topic: Information about the Sibling Loss Board  (Read 33630 times)

irish4479

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2009, 10:53:19 AM »
Hi -
I lost my sister, Michele who was four years younger than me a month ago.  She has been sick for a long time with the asthma, emphysema and the MRSA pneumonia.  She was doing so good - I was going to see her on Monday and stay over.   Her husband called me on Sunday morning and told me she has passed away in her sleep.  I lost both my parents, sister and brother and she was my only sibling.   I feel so guilty for not having some more time with her - she left three boys 29, 22 and a nine year old. He comes down twice a  month to stay me and my family. It is a horrible feeling - crying is random - sometime you have good days and then bad days.  I had a bad night last night as I realized it was a month since I had spoken to my sister and the realization that I was never going to hear her voice again. I screamed and begged her for her forgiveness for not being there more.  My son-in-law is very worried about me but I think I will do my crying and yelling when no one is there - so that way they cannot hear me.  Plus I was in a car accident two days after my sister died.    I am in therapy right now to help me cope and she said you need to let it all out for it will make you sick.  So I am doing the best I can - but it is a lonely feeling to be the last one in the family.   :'(

laurenE

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2009, 03:56:48 PM »
Hi Irish,

I'm glad you found us, but so sorry for your sisters death, and all the many deaths you have had to experience.   Yes it is awful to be the last one around. I know what you mean.    But as hard as it is,  you take the good from all of them and just carry on little traits here and there, so that they will forever be alive.

keep writing,  and welcome

lauren

sadave

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #17 on: March 30, 2009, 05:58:26 PM »
 My brother died.  Only 3 weeks ago.  3 weeks ago I wouldn't have looked for this site.  He died skiing.  An avalanche!  of all things.  He left behind very small children, a wife, his parents, me.  I now am an only child.  He was 20 months older.  We were close.  The worst part about this is the finality of death.  That I'll never never see him again.  That his children will never know him.  That his wife's future dreams are shattered.  That my parent's child predeceased them.  The worst is loss of hope.  I am certain I'll never feel hope again.  Or real joy.  I wish I was a religious fanatic--I'd have something to hold on to.  Right now everything hurts: light, sound, shadow, taste--all stimuli.  The pain is bottomless.   Does it, will it, ever ever be better?

Luvinmike

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #18 on: April 05, 2009, 09:37:17 PM »
Sorry for your loss, this is so sad and overwhelming. We would care to hear more about you and your brother if you feel up to it. Again, just so sorry. Terri  :'( :'(

trying2heal

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #19 on: April 25, 2009, 08:55:13 PM »
Hi Irish 4479,  :'(

I so understand your pain. I lost my only sister Deb on November 15th - just shy of 5 months ago. Her birthday is tomorrow. The pain is so very deep. There are so many stages of grief. I keep circling around and never quite complete any certain stage. I went to grief counseling. I'm still in deep pain. I call her cell phone to hear her voice. Her husband can't bring himself to disconnect her phone. I miss her so very much. I just with I could talk to her one more time. I lost my mother when I was a teenager. My sister sacrificed her life to take care of me. She was only a few years older than me, but throughout my entire life she kept watch and took care of me always. I feel so alone. I feel your pain. You are not alone.   

atxblues

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #20 on: May 07, 2009, 09:58:17 PM »
I just lost my brother 5-3-09.  We didnt find out he had passed until 5-6-09. He hadnt returned our calls for a few days we got worried about him.  He always calls back.  His work said he hadnt been in.  The police broke into his apartment to find him dead.  Dead at 26. Im only 24 this shouldnt be happening.  They say it looks like he just dies in his sleep and they still dont know why.  I just cant figure this out.  We are both grown and live in different cities than our parents.  I wanted him to move out to Dallas with me so bad and he choose Austin.  I just feel like I could have done something.  I wish I would have called him Sunday and maybe something would have been different.  My Mom spoke with him Sunday.  I havent heard his voice in a week.  I just cant stop calling his phone to hear his voicemail and leave a message.  What kills me is its still ringing, why doesnt someone turn it off.  I miss him so badly.  He will miss out on my whole life, he will never have children, never get married, never see mine.  I love him so much.  We moved around our entire lives because of my dads job but we always had each other.  Making new friends every three years, but that one constant is now gone. WHY?

Sad Eyes

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #21 on: May 08, 2009, 05:54:47 AM »
Dear atxblues,

You have my deepest sympathy for your loss.  I'm sorry that you have to go through the pain and sorrow of having lost your brother.  I hope that you will find some comfort knowing that you can come here where others understand your pain and someone is always willing to lend you a shoulder to lean on when you need to talk.  Take care!

Sad Eyes

Bethers

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #22 on: June 09, 2009, 01:47:14 PM »
Hi I Just joined this site and am just getting my bearings...

I lost my sister Millie on 1.2.06, she was 21 months old, She died in a tragic accident, Millie had climbed down the side of her bed to reach a soft toy, Millie got trapped by the iron bars of her bed and eventually suffocated.

I miss her so much :'( I need someone who understands sibling grief, I believe we are the forgotten mouners in today's society, as most grief resources are targeted at bereaved parents.

Siblings have feelings too!

Bethanie x

Luvinmike

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #23 on: June 10, 2009, 03:46:22 AM »
Dear Bethanie- Oh so sorry about your baby sister Millie. I see it has been a few years, but of course the grief stays. I am glad you found this site, please start a new thread and tell us more about your family if you want- there is more activity sometimes on the Main board, and you are welcome to post on any of the boards here. Again, welcome and ask any questions, ask for support, or just read and post as you like. I'm sure I speak for many here in sending you strength and a wish for some comfort. Sincerely, Terri (Main board, lost my husband too soon).

BigSis

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #24 on: June 10, 2009, 07:33:23 PM »
Dear Bethanie

Very sad to hear about yr loss. I lost my dearest brother and it is 6 months on June 12. Really hurts a lot at any age.  We have to live the rest of our lives with this sorrow and can never forget them.

Take care

BigSis

BabyDoll

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #25 on: June 12, 2009, 07:47:22 PM »
Hi all.  I lost my brother on May 3rd (it was his heart...a sudden, quick death).  He was 39 years old.  My mom called me at 3:25 am to tell me my brother was gone.  Since I live in Texas and all of my family is in Michigan, I had to book a flight the same day.  My brother had never married and has no children.  He was my only sibling.  I figured I'd get "the call" someday thinking that it would be about one of my parents...not my brother.  Everything since May 3rd feels like I'm walking through a fog.  I have a husband and children, but they weren't able to go up with me for the funeral and such (husband couldn't get time off and it was too expensive to fly myself and all the kids up).  I was up north for two weeks and was able to see family that I haven't seen in years...such a bittersweet time. 

My husband lost his mother in 2005. . . I loved my mother-in-law; but my husband never bonded with my family and therefore, is not as sympathetic or interested in what I'm going through, so I feel alone in my grief. . . I feel for all of you . .  . it kinda helps to know that others know what I'm going through right now. 

My brother was such a great guy!  He was always laughing.  He dearly loved my kids and loved to spoil them.  I just wish I had lived closer to him, so we could have spent more time together. 

I feel an even greater burden than ever in caring for my parents when the time comes.  I just assumed that when that day came my brother and I would help out together. 

Does the ache  ever go away???  At times, I feel as if I can't take anymore of the pain of loss! 

Doug1222

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #26 on: January 11, 2012, 08:38:13 PM »
Hi, everybody. I guess this is as good a place as any to introduce myself. I lost my brother in 1995 when he was 22 and I was 27. He was active duty in the Army and was killed in an auto accident on his way home. It was a very busy time. I was in my last semester of college, just starting a new job, then I got married, and a lot of other stuff. I was just beginning to deal with the hurt from that when my dad was killed in a very similar accident in 2000 when he was 57. They were both young, healthy, and completely innocent. It's just something that happened. It felt like a knife being plunged into the old wound. After that, I basically shut down a part of my heart. I remember it happening. It was all just too much.

What brought me here was researching what I thought was a mid-life crisis...and probably was one. I've been feeling empty for at least a year. I've made decisions that were out of character and that could be destructive to everything in my life. I felt lost. I questioned everything: job, marriage, family...and came very close to throwing my whole life away like so many do. I knew all along the problem was me. I just didn't know what it was. Then I realized the real problem.

I never grieved my brother or my dad properly!

My wife was there for both deaths. We were dating when my brother died and married when my dad did. She's been my rock for the last twenty years. I was so confused and empty feeling for the last few months that I nearly thought we'd end up divorced. Now I think I know what the real problem is, and I'm ready to start dealing with it. She agrees with me, too. I'm very glad I found this group, and I'll be reading to learn from your experiences. I'm ready to start healing the hole inside of me. Thank you for giving me a place.
Doug

Edit: I just noticed something. I was adding my brother's dates to the other thread about birthdays and angel dates. I can't remember the date he died. I notice most people know it exactly, but I never really notice that date. My mom makes a big deal about angel dates, but I never notice them. She calls every year to ask if I'm all right. I always think,"I was until you called and reminded me what day it is." I don't really pay attention to that date. I'm pretty sure it was July 8 with my brother, though. Just something odd I noticed. Most people know. I'm not sure if I do. I remember birthdays.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2012, 07:15:34 AM by Doug1222 »

lindsalee7

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Re: Information about the Sibling Loss Board
« Reply #27 on: January 22, 2014, 08:36:15 AM »

Hi! I'm 32 and lost my younger sister (26) just 7 months ago. I'm lost, heartbroken, angry...so many things. She wasn't just my sister, she was my best friend. I'm new to webhealing and hoping it will help :)
Lover of life ;)